Need advice to deal with 8 year old DS

[BlackCatTryingToFly]

He is just generally being difficult at home lately. Doing a lot of answering back and arguing and always thinks he is right.
How do you discipline older DC?

sounds a bit like my 9 year old dd. She is never wrong, she always has to have the last word, but she storms off or bursts into tears if I argue back too strongly.

Not sure I've got any answers, but I'm trying to make sure I find time to do things together that she enjoys doing, in her case baking, reading stories, and playing games. I think she has reached that age where they do start to get a bit more independent, and pull away from their parents a little. I have found half term quite helpful, so we could spend some time together re-bonding as a family.

I don't normally use any of the sort of discipline you would use on littler kids. If she is rude I tell her she isn't allowed to talk to us like that, and that is usually enough. I guess you could try threatening no pocket money or no telly time or something similar? I would be interested to know what other people do with this age group.

It's difficult to advise without specifice examples. We try to avoid traditional rewards and punishments. To me it seems that listening is the key. Either just to empathise with the child feeling cross or to work out if there's something else behind the answering back. Maybe he needs more say in his own life?

You could try teaching him the vocabulary he needs to express himself in a more civil way so it doesn't come across as answering back. After all polite assertiveness is a useful skill!

As for always thinking they're right, there's usually some point in the day when DCs are prepared to listen and take on board what I'm saying. You don't necessarily have to take immediate action. At this age, when you've got their attention, you can say 'remember this morning at breakfast when ....'

Another thing I find works is asking more questions for them to answer. This can get them to follow the logic of their thoughts and realise that actually they aren't right or that what they want isn't possible. I think when children figure things out this way, they don't feel stupid about being wrong.