Can your 3-4 year old dress themselves easily?

[Petisa]

Do your 3-4 year olds put on all their clothes themselves every day? And can they do up buttons and zip up coats?

What else do they do for themselves?

I suspect I'm not very good at giving dd1 independence to do things for herself. She can put on her trousers/socks/shoes/pants fine but struggles with long-sleeved things like tops, cardigans and coats and can't zip up her coat. Also she cba getting dressed herself and it's a battle to get her to try. Any ideas for motivating her?

She also likes to eat with her hands, even though she's v good at using a spoon and fork. She spills cups everywhere what seems like all the time. She plays with her food and I never get her to butter her own toast or pour her own milk/water.

She doesn't know her surname or her address. (Can you tell I've been reading that neglect thread? ) However her vocabulary is great and she loves reading books. She can't read though or write her own name (though she loves trying to write letters now and could make a stab at it)

Am I a crap parent?

DD1 is 3.7. She can put on her own skirts and trousers and leggings if they're elasticated. She can put on velcro shoes or slip on shoes on the correct feet. She can put on toos and coats but can only undo buttons, not do them up. She hasn't tried zips, buckles or doing up buttons and can't tie shoe laces.

She also doesn't know her address or birthday but knows all her immediate family and own full name, age and sex.

You are not a crap parent. My youngest dd (5 last week) still struggles with buttons and socks but she is happy, confident and bright. Her reading is now fab and she loves books but her handwriting is shocking and she gets upset about it. She has no idea of our address.
One thing that having 3 children has taught me is that they all do things in a different order but they all manage to master the basic skills eventually.
Dont worry

Ds is 4.4 and can't really dress himself (unless it's something he wants to wear and then there's no problem ). Has no problem stripping, it's getting the clothes on, like your dd it's the long-sleeved tops he finds the most difficulty with. Zips no, buttons yes with a little time.

Knows his age, what month is birthday in on, his full name and can recognise the letters in it and write the short version of it. Doesn't know his address but knows his immediate family's full names - mine, my parents etc is a different surname from him and his dad's family.

Can use a fork but still prefers his fingers and I'm trying to work on that one before he starts school in September.

Honestly he has come on leaps and bounds since starting pre-school (reception).

Every child is different so try not to compare to other wee ones. They will get there in their own time so no you aren't a crap parent :)

Just turned 4.
Knows his full name (I don't know how, I didn't teach it to him ).
Can get dressed entirely by self sometimes, and always s l o w l y.
Apparently is the only child in preschool who zips up own coat.
Used to pour own milk. After many a mess, now lets me do it.
Doesn't know what an address is!
iffy vocabulary, very unclear speech :(.
Can recognise & sort of write first letter of forename.

Dd is 3 - knows my full name because I think it's vital should she get lost, don't want shop staff to be yelling for 'mummy' on the tanoy when they could be using my name.

She knows her name and age etc. great with speech. As for dressing we're not so advanced on that but I'm not pushing it to be honest.

No, you are not a crap parent!
DD1 (4yrs 9m) can dress self fully, zips, uses knife and fork sometimes, although struggles still with using them properly, pours without spilling most of the time, knows own name and address, has full vocabulary and never stops chatting.

DD2 (3yrs 4m) can dress self mostly, but struggles with long sleeves (if they're tight) and can't do the starting bit of zips. Can't use a knife and fork properly yet, but gives it a good go. Pours sometimes without spilling. Knows own name and address, has a full vocab and also never stops chatting.

Somewhere between 3y4m and 4y9m they learn.

:)

What's this neglect thread? Has it got you worried?

DS as you know is DD1's age and can do trousers, shoes, pants (with me telling him which way round they go) but can't do socks himself very well. He needs help with long sleeved things and can't do zips without help to start the zip IYSWIM.

DS also eats with hands a lot (BLW I think is part of this). He always has a spoon and fork and is fine with them but uses hands a lot too. he has cartons of juice/in a bottle of water/bottles of water so doesn't really use a cup although he's fine with one and has a glass (sometimes with straw) if we're out. It has never even occurred to me to get him to butter his toast or pour his own drink

He knows his full name, but needs a little prompting with my surname (double barrelled). He doesn't know his address. Is this expected of 3-4 yr olds . He can read most of the names of the kids at preschool and writes his own correctly (first name only) but that's cos they're making a huge push on that at preschool, the aim this year is for them to be able to write their first name by the end of the year.

crap parent, as if! Oh yes and he takes aaaaages to get dressed and usually flings his pyjamas across the room, whilst shouting lasso! a la Diego, which drives me mad and I end up forcibly dressing him myself.

DD is 4 next week. She can dress herself properly, and is fine with buttons and zips.

She can use a knife and fork, but tends to just use the fork, and will use her hands if something is particularly delicious and she wants to eat it quickly.

She knows her full name, can write her first name, and knows our address.

A lot of this is probably because she is very stubborn and independent. 'Me do it.' was one of her first full sentences. They all learn different things at different speeds.

DD is 3.6. She can dress easily and do up buttons (although sometimes misses the top button so it's all wonky) but can't yet do zips on her own.
She still finds it hard to use a knife and fork, and will revert to spoon and fingers if not pushed.
She knows her full name, parents names and address, but not her birthday.
She can recognise her name, about half the letters of the alphabet and most numbers up to 10, but can't write any yet, and can't draw anything beyond a scribble.
Oh and she can have a go at buttering toast and pouring drinks, but I tend to do it for her- thats something I want to start encouraging a bit more.

Thanks everyone, I do feel better now. I am however workign on getting dd1 to help dress herself more, pour her own milk, etc.

Pipoca, this is the thread. It describes children who have genuinely been neglected but it also mentions children in reception/p1 who don't know how to dress themselves/use a knife/know their own address and surname etc and those things kind of got me thinking about my own parenting

DS1 is 4.10y and can dress himself in the mornings, and can do the velcro on his shoes. He is fairly independent. He isn't doing the zip on his coat yet but that will come with time. I'm not forcing him to do stuff he is struggling with. He's not been pressured into dressing himself, he's just decided a couple of months ago that he wanted to do it all himself so I let him get on with it, really.

DD is 4.0 and can dress herself but struggles with zips (although seems ok with buttons)

She cannot use a knife (despite me showing her again & again ) but is fine with spoon & fork.

She knows her full name including middle name but can only write her first name.

She knows which town she lives in but that's about it on the address front!!

Mine can't do socks, tights or tops that are tight. She can't do zips at all, my DS 5 struggles with them too.

Someone on here said to do it 'halfway' for them and that has worked well for us e.g. put pants on legs, they pull them up. Move onto putting them on the floor right way round at the bottom of their feet then they put them on.

DS was desperate to dress himself, and was doing so reasonably by the time he was 3yrs. I naturally assumed that all children were like this, and that it was prob down to my parenting skills

His younger sister turned 3 at Christmas and is equally determined NOT to dress herself. She can pull her knickers up when she wants to, and put shoes on when she's in the right mood, but otherwise I end up dressing her as we have to be out the door for school. She had many more accidents when toilet training too and still likes to hold on for hours and hours until bursting.

She does however know that she is 3 and her full name, and she talks a hell of a lot

DD2 (3.6) can get herself dressed when she wants but normally goes for clothes without buttons or zips, in the morning she normally still wants my help.

She is good at eating with a fork and spoon, she will try to use a knife and has some success with softer food. She can drink from a cup and has poured milk at nursery with no spillage. She has buttered bread at nursery but not sure how successfully.

She knows her first and last name but needs reminding occasionally what her middle name is. She can recognise her name some times and knows what the first letter is. She can count ok up until about 17 I think but doesn't recognise numbers. She loves stories but can't read at all. She doesn't know our address and not sure if she knows my name. She talks well and can through quite amazing tantrums.

just turned 4yo ds won't dress himself, i'm sure he could if he wanted to but he is determined not to do it and would happily go naked so i force help him to get dressed.

he can pull his pants and trousers up after going to the loo etc
he doesn't do up his zip

he is very resistant to being taught and wants me to do it for him.

DS is 3.4. Can put on trousers, socks (if I fold them half inside out in a specific way) wellies but not shoes, all t-shirts and jumpers, sleeve length not an issue, but he can't do e.g. cardigans which open at the front. Can't do buttons or poppers. Can do zips if started off for him and attempts to start them himself.

He did not know his surname until he started nursery and it was written on his communication book and his teacher read it out to him. Even now I'm not sure he knows that it is part of his name. It's a little confusing too because he has a legal surname which is my ex's but because he doesn't see his dad any more I decided to use my surname for him at school as a "known as", but anything I signed him up for before this of course has his legal name on.

He knows that he is 3, our street number and the colour of our door but not the address (I remember my sister used to rattle it off quite alarmingly!)