Kids reading books rather than interacting - rude or a good thing?

[cerys74]

Inspired by another thread where OP wished her kids didn't want/need gadgets to amuse themselves through a family gathering...

When I was a kid, I took a book everywhere (close family meals, extended family meals/parties, shopping malls, in the car, in bed etc) and rarely took my nose out of it unless forced. Sometimes I got told off but at other times I was left to get on with it for hours! These days kids seem to do the same with electronic gadgets and I personally haven't seen many of them with books. The fact that they are using gadgets rather than some other sort of distraction device seems to often be a bone of contention with parents.

I guess my question is: would you be pleased if your child constantly had their nose in a book, or annoyed because they weren't interacting socially? Would you just be grateful it was a book and not a gadget?

DD1 rarely has her nose out of a book. It used to annoy me at breakfast particularly, till I realised that she's slow to come round in the morning, and I read the paper over breakfast, so really couldn't complain.

It does shut her off a bit though, so I worried about that. However I'd rather she was reading a variety of books, than playing the same games over and over again. That I think is the key for me, in respect to her at least.

DD2 is becoming more like her, and it is hard to stop her reading too late in bed. She is a very different personality though, and I think she'd always rather talk than read.

Moderation in everything perhaps?

I wouldn't have a problem with book or a quiet game, tbh.

I read almost constantly as a child but I do remember occasionally being told off for it being rude. I sometimes used to go to dinner parties with my parents when they would set me up in a room with some books or films to entertain myself with but at a family event I think I would have been expected to join in. I'm not really that fussed about the difference between books and gadgets tbh, surely the behaviour is rude whether it's a book or a gadget? That said, some of the older children in our family now spend family gatherings entertaining themselves with gadgets or books and it doesn't really bother me. I still read at breakfast, in bed, in the car and whenever I can tbh.

mustdash - I hadn't thought about the fact that you get more variety from reading books than playing games - that's a good point! In retrospect I was a bit shut off as a kid, but now I don't shut up in company so I guess I'm making up for lost time (or maybe just more confident) :) Moderation is probably a good thing though.

Almamartyr - that's what puzzled me, the fact that the behaviour is the same whatever the device employed might be! I was wondering if people have this built in 'it must be ok, it's a book!' response...

My DS is only 7 months so we've got a way to go, but I'll be gutted if he doesn't like reading! I used to read constantly but now it's just at bedtime. One of the best bits of my day though :)

When we attend any family function/meal etc the DC (mine and others) usually bring along their DS/phones etc and the kids all huddle together commenting on what/who is doing what on what devise etc... i don't see this as a bad thing, they're interacting with each other and if we want to share in what they are doing (i found out how to increase memory on i-phone by conversing with a 12YO :o ) then we join in their conversations and vice versa - i personally don't like kids running around all over the place when eating out, so if taking along a book/DS/phone to entertain them, so be it.

I remember being dragged to parties & being harangued by my parents for being antisocial by reading books & not interacting.

They weren't my friends! I didn't choose to be there (sheesh).

It is really going to be down to the specific social situation, isn't it? I always had my nose in a book, and still do (all my bags are big enough for an emergency book!).

As a kid I had to join in for family events, mealtimes and anything where I could reasonably be expected to interact with other people, or where reading would look like I was ignoring someone. But if my mum was meeting a friend for a cuppa, I could read a book quietly. Anything where there were relatives and/or other kids though - no books.

I was a book worm, and was never told off for it. That said, i put the book down when we were doing 'family' stuff - like eating at the table, talking etc. - primarily because i was also a nosey little thing and preferred to be in on whatever conversation was going on. Reading was encouraged in my house, but so was talking and playing. I also had computer games, but loved playing outdoors etc. I suppose looking back we were quite an outdoorsy family.

I personally would rather see a child reading a book than playing on their phone, face booking or whatever. My DSD was a big reader, but also somewhat reclusive, so in her case it was a bad thing. But i would give anything to see her pick up a book again now. SHe hasn't read one for months but is constantly on her laptop, ipod or phone.

Is it the thought that of on an electronic devise it is somehow less educational? If the child was on a kindle would that be more appropriate ?

No, i think books encourage children to develop an imagination that electronic devices can't.