Am nervous, feels like the day I got my A level results!
Tomorrow is the first day in my sons life, I will have managed to take him out on my own as finally got a car seat accessible to a wonky joints and limited limb movement mummy like me. I will though put on my make up, smile, dress smartly and I will have to lean on my sons buggy as I physically can not manage him and holding sticks. So tomorrow I am going out to Bounce and Rhyme for a singsong with my little man.
I am scared I will struggle and get stuck trying to get him out on my own, what if my hands are so rubbish I can't unfold the buggy, what if I take so long trying to wrap my arms around my son to put his weight through my chest in order to lift him and he kicks off? What if all the other mums stare at me, thinking I am a teenage mum with a baby at first because I am four foot eleven, then see age and pain in my face and realise I am a disabled mummy and all my attempts to just try and manage on my own so my son can make friends is wasted as no one wants to sit next to the disabled person and her child?
I am scared and it will kill my joints, I will have to take morphine when we get home but I hope all my fears will be distant memories tomorrow night, my son is out being a normal child and socialising, some parents won't judge my rubbish cover and will be welcoming, the struggle will be so worth it for my son and I and all will go smoothly.
Please wish me luck guys, I am scared but my disabilities will not disable my sons life, I have to try and get out there independently.
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