I haven't baked with dd for over two years, and we never "get out in the fresh air"

[Gogglemint]

I don't really care how neatly/well she does her homework as long as she gets it done. I never tidy her room. I have left myself two weeks to plan her birthday party and she goes to late stay four nights a week. On the other day my husband picks her up. We live on soup, cheese on toast, yoghurts and chocolate. And yet I still hold the believe that I am a good mum, as I do the best I can.

May you all feel slightly better about your own parenting .

You sound like you need a holiday op.

I'm hardly weaving my own yoghurt here. But I know I'd feel utter shite if that's all I ate. I don't actually believe your whole family is existing on that. On the days I can't be arsed, I just give the dc a picnic. Blanket on the floor, owls filled with all sorts from the fridge and cupboard. They see it as a massive treat rather than me just not being bothered. Something like that takes minutes. I don't think it's being smug to point out that a diet so full of crap probably contributes to feeling low.

Gogglemint, I don't know if it'll make you feel any better but I honestly believe all the activities, home cooking etc count for shit in the long run. My mum did all that and she was an utterly crap mother who never hugged me or supported me emotionally in any way. I would have far far far preferred a mum who never cooked a meal or took me to drama classes but instead cuddled me on the couch in front of a film with a bowl of popcorn. Taking kids on outings and baking with them might tick a lot of boxes on a parenting list but they're easy compared to what it takes to be a real mother - that involves love, patience, kindness, warmth - all the things my mother never had. Focus on being nice and you'll be fine.

The standard day is home at 6.30pm, with dd needing to be asleep by 8pm at the latest. What am I able to cook between 6.30 and 6.45 that dd will actually eat? I'm just short of ideas! Dp is home at 7pm-make something for him while checking homework and running bath. Dd in the bath, bed, story, back downstairs, talk to dp, back upstairs, work until 1am, bed, up at 6.30am. Unless I want to be working until 2am I can't find the time to cook!

I don't think your a bad mum but your not exactly painting a picture of a happy existence for your daughter or yourself for that matter. Not sure there is much excuse for such a poor diet though

bowls. I don't tend to fill owls with foodstuffs.

Cook something the night before that can be heated up the next day

Do you have a freezer?

"The cook from scratchers" . Cats-that's what I did before I was bringing work home, but now I need the 45 mins I do have to sit down, not cook. What are you all constituting as a good diet? Dd does have cooked dinners at school, so doesn't have rickets yet.

My kids are crap eaters too but simple things like scrambled eggs take. O time at all. Sometimes I just put out crackers, cheese, ham and salad stuff and let them just pick away.

Nothing wrong with the odd ready meal though !

If she has a cooked dinner at school , then something on toast or a sandwich is ok in the evening

Goggle, don't worry about the cooking, seriously. My mother's family were brought up on white bread and bacon with a few potatoes and cabbage thrown in now and again, and all nine of them (yes, nine!) are perfectly healthy adults with zero allergies/weight problems. People obsess far too much about food these days - a brown bread cheese sandwich with a banana and a packet of crisps is actually one of the most nutritionally balanced meals you can eat, in terms of the carbohydrates, fats, proteins and essential minerals it provides. There are plenty of pretty healthy frozen foods you can buy that only take a few minutes to cook - fishcakes, falafels, even frozen baked potatoes! Don't stress, seriously, she'll be fine.

We have the little ice tray at the top of the fridge, but that's all. I did branch out to filled pasta with pesto last week but it went down like a lead balloon and dd asked to be excused. And yes, I know, it is because I feed her terrible food.

Do you eat any fruit and vegetables? Chicken, meat or fish?

bowls. I don't tend to fill owls with foodstuffs.

I had visions of all these fat owls perched on a picnic mat in the living room...

Invest in a freezer if you can, it'll save you a lot of heartache.

If she's having hot dinners then I guess there's not such a need for a second cooked dinner. What about wraps or pitta's?

There's nothing wrong with baked beans on toast.
But like the others say, maybe something you made earlier that could be warmed up. Casserole or macaroni cheese or tacos or lasagne or homemade burgers or curry & rice.

As I like to say beans count as one of your five a day!

I thought the owls were cute, and would spice up any meal!

We have 3/4 portions of fruit per day and 3 veg with each meal, but I always forget about them for some reason as they are so automatic. We eat tons of poached/boiled eggs too, and chicken with pasta. And sausage and mash, And tuna baked potatoes. Oh holy moly, we eat more than I thought! Also have bircher museli for breakfast most mornings, as it is dh's job to whip it up before bed.

That all sounds really good Goggle.

At weekends you could batch cook and freeze then during the week just defrost during the day and reheat when you get home. Or like other have said you don't have to 'cook' for a meal to be healthy - sandwiches, fruit, veg sticks. Though I do draw the line at crisps being nutritionally balanced CailinDana!

Ah. We don't have a freezer either so most of the "make a big batch and freeze it in portions" advice doesn't work for us either. Although I don't doubt someone will be along to recommend a slow cooker soon as an alternative

Pasta, casseroles, sausages, chilli, omelette, curry are all relatively quick. Use jars of sauce to cheat and swap round the accompaniments (baked potatoes, flat breads, rice, potatoes).

Salad is easy. Buy the pre-washed in a bag stuff or grow your own leaves - dead easy. Fruit and yoghurt for pudding.

Do a roast at the weekend and have leftovers on Monday night with bought potato salad and coleslaw (yum!)

Get your dh to do dinner for the two of you more often or cook stuff for dd that you all like. Also get him to take dd out Saturday morning (swimming, gym, drama, ballet or whatever) and you take her out on Sunday morning so you each get some time together and alone. Take it in turns to plan something to do as a family one afternoon of the weekend.

I feel even more positive now! Have been moaning gently nudging at dh to get a freezer for the past 3 years, but he says I need to wait until the 15 year old 3rd hand fridge packs in (am so tempted to take a screwdriver to the back of it, but we can't afford to replace it yet!).

Every meal should have a certain percentage of fat and salt and a small packet of ready salted crisps provides that in the meal I mentioned ladywithnomanors. Completely cutting out salt and fat is very bad for you. Everything needs to be eaten in moderation to constitute a balanced diet.