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Original poster

Serious baby

24 replies

QueenKong · 10/02/2012 14:08

My DS is 8mo and is constantly described as serious. He smiles and giggles loads at home with me and DH but when strangers coo at him he just gives them a cold, hard stare which reminds me of DH. He makes good eye contact with everyone, just doesn't smile on cue. If he spends more than an hour with someone, he'll maybe start smiling.

I haven't been worried about it, and have been offering the reply "well, these are serious times we are living in" which usually fails to get a laugh. But today, I overheard one of the other mum's from our little group saying "see, he doesn't smile" to someone.

Should I be worried? I always assumed it was because he's a bit clingy and the fact both my husband and I are pretty reserved. But now I've gone all paranoid about it.

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Original poster

QueenKong · 10/02/2012 14:09

Apologies for the apostrophe failure. Gaah!

OP posts:

BeerTricksP0tter · 10/02/2012 14:13

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lukewarm · 10/02/2012 14:13

Sounds normal! Too busy sussing new situations out to worry about the inane people trying to get him to smile. Sign of a superior intelligence imo

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dontmakemecomeupthere · 10/02/2012 14:13

He actually sounds very discerning .

If you're seeing plenty of smiles and giggles at home I wouldn't worry. Ds1 was always cautious around strangers and there's nothing wrong with him (now 9). You know your baby best.

Almostfifty · 10/02/2012 14:18

One of mine was like this, his brothers used to spend hours making him giggle. He spent his life looking around, taking everything in and was very aware.

He's still a serious lad, and the clever one of the family.

So, your son is obviously going to be the genius in your house. :o

pictish · 10/02/2012 14:18

My daughter was like this up until very recently - she will be 3 next weekend.
As soon as anyone spoke to her, she just fixed them with a glare....and that's if she bothered too look at them at all....quite often she would haughtily turn away while giving them a scathing sidelong glance.

I never worried about it - I think she was just unsure of people she didn't know, and truth be told, it used to make me laugh. I don't think she smiled at anyone that wasn't immediate family until about 2 months ago!

She is slowly coming out of her shell and laughing and smiling more freely. She'll get there in the end. So will yours, don't worry. x

UnnamedFemaleProtagonist · 10/02/2012 14:21

My eldest was like this too. She was always being described as 'serious'. I have hardly any photos of her smiling. She was a very early walker and talker and is top of her class and reading Jane Eyre at the moment. She is 9. HTH.

pictish · 10/02/2012 14:21

In fact - I have a photo of her on my profile. It is one of only two photos I have of her (sort of) smiling. The camera still gets the cold hard stare you describe.

Original poster

QueenKong · 10/02/2012 14:23

Thanks, you've put my mind at rest. I hate it when things like this happen and make me question everything.

I always thought he was just discerning. DH is a grumpy bugger quite quiet and short with people until he knows them and relaxes, so maybe he's just like his dad. Oh help.

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Original poster

QueenKong · 10/02/2012 14:24

pictish - your DD sounds hilarious. Can I borrow her next time I meet up with my baby group?!

OP posts:

MaidenDevon · 10/02/2012 14:48

My 18 month DD was like this and still is (exactly like DH). Despite going to the same mum and baby group every week since she was 3 weeks old, it was only 2 weeks ago that she laughed and smiled whilst throwing herself around in the soft play area, despite having "known" people there since being tiny. She's just reserved and that's her personality.

The best places are lifts where you have a captive audience ooohing and ahhhhing at her and she's looking at them like they've gone out to lunch, whilst throwing me a sideways glance which says "nutters".

If he's fine at home/with familiar people don't worry.

Plonker · 10/02/2012 14:56

My eldest was the same too. Very serious, didn't smile very much and would fix strangers with a glare if they dared to talk to her (which they often did because she was soooo cute )

She is a happy 12yo now, who is still a little wary of strangers (no bad thing imo) and has lots of friends

She doesn't have the super-human intelligence that everyone told me she'd have though

Original poster

QueenKong · 10/02/2012 15:07

Oh god, you're right, the lift scenario is awful MaidenDevon! I always feel bad for the little old ladies who try for ages to get a smile. I end up apologising!

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NoTeaForMe · 10/02/2012 15:50

My baby is exactly like this! She is nearly 16months now and is smilier but most of the time she still gives her cold hard stare to strangers. I just says she's not keen in strangers, I have had people tell me she's miserable though! She's just serious, it's not a problem don't worry!

PamPerdbrat · 10/02/2012 16:02

DS is the same! He is 16mo and every time we go to soft play; he GLARES at the lady behind the desk! She tries to make light of it and calls him 'mr serious' and tickles him under the chin (which at home creases him up), but she is greeted with a stare that says 'don't fuck with me, lady'.

It is a bit but I think it's just him. DH is a man of few words; I think DS is the same. He wants to sit and take it all in before making his move!

coldcomfortHeart · 10/02/2012 21:38

Well apparently when I was a baby I'd smile engagingly and then as soon as anyone smiled back or spoke to me I'd start wailing hysterically. My mum took to telling people not to speak to me at all!

OP don't worry. And that other mum was just rude

Snowboarder · 11/02/2012 16:44

I could have written this post OP, my DS is 10 mo and so serious it sometimes gets me down. He can be very smiley and giddy with me and DH but is very serious with almost everyone else. He is so cute/ striking though with olive skin, dark hair and blue eyes (biased?!) so he gets cooed at A LOT. He usually gives the cold hard stare or just looks down right thunderous - he has one of those faces I just know is going to get him a lifetime of people asking 'what's wrong?' when he's actually fine.

I sometimes find myself making excuses for his seriousness by saying he's just woken up, didn't sleep well last night or is recovering from a cold. I know that's bad but I just don't want people to think he is a miserable so and so. Currently pregnant with number 2 and hoping they'll be a bit more 'sunny' in disposition.

Molehillmountain · 11/02/2012 21:21

Have had two dd's who smile like muppets for all and sundry. And a very sensible ds who saved it for those he loved . I just loved him more every time someone commented on him being serious or grumpy.

woopsidaisy · 12/02/2012 17:50

My DS2 was like this. And he has really big eyebrows, he looked so menacing! He just didn't throw his love away to strangers. It used to make me laugh when he just stared at people so seriously....

kilo · 12/02/2012 21:18

my best friend's oldest son was just like this, and he has grown into the loveliest little 5 year old, quietly confident, hard-working at school, polite, thoughtful, really kind to younger children....it's just his personality, there's nothing wrong with it and i think the other mum was really insensitive and ignorant to make such a stupid comment. one of the great things about kids is they don't feel they have to please or entertain people, so i think just keep loving him for who he is (as you obviously do) and ignore other people's need to have some kind of reaction from the 'cute baby' that makes them feel better.:)

astreetcarnamedknackered · 12/02/2012 21:24

Don't worry! Enjoy your babe, and remember you will have an easier time teaching stranger danger. I fear my DS will happily go to anyone including the one-toothed old drunk at the bus stop.

As for mean comments don't take it to heart. Some people are mean. Children though - one little girl told her mum in the supermarket thar my baby was ugly! Wasn't sure whether to kick her or her mum for not whacking the little shit ... !

dinkystinkyexpectations · 12/02/2012 21:26

Dont worry about it. DS1 was a very smiley baby - he would (and did) smile at a wall/rock/toad as easily as smile at people. By contrast, DS2 was a much more serious baby - less ready to smile and more unsure around strangers. But he's now 3 and exactly like DS1 was at 3 - bright, sociable, ready to laugh, have fun and participate in things like classes/pantos etc with strangers. So ignore, ignore , ignore.

Kalisi · 13/02/2012 22:13

Haha! This thread is fantastic! my 7 month old is exactly the same. He is dependant on oxygen so he gets a lot of attention whenever we go out and like your little one, will just sit staring like a sultan waiting to be amused. Once he gets to know someone there is no end to the giggles but the nearest a stranger can get is a half-assed grin to humour them. I've never been worried it's a running joke in our community and I know the kid will turn out to be a bloody genius! :-D

VikingLady · 15/02/2012 14:19

This is making me laugh! I'm pg with DC1 and DM has been telling me all about what I was like as a little 'un. Just like yours! Giggly and happy with my parents and one GM, but everyone else got the Death Stare. If anyone tried to get closer, say pat my head, I'd glare even harder and move away from them.

DH insists this hasn't really changed.... Though DM says I was a lot more sociable with other small children. At least you don't have to worry too much about stranger danger when your DS is older!

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