Impatient, ratty and short-tempered SAHM of an 18 month old. That's me!

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I feel like i have been, for the most part of the last 3 weeks, a crap mum to my gorgeous ds (18 months).

I wake in the morning and it feels like an effort to play and interact with him. I sometimes feel like i simply can not be arsed to deal with the tantrums etc.

we go out every morning and that feels like such an effort these days, i used to have so much patience for the constant stopping and inspecting. Recently though I have found myself being quite short-tempered and, on occasion, heaving him up, plonking him in the pushchair and charging off, swearing under my breath.

Feeding is great, and i enjoy our mealtimes together. Afternoons are generally fun, but then we get home and i feel like tearing my hair out as literally as we walk in the door he turns from an angel to a clawing, whinging, crying nightmare. Just as i have dinner to prepare and a house to sort. I have been known to charge into the lounge, with him under one arm, grab the remote, plonk him on the sofa and storm off cursing. i feel sick with myself.

i just feel so worked up and negative at the moment. he is being an ordinary toddler. that's it. and yet i can not seem to cope with it at the moment. i have lost any sense of sparkle and humour.

does anyone have an advise? should i be concerned about myself?

sort this seems so whingey.

p.s. nursery is not an option. i won't bore you with the details, but it is not and will not be for another year.

It sounds like you're bored and he's tired. You say 'afternoons are fun' ... does he have an afternoon nap? For the boredom, try to find things you can do where you can interact with other grown-ups, talk/think about something other than the next nappy change etc. Children are lovely but, be honest, if he wasn't yours would you voluntarily spend so much time with a small child?

Hope some experts will be along soon, bumping for you.

1. Sounds like you've been a very good mum for the last 3 weeks! Despite feeling rubbish, you've been out and about every day, having fun with your DS, good mealtimes, enjoyable afternoons, preparing meals, keeping house sorted!!!! Give yourself a break sometimes. It's not an easy job.

1. Nothing whatsoever wrong with child + Cbeebies while you get the tea on.

1. Could you give teatime house sorting a miss (maybe every other day) until this difficult stage sorts itself out?

1. Could you preempt the teatime witching hour (it is also my favourite time to want to tear my hair out and swear under my breath) How about:

a) before you go out take 2 minutes to get a favourite DVD cued up, snuggly blanket + teddy on sofa and a couple of small nibbles ready for him to chomp on. b) If you need to have him in the kitchen with you, which I did, I used to have a metal suitcase thing filled with "exciting stuff" all sorts of household crap e.g. old bunch of keys, old mobile phone, wooden spoons, that came out only at the witching hour while I was making the tea and therefore had novelty value.

1. If you are at all worried about yourself, (maybe you're thinking a bit of postnatal depression?) then get to GP or phone Health Visitor (if yours is any good)and just tell them how you feel. Weather not great at present and this doesn't help if you need a bit of sunshine in your system. I had PND and each year have a blip during the winter months.

Good luck tonight!

Marking my place as the ratty mum of 3yo & 5mo...

I was going through a bit of a phase like this a few months ago. (DD is now 2).
At the time I was like you 'what is wrong with me? Where are my motherly instincts? Why aren't I as patient as everyone else?'
I also was the same when my eldest was about that age.

I find it a very difficult age, worse than what everyone seems to think are the terrible twos.

It's the fact that you wake up each day thinking 'here we go again'. It's never going to be great once you have that frame of mind, but it is very difficult to get out of it.

Not sure I have good advice for you, as I was also plonking her in the pushchair quite frequently, but you are definitely not alone (and in hindsight, I probably had a bit of pnd but am feeling much better now).

Occasionally there'll be a thread similar to yours relating to feeling frustrated with looking after a young toddler, and funnily enough reading some of those over the last few months made me feel much better!

Lady I'm now on day 5 of being in my tiny flat with tired, ill 4.5 yr old and energetic, lively 2 yr old!
I'm being very philosophical about it all!

Me too hun. 19 month old very clingy, screamy and whingy and I survive everyday just lately not enjoy. I feel ratty and short tempered with him and yet when he's lovely he's lovely. I've just decided as crap as it is at the mo, it's a phase, he's doing what toddlers do. Working as well is tiring but I don't mean this to sound awful I sort if look forward to it as its adult company and a slight break from the clinginess. He dosnt do it with his gran an is worse with his dad. Chin up and although no advice, your not alone xx

Thanks so so much for all the messages. i genuinely felt better having read them.

We have had a lovely afternoon, and i think it was because we were not alone. We went to soft play with a friend and her toddler, then coffee, and i honestly really enjoyed myself! threw myself into soft play and my ds was beside himself with happiness and excitement.

also I rang dh at work and said that i ether wanted to start trying for a second, or i wanted to go back to work part time. he said let's go with a second child. i feel ready for it.

it is the mornings that i find the worst actually, he is always grumpier and clingier in the mornings when i think about it. but maybe that is just how he is going to be during this phase and i need to suck it up rather than whinging. bloody hard though.

thanks so much again
xx