Fretting mum- come tell me if I'm mad!

[LauraSmurf]

I am the mothers of a gorgeous 10wo DD. everything is going well, feeding, weight gain, generally happy baby.

Over the past week I have been trying to follow baby whisperer for her sleeps, I follow it roughly for everything, but I was worried she wasn't sleeping enough during the day do tried to put her down when I thought she should map. Naturally this didn't work! Today I have let her dictate nap times and this hs been much better.

However my new stress is about her dummy. I give it to her during the day for her naps. It is a pretty sure fire way to get her to sleep. She doesn't often wake when it falls out, if it does I let her grizzle for 5 mins. She sometimes drops off again in this 5 minutes.

However I am feeling like a failure every time I use the dummy. Tell me I am mad! She sleeps until 6am from a 10:30 dream feed and is happy I am mad aren't I?

Tell me I am not ruining her with a dummy?

I used a dummy in a very similar way (realised DD was using me as a dummy and wanted to be able to get up and do things!)

As long as you're just using it for sleeping and she's not got it in her mouth all day, I can't see the harm.

It's a personal thing though, I think some people are quite anti-dummy, but they aren't going to come and settle your baby at 4 am....

If you want to use the dummy, use the dummy. Best advice I was ever given "Whatever works for you and your baby!"

You are definitely not mad, you should not feel guilty, you sound like a lovely and very together mum, and there is no right answer to these questions. Actually there is a right answer - and it is whatever works for you and your baby

I never used a dummy. No idea why, I have nothing against them. Nobody suggested it to me.
If I'd known it could help my babies sleep I certainly would have tried harder!
Don't feel bad.

The dummy isn't a problem, really. It's clearly working for you and for her.

You are not ruining her with a dummy! She likes to suck, so do lots of babies. I get told off by the dentist because neither of my children would go near a dummy (which I was, of course, pre children, adamant i would never use.. they spat it out) and instead like to suck their fingers. So you are doing much better than me!
If she sleeps, you all win.

You're helping her and you! Her teeth won't be affected as they would if she sucked her thumb, and she's being comforted. My daughter had a dummy in her cot till she was two. It helped her sleep. On her second birthday we all said goodbye to the dummies. She was fine, it was a sort of ceremony, and she didn't even miss them as shed been weaning herself off them. Definitely give yourself a pat on the back!

No, of course you're not , you are meeting her needs! Some babies are really comforted by sucking and it settles them. My other dc weren't interested but dc1 loved his from about 7w until about 9m, it saw him through constipation and colicky pains as a nb and teething later on. Took them away once he was waking to find the dummy, as then it started to defeat the purpose.

Thank you for the support. I know in my heart of hearts I am doing ok. It's just keeping perspective is sometimes hard.

You get so focused on what you are least happy with!!

She has woken twice this evening since being put down, she doesn't normally do this. I hope it's not a dummy induced waking, she didn't need to use it for nights until tonight :s