Kindergarten insists on potty training!

[greenland]

I have a lovely but very wilful 3 year old DS. He is very sure he doesn't want to use a potty or toilet! He has agreed to wear pants instead of nappy after weeks of persuading! But he just wees/poos in the pants and isn't the slightest bit bothered- in fact he barely notices!
He is very sensitive in all other ways- notices if you change the brand of food or hears tiniest noise from miles away so can't understand it. Also DS2 (18 months) is quite good at using the toilet so we thought this might encourage DS1 as he wouldn't want ot be outdone, but he simply congratulates DS2 on his achievements!
Was also hoping he might go to kindergarten part time- but won't be admitted if not toilet trained. Worry he will miss out on stuff at kindergarten as most other kids his age are going.
Any bright ideas- have tried most forms of bribery..................He digs his heels in even more if he senses he's being 'conned' into something. Should I just be patient- or will I just make things harder in the long run? Anyone have experience of kids not being trained til 3+? Thanks!

My DS is the same... My DD is 18 months and she tends to ask for wee wee!! Everyone keeps telling me it is a "boy thing" I have no real advise but will watch this thread fr any idea!

I am interested in the fact that he is aware that he is being 'conned'.

How does he know this and why does he feel this?

Have you come across Cods potty training thread?

greenland, just to tell you not to despair, at 3 my DS wasn't interested at all. At 3+2months i got really fed up, he spent 2 days wetting his pants and then got the hang of it, was reliably dry after a week.

I'm pretty sure that when they're ready, it just happens! Hopefully it'll happen soon

greenland, my DS was exactly the same. He went to nursery with a big bag of spare clothes for about a year. it never bothered him at all. He was at least 4 before he was fairly reliably dry (in that i didn't take a change of clothes everywhere). Everyone tells you not to worry about it, but it's hard not to with much younger relatives "showing them up".
Eventually he cracked it, but at 6 years old, we still have occasional accidents; if he's "too busy" or playing a game/reading a book etc.
I agree that it seems to be a boy thing, and that's the advice i got from HV and Doctor. Good luck

Thanks everyone for your encouragement!
Will check out cod's thread. VVVQV- he reacts as if he's being 'conned' when I ask him to try things perhaps before he's ready. So if I try too many times, albeit in a low key way, he just doesn't want to hear talk of it. Or he just says politely 'no thank you.'
Like when I tried to swap bottles for other cups and milk for other drinks. He simply was not having it and then one day gladly gave them up, but it's like what matters to him is being in control and feeling like it is his choice. Maybe what I'm realising is that patience is once again called for...........