Is this to be expected or am I a bed parent?

[Thereistoomuchconfusion]

My nearly 4 year old has all of a suddenly developed diva traits in her attitude. She told her keyworker at preschool this week that 'I do not tidy up' and stamped her feet, it shocked them, and me when they told me. But these episodes are creeping in and I want to put a stop to it she responds well to time out, but I am rubbish at doing it.

She talks nonstop and often tells people how to do things no matter about age etc, I am getting the impression she is grating on people, such as my sil, and I get that impression from her keyworkers too. She can be exhausting with her insesent questioning. She is also torally adorable too, very funny a great sense of humor and helpful at home.

I just feel with this attitude problem creeping in a) I am no good at handling it and b) feel I have failed a bit and have managed to bring up a spoilt brat.

Probably sounds dramatic but I've been beating myself for the way she behaved at preschool this week. The paranoia I have about people not liking her is plaguing my mind constantly.

Any support, advice, constructive critism I would be soooo grateful

thank you

This sounds fairly standard behaviour for a 4 year old girl. I just laugh at that sort of pronouncement and reply that we all tidy up.

I don't do time out as neither of my dd's respond well to it. My dd1 (8) can be very bossy. I say 'yes boss' when she starts ordering me around and she stops fairly quickly at that point.

Like lots of things with children it is probably just a phase as she tests out new boundaries and situations. If you keep consistent in letting her know how you expect her to behave it will pass.

Thank you I hope it is a phase. I probably am too lenient at times. Totally opposite from her I was/am always shy and quiet. I'm glad she oozes confidence and I want that too remain, but I find it hard to get a balance between stopping her thinking she is the boss of the universe and knocking her confidence. Sometimes I think she does walk all over me.
This morning she has said to me;
'I was sitting there move' I told her off for manners and I didn't move
'ahhhhh put my barbies dress on' I calmly gave it back to her and told her I might help her if she asks correctly
'I want cornflakes not Cheerios' I didn't give in.

This is relatively new attitude developing so I'm hoping it passes.

Do you think it would help if when she speaks in the above manner I put her in timeout?? Or do you think I'm giving the right responses?

I don't think time-out works with those types of things - you need something instant and memorable. Tell her off straight away, demand an apology and tell that you will not be spoken to in that way. If you hear her doing something similar with other people, nip it in the bud, demand she apologises and so forth. You will not harm a child's confidence by insisting on manners and respect.

I just wanted to add that my 4.6 year old ds has started being a little toad. I think/hope it's just a phase. His friends in his class all seem to be going through the same!

He is normally lovely and never a one for tantrums but he's started answering back, throwing himself on the floor when he doesn't get his own way etc. we do the naughty step which works but we've started taking away his favourite toy until he can show he can behave etc which works well so far. We have also been going a bit over the top with praise when he does something good/does as he's asked etc.