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Parenting

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Original poster

country bumpkins or townies

10 replies

peelywalypolly · 02/02/2012 18:56

Thinking about where we live and how this affects our children.

What is more appealing

a) country kids who are more childlike for longer, freedom to roam, dont really care about fashion until perhaps mid teens, small schools with less than 50 pupils in total.

b) big city, more choice, more street wise, more mature.

Just for the past few years i have been set in my thinking, sure it was best for me and best for my children. Now i am not sure and wondered what others think.

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Natzer · 02/02/2012 19:16

I'm a country kid and I loved it! I live in the country now too and would never dream of even living near a bit city. [shudders]

And I have in the past lived in London and Bristol for a number of years, but wouldn't want my children growing up there.

Susiewho · 02/02/2012 19:20

I grew up in the countryside and disagree that children/teens in rural areas are more childlike and less interested in fashion than townies. Certainly not in my (small, rural) secondary school. We were just more frustrated and bored than I imagine our town/city contemporaries were! :)

Susiewho · 02/02/2012 19:21

Can be isolating for a teenager too, as you rely on parents for transport more - lack of public transport and fewer opportunities to walk to friends' houses etc as those in urban areas.

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Iggly · 02/02/2012 19:30

Townie here. I don't like the idea of relying on cars but love the idea of ds and dd getting loads of time outdoors. I think DS would thrive - he loves being outside! We have a big garden, loads of parks and take uk based country holidays so hopefully he'll get plenty. DD is only 9 weeks so not sure what she'll like

sponkle · 02/02/2012 19:42

Hmmmn I find this particularly interesting just now as I'm in a real quandry as to where to be for my teenage DS soon to be 16 and my DS2 who is 4.

I grew up in a town but quite isolated as not on a street where we mixed with other children particularly. Went to boarding school anyway and so friends were far flung iyswim.

Currently we live in a village because it's a safe, cosy environemnt for young children to grow up with access to fields and freedom and fresh air. Having said that, DS 15y is taking class A drugs with village low life and I have seen a very different side of things!

Do we relocate to a town where there would be more going on, ie less boredom factor to reduce risk of access to drugs or stay in village as low life and drugs are to be found pretty much everywhere???

Genuinely don't know the answer to this one, and would be extremely interested to see what other's points of view are on this.

lukewarm · 02/02/2012 19:52

Or somewhere that is a bit of both?

Whisper: suburbia

It's actually great!

Susiewho · 02/02/2012 20:00

sponkle, that's interesting - what you say about drug-taking. In the rural area I grew up in, teens taking drugs was very commonplace. There was a lot of boredom, and many started glue-sniffing and moved on to harder stuff. A high proportion of people in my class smoked too. A real mixture of backgrounds - from farming farmilies to parents who were barristers and top surgeons etc, etc.

Original poster

peelywalypolly · 02/02/2012 20:18

mmm i have to say where we are so isolated i'm not sure there are many class A drugs to be had. Maybe i'm wrong and i only think this as i'm an old 'desperate housewife' but kids around here just seem to vanish after high school and head to the city for uni.

We live in a tiny hamlet and it does feel quite 'safe'. Very low crime rate and never lock the door or worry about car theft or anything like that.

The lack of public transport is a huge issue for me. We have 3 buses a day one in the morn, one after lunch and one early evening. Often they don't turn up. No buses on a sunday 'because of religious reasons' the tourist information lady told me

I don't mind giving the kids lifts when they are older but i would like to be able to offer them a bit more independance too. When i was 11ish i was allowed to go two stops on the train from our village and see at movie at the cinema. I felt very grown.

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MrsDobalina · 02/02/2012 22:31

I grew up in the country and it was awful. No choice of friends if it goes pear shaped as all the children in a ten mile radius go to the same primary and secondary school. NOTHING to do as a teenager unless you liked drinking cider and doing drugs in the graveyard. No buses anywhere. We were the only non white british family except the Chinese family that ran the takeaway and that was weird and grim.

I personally don't think you can avoid drugs wherever you are. Just hope your children are as geeky as I was and were not 'cool' enough to get offered them.

Having said that I got a great state secondary education and I'm not sure my toddlers will get the same in this corner of London (though they LOVE everything that London has to offer for toddlers!)

Letchladee · 02/02/2012 22:57

Hmmm, isn't this a bit of a false dichotomy?

What about market towns? Or large villages?

we live in one. DDs go to a school of about 200 pupils - but they still have the freedom that you mention. But there's also a lot of clubs within the village / town, a youth club, busses to the big town for the weekends...

Likewise, Surburbia has many of the features of a village too, if you go for a villagey feel for it.

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