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Parenting

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Original poster

Gun phase

21 replies

racingheart · 02/02/2012 08:50

DS2 (Yr 5) is going through a gun phase. At first I let it pass, as I thought he'll grow out of it. Saves up all his pocket money for an arsenal of Nerf guns, goes out with friends on mini shoots (often without ammo - they just like running around and shouting and ducking. That's OK.
He also builds firable guns from Lego whenever he's not out with the nerf.
Now they've got a school project to pick an eminent Victorian to write about, and he's picked some man who designed a gun.

Usually I wouldn't interfere on choices in projects but I feel like saying no to this and making him pick someone who did something more valuable than design a machine for killing. There's plenty of brilliant Victorians to choose from. What would you do?

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/02/2012 10:51

I'd let him run with it because a lot of intelligent people - not necessarily killers - have a healthy passion for militaria & weaponry. The project sounds like a good opportunity. If he's chosen the designer of the Maxim gun, for example, you could make sure that part of his research includes acknowlegement of its role in various conflicts, how it affected strategy perhaps and encourage him to explore whether inventing a bigger, better weapon is a good or a bad thing. If you try to block his interest, guaranteed that will only make it more attractive.

TheEpilator · 02/02/2012 11:14

Hi. My DS1 also very obsessed with guns so I know how you feel. At parents evening his ICT teacher told us that everyone else in the class had chosen a sport or hobby to base their project on, and that he was a little surprised that DS had chosen guns.

He has a photo of himself in combat gear and a balaclava holding a nerf gun he's painted black - I did worry that one day that photo would be on the news when he goes on some rampage!!!

On the plus side, since getting a scooter for Xmas his interest in Nerf (& elastic band guns, cap guns, wooden guns, laser tag, shooting games on Xbox etc!) has dwindled a bit. I think its a phase some boys go through, but as he grows up he'll find other interests (music, girls etc) that give him the same thrill. DS is 12 and is growing out of the gun thing a bit now.

To be fair, its just a bit like someone being really into trains or motorbikes. Go with it and encourage alternatives where you can. As Cogito says, making him see the bigger picture might help to take some of the 'glamour' out of it too. DS watched some TV progs about soldiers with DH which I think helped to put the guns into a real context, rather than being an accessory you choose on Call of Duty etc.

Original poster

racingheart · 02/02/2012 11:18

Thank you both. Epilator - that made me laugh. He has all the guns you mention and also sprays them black so they look realistic. And it is partly the school's utter disapproval of guns that makes me a bit ashamed, although his teacher did agree he could investigate this.

Cogito - I agree. I just doubt myself sometimes and like Epilator, wonder if the fascination will turn dodgy at some point, and I'll feel I should have waded in earlier and insisted he focus on baskets of kittens instead.

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welliesandpyjamas · 02/02/2012 11:55

The more of an issue you create, the more it will appeal to him. There's also more to be learnt about guns that just assuming they are for killing. Maybe he'd be fascinated by target shooting, a skill in itself, especially with the Olympics coming up which should please the school!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/02/2012 12:07

BTW... is the inventor Sir William Armstrong? Fascinating bloke if it is.

Original poster

racingheart · 02/02/2012 13:06

No, it's someone Gatling.
Yes target shooting has its own appeal. To be fair to him, he seems obsessed with the mechanics and design of guns - how they fire, not what they hit. OK, I've decided not to intervene.
Points gun at fond ideas of researching Dickens or Browning and shoots them

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welliesandpyjamas · 02/02/2012 18:33

Wow, impressive, a little engineer in the making! Definitely to be encouraged!

Sparklingbrook · 02/02/2012 18:35

Nerf guns are great. It's Nerftastic round here most of the time.

welliesandpyjamas · 02/02/2012 18:45

Actually, the Nerftastic comment from Sparklingbrook just reminded me, OP, that as part of your DS' gun mad phase you and he could put together your own family's 'gun manners'. The number one rule for playing with guns in our house is that they are Never Ever pointed at people, despite them being toys. It's just not very sporting

Sparklingbrook · 02/02/2012 18:47

NOT AT THE FACE!! And repeat, and repeat. Unfortunately we have the 'Dart Tag' with the velcro bullets and vests (and goggles). DH looks like Bono in the goggles. I am generally hiding in the Nerf Shelter.

Original poster

racingheart · 02/02/2012 19:43

He's done it now and it looks really good.

Don't mind the occasional Nerf War myself. he's now sitting post bath wrapped in a towel building mini crossbows with Lego. repeat to self: an engineer in the making.

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Sparklingbrook · 02/02/2012 20:16

When my two were a bit younger a balloon animal type person was at the local garden centre. He asked what they would like him to make. They came away with 2 balloon machine guns.

Breitling · 02/02/2012 20:20

nothing wrong with kids playing gun games.

I was brought up playing guns with my brothers and our friends. None of us is a deranged killer.

My dc have plenty of guns and beleive me the kids who come round and are desperate to play guns all the time are the ones who are banned from playing them at home

Let him enjoy himself, no harm will be done.

Original poster

racingheart · 02/02/2012 23:11

My sons have always had guns. I can't see the point of banning them, when every L shaped stick they find in the woods goes bang. But they've never been quite so exclusively fixated with them before, how they look and work. Hoping it's a phase like all the others, and can't imagine anyone less likely to gun em down in later years than DS2. He is usually off in some happy little trance of his own, snuggled up with the cat making killing machines from lego and elastic bands

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PushyDad · 03/02/2012 02:07

As a teenager I use to collect replica guns. If that wasn't enough, I would subscribe to US magazines like Guns & Ammo and Combat Handguns. Fast forward to today where I am a father of a 11 yr DS who loves his guns. He has the 20-shot Tommy Nerf gun, the six shot handgun plus the usual cap firing ones. For his 10th birthday we invited the whole class to Laser Quasar (a game invovling light shooting guns) I'm waiting for him to be old enough to come paintballing with me. His love for Call of Duty games has been covered in another thread to do with kids and cert 18 games :)

Apart from his love of guns and PC games where he gets to "shoot" guns he also loves playing the violin, drums and the piano. Sport wise he represents his House in badminton, rugby and cross country

I got a mate who loves his Ford. He belongs to a club and they regularly meet to show off their pimped Fords. He can't understand while I like guns. Likewise I can't understand his love of cars particularly when it is a Ford. Ferrari or Porche - maybe but a Ford??? :)

Anyway. It is just scaremongering by sociologists. To me, the attraction to cars or trains is similarly hard to understand

Original poster

racingheart · 03/02/2012 13:18

Can you explain what sparks the fascination, pushydad? For you and him? Have you ever been in real combat?

Unlike your son, he doesn't have as many other strong interests. he loves lego and quite likes art. Plays rugby but not bothered about it. His brother is sporty and musical and not that fussed about guns so part of me wants to encourage him towards other things, but part of me thinks, let him be.

Are soldiers obsessed with guns or do they just see them as necessary tools for the job they do? I've always wondered if armed forces play Call of Duty when they have free time or whether they'd rather dig the roses.

Homework's handed in now and nerf gun battle has been arranged with mates for tomorrow morning.

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SecretSquirrels · 03/02/2012 17:02

Two boys here who were never going to be allowed to play with guns. I wouldn't even let them wear combat trousers so precious was I.
I caved in when they were about 6. To be honest I'd rather they were running around playing shooting than sat inside.
It was an eye opener for me when I took them to laser quest. It was the most fun I had in years.
They are teenagers now and not particularly interested in anything military or guns but always enjoy the odd paintball game.

ReadingTeaLeaves · 03/02/2012 22:02

The book Playful Parenting talks about this a lot - it's a natural stage for boys apparently and denying it just makes it worse. Girls tend to do something similar but with wands and broomsticks or something... (so we don't tend to mind so much).

FWIW my cousin was banned from gun games from a young age by his hippy mother - she was absolutely rigid about it. He joined the army when he was 16........

PushyDad · 04/02/2012 15:14

racingheart - I don't understand my fascination with guns. But then I doubt people who are into trains, Ford cars :) can explain their fascination to me.

Original poster

racingheart · 04/02/2012 15:20

Reading tealeaves - that's interesting about your cousin.

Wow secret. Even I wore combats when they were tiny - they didn't show every tiny spill and dribble. (Theirs not mine!)

Well DS has just got back from his battle, cheeks glowing and ravenous, saying it was the best fun he's had this year. And I just bought yet another Nerf for a friend of his for a birthday today, so i guess the gun phase is here to stay for a while.

Pushy even if a Ford car fan could explain his fascination, I doubt I'd understand it! Some things are beyond comprehension.

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TheEpilator · 09/02/2012 09:22

Same here with the engineering slant on things - when they're so 'into' something that they want to know how it all works and know the name of every weapon they see on TV from 100 yards then I think we can convince ourselves that they are seeing it from an engineering perspective and that it is most definitely educational

He asked if he joined the cadets would that mean he would have to join the army when he grows up, as he doesn't really fancy being shot! So while he is interested in playing at being soldiers, he understands that there's a big difference between that and actually being one.

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