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I feel like I'm going insane..

5 replies

mammainlove · 01/02/2012 15:36

My 20mo dd is amazing, I am very lucky to have a gorgeous loving dp, supportive family, dc2 on the way, but I spend so much time breaking down, getting stress out,uncontrollably.

Dd is going through a very difficult phase at the moment,sooo clingy,unless her grandparents are here, she wants constant attention,i can't do any house work, cooking etc without her screaming to be picked up. I can't hold her for very long as she's heavy, on to of my pregnant tummy. She screams when I change her nappy, she's hardly eating anything. To go out anywhere is such an effort, getting her dressed,me dressed,packing bag etc, we are usually late for playgroup,although we often don't make it out as the tears and effort are too much!

She never used to be this sensitive. The thing is, I am so over sensitive, especially at the moment with all the pregnancy hormones, she must pick up on that. I think I do well to keep it together most of the time in front of her or anyone, but inside I'm raging. I feel sooo guilty, I wish I was stronger, but to be honest, I think I still struggle with the fact I'm not my own person anymore, my freedom is lost. I'm so utterly in love with my dd, I just can't handle it when she's unhappy! I go to pieces. I'm also concerned about it getting worse when I have 2 children, in only 4 months!!

Sorry for the long rant, don't feel I have anyone to talk to who will understand!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MerryMarigold · 01/02/2012 15:43

It IS hard, but try to focus on the good things, and enjoy them. Sounds like you're seeing all the negatives and focussing on those. Don't beat yourself up for seeing bad stuff, because they are REAL, but they can also get out of proportion and you'll feel a lot better if the good/ bad is balanced. I bet there are loads and loads of lovely things too in each day. Every time you come across one, or she does something lovely, try and dwell on it a bit. Hey, maybe even write a list of all the things you love about your dd and things you love about being a Mum.

WeeLors · 02/02/2012 13:39

Hey, don't know if this helps but DS went through a bit of a clingy difficult phase at that age, your description of your DD while you're trying to cook rings big bells for me. Good news is it didn't last long, maybe a month (can't remember), he's been fine again for the last few months (he's turning 2 at the weekend). I was speaking to a friend the other day and she said her DD (19mths) is going through the exact same thing just now.

I think there's maybe a bit of a separation anxiety phase again at this age. Hopefully your DD will come through the other end soon (I'm certain she'll be through it before next DC is here). Can you forget about the housework to an extent for a wee while (can DP help?) and maybe try batch cooking once DD is in bed so you can just bung something in the oven to heat most nights? Would it be possible for her grandparents to take her out for the afternoon occasionally so you can put your feet up with a cuppa get things done in the house? If you've got a wee break from all the day-to-days for a wee while you and your DD might relax a bit around one another and things might improve. As I say though, its prob one of those wonderful developmental phases that they don't tell you about before you have children, it will pass.

Sorry, no other suggestions, hope things improve for you soon

mammainlove · 03/02/2012 20:53

Thanks mammas, ur absolutely right about thinking positive. Batch cooking is a really good idea too. She has been going to bed past 10 for the last few weeks so I'm always shattered by the time she drops off! It's good to know it's probably a phase and will pass though. X

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stjo · 03/02/2012 21:09

Definitely brings back memories as my first and second were eighteen months apart. It does go (now 15 and 17!) but here's a couple of things that helped - find a good sturdy stool or chair so you dd can "help" with cooking even if it is just mixing dried beans (cheap/easy to hover!) while you cook. Agree about forgetting house work but if not possible at times mine went through a phase of loving hoovering, sometimes too enthusiasically, but it did mean we were doing something together. Perhaps also take pictures of the activities you do in the day together and create a picture board to remind her of what things to look forward to - some children find routine comforting especially with all the new experiences at nursery. Best of luck

mammainlove · 03/02/2012 23:21

Great ideas, I will try. Thank u x

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