my kids are billy no mates and i think partly my fault

[festiveface]

ds1 and ds2 never get invited to other kids houses. It's not that they behave badly,i think it's just that the kids are inviting other kids they like better.
But, i haven't made a huge effort to invite friends here and until recently didn't think i was doing anything wrong really.
The reason i haven't done is because it's never been a success when i have.

How often do you have your childs friends in for tea/play and how often do they go to friends?

do you get on with your own thing or do you closely watch?

last time i found i had to keep intervening as ds2 was boasting and i'm sure making the other kid feel uncomfortable. In fact i always feel that the friend will want to go home prematurely!

does any of this make sense

they are 10 and 6

ds1 never seems to want to play with anyone else...more i think about it the more worried i'm getting

My kids never get invited anywhere either. Neither of them has a "best" friend, they just seem to float about choosing who they play with on a day to day basis. They don't have birthday parties, because it would be inviting people for the sake of it, they don't get invited to other parties either. It doesn't seem to bother them, i doubt they have even noticed, they seem quite happy with just us at home. They are 6 and 7 by the way - and normal happy children. TBH, some of the girls in DD's class at school are a bit scarey, i don't think i'd want them in my house anyway!!!

ye, that sounds like my kids.
I just remember always being around other kids when i was young and defo had a best friend. Feel like mine are missing out on something vital.
they aren't the only ones tho, that makes me feel better.

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Sounds like they're having too much fun at home and they have each other to play with. Do they seem bothered at all?

When my ds1 was wee I used to invite kids over, but that was because he was an only child. I just used to leave them to it. However if he had a brother or sister to play with, I don't think I would have bothered too much.

He's got a brother and sister now BTW, but there is an 18 year age gap!

My children are the same way. I feel really bad but they seem happy. DH and I are very shy and don't have any friends here in the UK. I worry that they are picking this up from us and it's bad for them.

Just thought I'd let you know that you aren't alone.

i'm shy myself and dh doesn't see much of his mates these days. Occasionally meets up with them at the pub. Come to think of it we only really have my brother and his girlfriend as visitors.