Need help with a sucky baby, driving me CRAZY!!!

[theterribletwos]

I'm struggling to get my DS down at bedtime (15wo). I've done a thread for advice on routines etc but a newer problem seems to be emerging and I need some advice.

He is ebf, and there is no routine at all in how often he feeds day or night. He seems to be feeding alot at the moment, possibly a growth spurt? We were on holiday last week, and there he would start to get grumpy at about 8.30. I'd usually have him back at the apt by 9, and be able to give him a feed, sometimes holding him on my knee, but sometimes with him lying next to me, and then transfer him into a cot with usually no problems, he'd stay asleep (or maybe need one more go) for a few hours.

He's now in a travel cot as he's grown out of his basket, new cot is on the way. But over the last few nights, although he is clearly tired and grumpy, I am really really struggling to get him to go down. I take him into the darkened bedroom for a feed, and he'll either fall asleep on my knee, or fuss so I need to lie down and feed him and he'll fall asleep next to me.

But, he keeps sucking. I have to extricate my boob from his mouth. This will either wake him up straight away and he'll get upset, or i'll manage to get him into the cot and then he'll wake, sometimes immediately, sometimes after a few mins. And the only thing that gets him back to sleep? Boob back in the mouth!

I've tried a dummy a few times but it justs get spat back out. I'm at the stage now where I dread bed time, and I am starting to actually hate that feeling of him suckling on me (and I love bf, I fed DS1 till he gave up at 19mo). I feel a massive pressure as there is nothing DH can do (He's just taken him out for a walk in the pram after I gave up for the umpteenth time).

But I can't spend two hours in the dark every evening with a baby suckling on me. I need my evening for my sanity.

Help!!

bump?

My dd did this, I've been using the gentle removal technique from the no cry sleep solution book. Basically you gently remove your nipple when the baby is very sleepy but not quite asleep. If they start to fuss you can try gently closing their mouth. If that does work let them suckle again for between 10-60 seconds then try again. Eventually they should go to sleep.

This has worked for us, but it's a slow technique. I found it less awful if I accepted spending a few evenings settling dd, and set myself up with book, laptop, chocolate etc.

We had a period when the sucking got especially bad and the removal technique just made dd really distressed, it turned out that dd was teething and sucking for comfort, might be something to consider.

This probably isn't too helpful, but my DD 21 weeks is the same and I just keep her in the living room with me until I go to bed. Path of least resitstance - I'd rather be watching telly than sitting upstairs in the dark. We have a bedside cot but spend most of the night co-sleeping with my boob in her mouth! I'm probably foolishly hoping she'll grow out of it soon!

I agree with Belmo. It will be just a phase, it will get better, and in the meantime just do whatever helps you deal with it. My dd was a dreadful cluster feeder in the evenings, but I just used to carry on as much as normal with her latched on, and wait until she was deeply enough asleep that she unlatched before putting her down. She went through a phase of only going to sleep at 12/1am and then only after hours of guzzling. However, at 10mo she normally goes to bed sometime around 8pm, has stopped feeding to sleep, and just has quick pit-stop feeds in the day most of the time - and that's with us doing absolutely nothing to train her, so there is hope!

My DS did this as well - drove me crazy! I found that he wouldn't take a dummy, but he would take my little finger (the knuckle). I know it still means you're tied to him - but at least it gives your nipples a break!

What's he doing in respect of his own hands? Does he suck them at all?