Not really sure why I'm posting, just need somewhere to put down my thoughts and I guess to see if anyone has any advice to help me be a better mum.
My DS is 12 weeks and I am struggling to cope with not being able to put him down for any longer than ten minutes at a time. I'm finding it really hard to entertain him as he seems to only like mat /rattle/rhymes for a few minutes each. Unless I am out pounding the streets he will only sleep on me during the day and this is now creeping into his night sleeping too. I adore him but I am starting to really struggle with not being able to even shower without him crying to be picked up. I've tried slings / swings but he seems to only be able to tolerate them for a few minutes at a time. I was just about coping when at night he was feeding and going straight back to sleep in his bed, but this is now falling apart too and he is spending more and more time in bed with me, the only way i can try and get more than the odd hour here or there.
Sorry I am tired and don't know what I can do to try and break this, I feel like I am spending so much time willing him to sleep or settle so I can go to the toilet / get dressed that I am wasting precious time learning how to be a good mum.
My DS tries to be supportive but works full time so isn't around much in the week. My parents are being amazing at helping me out but I just feel like I can't do anything in the house but sit under him which is no fun for either of us.
I'm used to a demanding job and love a routine but I just can't seem to be able to get things to fall into place anymore. I can't bear to think that he has been saddled with a rubbish mum because he deserves the best.
Sorry it's turned into a ramble but I feel a little better just having acknowledged to myself that am finding this tough going. I keep looking at his gorgeous little face and feel like I am failing him already. Thank you for reading if you have made it this far.