Is it worth while trying to finish my phd?

[Socy]

I'm in the submission pending (4th) year of a social sciences phd and am really struggling. I have been working as an associate lecturer since September, before that I had funding. I am absolutely exhausted from trying to fit everything in (single parent, 3 teenagers) and today broke down in tears in supervision. My supervisors were very understanding and suggested I take a couple of weeks off the phd completely, but I just don't think a couple of weeks will make much difference and I dread the thought of it all piling up until the summer months ( I have to submit by September).

I am not convinced I want to work in academia anyway (even if I could get a job) so perhaps it would make more sense to just give up now?

Hi Socy, I have not long completed my PhD in science. I would say - don't give up now!! Truly and honestly, the hard graft is behind you. This final push will be worth it. Can you try and think in terms of smaller goals. E.g. finish section 2.1.1, or finish survey 1 statistics? I found that helped a little.

Thanks for the reply. You are probably right and I should carry on, it just seems like I have made no progress since September and I won't be able to tackle it in earnest until after Easter. I guess I just need to hang in there!

I really do sympathize Socy. Writing up and submitting a PhD is incredibly isolating - most people haven't done it and those that have almost immediately forget what it was like. While I was writing up, someone in my office who submitted 6 months earlier said that I should find it enjoyable. Ha!! When she was submitting hers she had a tantrum, kicked the printer and vanished for a week leaving her car at work. Very enjoyable indeed...

Anyway, my point is that almost everybody finds this bit incredibly hard. And lots of people think about not finishing. Hang in there though, you ARE making progress even if it doesn't feel like it.

Please don't give up now. You're nearly there. I guarantee everyone who has ever done a phd has been through what you're going through now, or they're lying.

I am in a similar-ish situation (science and my DC are pre schoolers, though) and yesterday decided that I would never ever finish. But back to the detailed plan, little bits at a time. I nominally have until 20th April to finish, but, with supervisor's support, will be applying for another term's extension.
A couple of weeks off, if you can relax, unwind and get some sleep, may do all the good in the world: 1 day "on fire" and writing well is wayyyy better than just plugging through for the sake of it day after day.
I don't want to work in academia either, but a nearly 4 year CV gap is tricky and truly, you so don't want to abandon all your hard work now.
Take 2 weeks, do something you really enjoy, come back to it fresh and make a clear day by day plan, so you can tick something off each and every day (for me, as a scientist, it's a bit of my methods section, do you have an equivalent?)

Thanks - the couple of weeks off is what my supervisors have told me to do. I don't know about sleeping though as I lie awake worrying about it! My biggest problem is that I am working as an associate lecturer until Easter, with marking after that too and it is taking up most of my time.

I have started to make a list for an agenda when I meet up with my supervisors again and getting a list of exactly what I still need to do so that I can come up with the detailed plan is top of the list - I have made plans in the past, but there always seems to be something I haven't considered.

Currently I don't feel in control at all - I am trying to create something without really knowing what it is (like following a recipe for something without a clue as to how it is supposed to turn out). I've looked at other Phds but there does not seem to be a standard format to follow in my subject area. At least having realised that I am unlikely to get a job which really needs a phd I feel some of the pressure is off, and maybe can start to enjoy it again.

If there's no standard format you are free to do as you like. If you've looked at others' theses, why don't you pick one you like the look of and model your thesis on that? Once you've decided on a structure it will be much easier to write.

Oh god I am stuck in this merry hell at the mo too- trying to get first draft done by Sept whilst also running a company, and at the moment feeling like I have no strong enough 'carrot' to get me though this hard bit. Why am I doing a PhD again?

Can some of you who have finished say some more encouraging things please about the pleasure you got from completing?

I started write about this but had to delete as it all made me sound so conceited and elitist. It gives a great sense of achievement and has made me more confident in my intellectual abilities. There's no doubt that professionals treat you with more respect.

I agree that writing up is horrible, but you've come so far to through all the research away!
TBH, I just got to the stage where I thought fuck it, it doesn't even have to be that good, no-one's ever going to read it, who cares? And that actually took the pressure off to produce an amazing thesis and I could just focus on writing something.

I also went to a course run by the Uni- something like 'Preparing for your viva' while I was still writing up and that really helped too... talking about the outcomes of a viva made me realise that even if the examiners thought it was really shit, they would probably give a year to re-submit and at least, you can then have their detailed comments as to what to improve. So that helped to take the pressure off too.
And at the end of the day, you get to call yourself Dr....

Just read through some theses and you'll realise that it isn't unattainable. Most of them are unremarkable.

Crystal I would really like to hear people talking about their work and the pleasure they got from achieving PhD status. I think part of the problem is that as women we are concerned about appearing conceited and elitist when we've actually earned a considerable achievement - which means that for those of us trying to imagine what that (success) would look/feel like, there's not much modelling going on. Be as elitist as you like, you clearly deserve it having put in the work.

I have never met anyone who (openly) thinks I am conceited and elitist. The only place I have come across this opinion is Mumsnet threads complaining about people who dare to use their proper title. In real life everyone that finds out is impressed. And why wouldn't they be? Only jealousy or ignorance would stop someone being impressed by such a great achievement.

I am VERY glad I got through mine. It really is something that you can keep forever on your list of 'things I have done with my life'. That sounds weird, but in life's low moments in really does help.

This final stage really is the hardest for a lot of people because it is so isolating. Nobody gets how hard and pointless is seems, even if they have done it themselves. Often even your advisor has better things to do - exciting projects just beginning with new students etc. But it is SO worth it. Keep going everyone!

Oh, and just to add, you are making progress when you write. I wrote my thesis with each chapter as a separate word document and put them together at the end. Right until the moment when I turned the final document into a pdf for printing, I never felt like I'd got very far. Once when my DH asked me how I was going, I said I'd done 'a bit' and he opened my computer and showed me that actually I'd done 6 out of 8 chapters, which was significantly more than 'a bit'

I think the problem was that the things I still had on the 'to do' list seemed endless, and once they were done they just dropped off the list and disappeared. There was no 'already done' list that I could see getting longer! So if you think it would help, write an 'already done' list and stick it on the wall next to your computer.

Yes, Mockingjay, it's the mumsnet threads i was thinking of. Nobody has said anything in real life although I'm careful about who I talk to about it as I don't want to come across as a cleverclogs. I've found that medics on the whole treat me with respect as they are not usually as well academically qualified as me. I have on occasion pulled people up when they've told me I don't know what I'm talking about (when it's my specialist subject) but because I have achieved the highest academic qualification I am perfectly happy and confident enough to admit ignorance in a lot of other things as I have nothing to prove.

Gaining a Phd is probably the proudest academic moment of my life (not counting my own dd's phd achievement-I know I acted as a role model)

Writing this doesn't come easily to me as I'm sure someone out there is going to take me to task as everyone's achievements should be celebrated.

That thread was puzzling crystalglasses. Obviously anyone swanning about family barbecues demanding people call them 'Dr X' would be social idiots, but I have never met such a person! I never start a conversation with 'I have a PhD' (!) but it does come up sometimes when people ask what more in depth questions about what you do. I'm 27 and look younger, so people often tell me I'll be able to 'try for' a masters soon, at which point DH usually gets in first

Well done to you and your DD for her PhD, that would've been a truly great moment! Do you get to talk with your DD about writing up your own PhD? I'm sure she would sympathise!

I don't understand which part is puzzling. Of course I never go around saying I have a phd - that's exactly what I was getting at in my previous posts.

On a couple of occasions I've had conversations with people who've said I'm talking rubbish, when clearly I must know something about it as it was the subject of my thesis, and so I remind them of that. But I have to be very provoked before I do that.

Sorry crystalglasses! I meant the particular thread a while back about people using the Dr titles was puzzling, not your post... posters on that thread seemed to be objecting to people introducing themselves socially as Dr X. As if anyone would/does! I didn't mean that you do it at all!

You definitely should correct people who say you're talking rubbish. I do this too sometimes. My PhD is in evolution, and of course everyone has an opinion about that! Makes for interesting conversations

Don't give up when the end is so close! I can only dream of being in your shoes, you are so nearly there. Keep going...even if you don't end up "using" your PhD nobody can ever take it away from you, it is something to be very proud of.

Hi Socy, don't give up, you've got so far. I've recently finished my accountancy course and now a qualified accountant. It took me 4 years with a child and obviously house to look after etc. There were loads of times when I broke down in tears and wanted to stop it all, but I just thought of the achievement at the end of it. It also makes me feel proud that I done this with a child and there were lots of people moaning on the course at how hard it was (no children). Keep going, you will get there ...... X

Just remeber that if it wasn't so hard lots of people would be doing it. Yo will be joining an exclusive club

Thanks for all the encouragement. I've been told to take a break but today I was 'in the zone' and spent a very pleasant time trying to sort out some of my thinking - it's amazing how much fun it can be when the pressure is off a bit!

I guess when you're doing the PhD and colleagues are either doing the same or are academics and professors a PhD seems like peanuts. Like DS2 said when DD had her GCSE choices to make - who cares - it's A levels that are important!
Mockingjay - when you said your PhD is in evolution I thought you meant you were still writing it