Does breastfeeding make bubbas clingy?!

[Mjtay]

My DD is just over 4 months old. She's an angel where she's not attached to me 24 7. She will entertain herself and play in her swing/ jumparoo. But when she's tired or hungry only mum will do! And sometimes she wont sit with other ppl atall. She's recently built a lovely bond with dad, but I had to come home after 10 mins being with friends sat eve, cos he couldn't settle her atall when she woke. She was hysterical and sick!! Just wondering if breastfeeding contributes to this behaviour?! Making me worry about going back to work, as I may have to go back around 6 months. I have started to take DD over to bottles, 3 per day ATM. But if uve seen my other post, is causing harder than u imagined!! Just breaks my heart when she sees ppl and just cries. Even grandparents!! Ur opinions wanted pls! X x x

Haven't noticed any difference between bf and ff babies in terms of their clinginess - it's just a personality thing IME. DS1 has never been clingy and will go to anyone, DS2 much more clingy - both fed the same.

Can't advise on switching to bottles but hope things improve for you.

Thank u stitchingmoss. Im Hoping it's just a phase! X x

Agree with stitching - dd1 ff and was as a regular cuddle monkey so
Don't think feed methods affect it

Agree that it's unlikely to be down to bf. You are (at the moment) your baby's primary care giver, and therefore the centre of her world. That's why she cries for you all the time.

It will get better but maybe not overnight. My 3yo dd still 'clings' to me even though I've been back at work for 2 years! Just accept it and enjoy being the most important person in someone's life. In a few years (when she's a teenager) she will want to disown you!

And if your partner has trouble settling her when you honour, he probably just lacks confidence - you say you were only out 10 mins so he didn't try for long! Another couple of attempts and he will find his own ways to settle her without you.

Best of luck.

Honour? Should be 'go out'. Stupid fat fingers iPhone.

I don't think feeding methods affect it at all. I BF and my DS2 settles much better for DH than he does for me, but then DH tries for longer than 10 minutes!

Just keep her having contact with different people, and your DH needs to persevere with finding his own ways of settling her rather than just passing her over to you.

Hang in there, it will get easier.

Thank u!! I had to drive a distance and she woke just after I left. She was crying flat out for half hour before he rang. He asked what he should do and tried for a little longer before I said I would come home. She was still having a go when I got home. I guess I don't help cos I don't like leaving her to cry, so hubby feels my anxiety if he's trying to settle her when I'm there. So I just do it. I feel terrible cos now he's lacking confidence even more after that!! X x x

4 months is still tiny, I think what you're experiencing is normal. It's hard for the dads I think, my dp finds that.

She's clingy because she's tiny!

DP struggled to settle DD sometimes but practice makes perfect. It will come, I promise.

Thank u for ur comments! Guess I have a complex after my friend got her out of her swing when she had just woken up, and LO cried. My friend said 'what have u done to her!?' kinda makes u feel like uve done something wrong along the way. Forget she's still very young!! X x

I don't know where this idea comes from, that "good"babies are very sociable and can be passed around without making any fuss! Not having a go at you OP, but at your friend's comment!

I empathise, it's hard, you love the cuddles but need a bit of time for yourself as well. DS is almost 1 and not clingy now, but he did go through a clingy phase. Even now, 9 times our of 10 he will settle for DH, but if he's having an off day he only wants me, especially at night. I don't think it's BB or FF, I BF DS until he was 3 months old then switched to bottles. Don't listen to silly comments, it's nothing you do/don't do, your baby is going through a normal phase.

Ignore your friend you should have said " what have YOU done to her". I've never met a baby who enjoys being woken up and manhandled by someone they don't know well without getting upset, no wonder she cried when your friend picked her up.
Babies just are clingy at this age but it will get better, my DD (18 months) was barely out of my arms for the first 6 months now she'll go to anyone for a cuddle and I'm lucky if I get a look in :)

Never. Breast feeding makes a bond with mother and child. Kids who bond well with parents are the best at being self-sufficient later on because they have no 'abandonment' issues.

The reason your child is like this at this stage is because she's just realising you're two different people. Before the 4-5 month stage babies still think their mother is an extension of their own bodies. They don't realise you're 2 different people (how can they, right? you're always together and they're only babies). She's now developing, and she's actually now starting to develop her own personality and thoughts. Bang! She's just found out that her mother isn't part of her. If this is not enough, she's now realised that as a consequence, you can go away because you're separate. This scares her. Give her time.

I breast fed 3 kids. They were all like this around this age and they all got better. Don't worry. You feel worse about it than she does. If you'd stayed out for 20 minutes and given your husband a chance, he would've been able to calm he down. Give him a chance too. My boy used to be sick when he cried for me too. We love him to bits. He got over it. You're suffering the detachment more than she is. You may be projecting some of your feelings to her as well. Don't beat yourself up. We all do this and it's completely normal.