11 yr driving me mad -is this too young teenage strops?

[blossom123]

My darling boy has turned into a monster over night. Such rage, anger and agressiveness. He is driving me nuts, surely this is too young the hormones to have kicked in. I am finding myself getting so angry with him, this not good for my blood pressure.I sat him calmly down at the weekend after her another major outburst and he had good cry said he did not know why he was so upset. Please does someone out there have so idea for coping, getting shouty is so wrong and really not helping. Anyone else going though something similar, what do you do????? aaaggh thoughts please

It may not be hormones. Stress happens and, assuming 11yo means he's either Y6 preparing for SATs or he's in Y7 at a new secondary school, it's likely he's experiencing some pressure. Not all of them cope with it as well as others. At least he knows he's upset and in the wrong... if he was in true teenage mode it would be you in the wrong :)

I have an 11yo DS and it's quite difficult to get him to open up with the usual mum wheedles of 'is everything OK?'. Best way I've found is to engage him in 'boy stuff' - in his case I join him for some games on the Wii or we watch some old episodes of Dr Who and really geeky conversations about which monster would come off best in a fight. You get the picture. Once we're connecting at that level it often morphs into talking about more serious stuff.

Try reading Steve Biddulph's 'Raising Boys'. Very interesting.

My 11 year old dd has turned into the antichrist of late. Eye rolling, stropping, never being wrong. I'm so tired with it, I could quite happily lock her in her room. Sorry...I know that doesn't help, but hopefully it shows that this kind of thing does happen at this age (though I understand it's more common in girls). Good luck in riding it through.

Thanks for the comments. He will be 12 in April and very physically mature so think it probably is hormones, I need to keep calm. He was so lovely last night, clearing the table after dinner, lots of cuddles but as you say flapper is the antchrist other times. Cogito like your stategy. Star got that book somewhere, will dust off and have a read.

My 11 year old has started getting spots ffs. His 17 year old brother has only just started getting them!

And the 11 year old is also constantly doing the eye-rolling, and driving his older brothers mad by talking to his mates (and swearing volubly) on the X Box. He goes through cuddly phases, and demands attention then acts like Kevin the Teenager the next minute.

nine you did make me laugh, "Kevin the teenager". So glad it not just me, quite weird also because DS1 was a very late developer, I think he was 15 before acting like a mental patient. Glad you mentioned swearing DS language is appalling. We seem to going round in a cycle atm, one minute screaming and shouting, telling me how much he hates living here and being in the THIS family, gets sent to his room, smashing around, then comes the guitar playing then after bit sheepishly appears and wants a cuddle and good cry.I find it very hard to stay croos for long. Ah now I write it down I feel sorry for the poor little bugger. Oh and yes spots appearing.

Ah blossom so glad it's not just me, either. His older brothers are half brothers, and dad of my 11 yr old was Italian - I was just wondering if it was a genetic thing. I know that sounds wrong but... all my older sons were also late developers, as I was, as their dad was. But I remember the 11 yr old's dad (now estranged and I haven't seen him in years) saying he was taking girls back to his childhood bedroom in the family home, by age 16. Am dreading son being like that! (Not that he could as he has to share a room with a younger brother anyways!) My older sons joke he's only 11 and hormonal, but now I'm starting to think - maybe they're right? You sound like you're describing a teenager, too.

All 3 older sons were really 'good' teenagers and have barely had a mood or a strop between them. So this is new to me even though he's my 4th son.

I'm reading 'Get Out of My Life .. But First Take Me and Alex into Town' by Tom Wolf and Suzanne Franks. It's GREAT! It's about teenagers but really I think this sort of behaviour starts around 11.

I have a newly 12 year old boy and a 13 year old girl (as well as two younger boys.) Things are getting pretty heated around here!!!

Ah my boys have different dads, so there may be something in your theory. To be fair I think @ 11 they have an awful lot to contend with, DS2 has gone from a small village school to a largest comp, big changes. He is constantly challenging me but next week going out of his way to seek attention. Came home today with a bandage on his leg after a slight mishap @ school. absoulutely loving it. I actually think he would be really happy to break an arm so he could get more attention. God that a new thread in itself

Blossom, it sounds like your 11 yr old and mine could be brothers.

Mine still at primary school as he has a first week Sept birthday so just missed being in the school year above by a few days. He is worried about going to high school but also looking forward to it. He's the sporty, macho, popular kind of kid so I think he'll be fine. My older sons were nerdy and hated high school but he is just the sort to love it. It's interesting we both have experienced the moods along with the increase in demand for attention - I hadn't seen it very clearly so is really helpful to have had this discussion.

Mine is 12 in 2 weeks and hormones are raging. He's already physically going through changes. I need to remind myself to be more patient

DD2 isn't 11 for another month, but she does teenage moan and strop.
Unfortunately I can't blame hormones, she's been like that since she was about 6.

Mine was angelic for most of the time until about 6 months ago, so I'm praying it's hormones. If not, I'm getting payback for all the good times we had together

So let's have suggestions how to cope with these major strops. Any thoughts gratefully recieved, for my part I wish I had a DP with better parenting skills, I think a strong male role model would make a difference, mine just acts like a stroppy teeneager anyway and he is 45 but that is another story.