Baby and toddler sharing a bedroom?

[PaddingtonBearLondon]

DD2 is 13 weeks' old, sleeping in my bedroom and about to move from a moses' basket into a cot.

My 3 year old DD1 sleeps in a single bed in her own bedroom with the door closed. She doesn't like sleeping on her own and mentions it most nights when we put her to bed. I feel really sorry for her. She sleeps through most nights but sometimes wakes us up and I wonder if she's lonely.

When we visit friends and share a room DD1 sometimes gets over-excited the first night but is fine by night 2.

I think DD1 would really enjoy sharing her bedroom but as she can get out of her bed I'm worried that she's too young to share with a vulnerable baby. She might try to poke her, give her inappropriate toys which she could choke on or unintentionally smother her. During the day I don't yet leave them alone together for more than a minute; I'll take at least one of them with me if I need to do something in a different room. DD1 is very affectionate but often makes DD2 cry with her over-enthusiastic cuddles.

Also, I was hoping to breastfeed until about 8 months (going back to work at 9 months) and it's been nice doing night-feeds in my own bed. I'm not keen on the idea of going to DD1's bedroom for 2 feeds each night.

From what age do you think our baby would be safe with our toddler. What experiences have you all had?

No experience but planning to move my 13 week into his brothers bedroom. He's 2. I have the same concerns so will be interested to see what people say. know people do it so hopefully they will have some tips.

The reason I post is dont let the breast feeding thing put you off. Breast fed my first till15 months, also went back to work at 10months. he cut out the 10am feed, had milk from a cup in the afternoon (wouldnt take a bottle) and then i did morning and before bed. as soon as solids were established he went from 7 til 7 after waking up to three times in that time previously so hopefully from about 6 months you wouldnt need to go into them.

My main worry is them keeping each other awake chatting. the oldest goes down at seven but will often sit in his cot playing with his cuddlies for 20 minutes.

Have moved my 2nd into a cot in our room and will keep him there until he goes through as dont want him waking the other. if he took a 1030 dream feed it wouldnt be an issue but doesnt so have to wait for him to wake.

I kept DD2 with us in the room 'til about 9 months, then moved her in with DD1 who was then just over 3 years. From the first night she went in she slept all through the night from then on!

My DD was just gone 3 and my DS was 6 months when we moved them in together. In fact, I would have moved them in together as much as 4 months earlier if their bedroom and beds had been ready, and I breastfed for over a year. DD has always been quite sensible and trustworthy, so I never even considered she might do something like feed him buttons in the night when they were alone in the room. I also was fine leaving them alone together during the day for up to 10 minutes when I was at the other end of the house.

Maybe get used to having them interact more without you supervising directly (read a book in the corner or something and spy over top) and see how your daughter is with your little one. That might make you feel more comfortable with the situation and will also maybe let you see what pitfalls you might have to talk to DD1 about.

Thanks everyone, good suggestions.

I was thinking the same when dc2 is here, dd will be 1.5yrs. but will be keeping baby in with us for a fair few months i think

DS2 was about 8 mths when he moved from our bedroom into DS1's, who had just turned 2.

They have shared for nearly 18 mths now and absolutely love it - stay in their room and play for an hour in the morning now while we snooze !

Hmm, interesting. DS1 is 3.9yo and DS2 is 15months and we will be moving DS2 to DS1 room this weekend. We waited for that long because DS2?s sleeping pattern was inconsistent until few weeks ago. I am also worried that both might disturb each other?s sleep, but they will have to learn in the end.

I wouldn't move her yet as it will be far easier for you to keep her next to you for feeds but I wouldn't worry about moving her when she is a bit older/stopped feeding at night/you feel ready.

Mine share and have done for a while, never had a problem with it. They sleep through each other screaming/wetting the bed/being sick. Sometimes chat a bit before settling down but not really, ds is the eldest and usually falls asleep before his head hits the pillow. They don't tend to get out of their beds once in (obviously when dd was still in a cot she couldn't). We just all snuggle into one bed for stories then into their respective beds and off they go to sleep. When they were a bit smaller and dd was newly in a bed rather than cot we pushed the beds together and they shared, it was lovely :). We only moved them when trying to get the big one dry at night so that dd didn't get flooded if he wet teh bed.

DD1 has slept through DD2 waking me up when staying at a friend's house so I don't think that'll be a problem. I'm more worried about DD1 doing something silly like 'sharing' a toy that DD2 can choke on.