What paid help dp you have - except nannies

[quickchat]

Im expecting baby no 3. This has been an awful shock to be honest, i've sruggled with two for various reasons.

Im trying to think of ways to stay sane although we don't have alot of money.

What have you found helped from a cleaner to a childminder who does nursery/school runs?

I can't afford a nanny and I wouldn't have room to house an au pair.

Sorry I should say by the time I have this baby in August, My DS will start school at 5 and my DD will be 2.7 and start nursery the following January.

Student who can act as (old-fashioned!) "mother's help" for a few months around school runs - quite cheap, cash in hand sort of thing. Do you have a local university?

Cleaner works wonders even just an hour a week if you get a good one. Keeps your head clear.

And, dare I say it, the father of the children: a rota. Very cheap.

For the first six weeks when my children were born my db paid for a cleaner as a present " for the baby " When I had the twins , he paid for 12 weeks, which was a godsend tbh.

Thanks for that. I hadn't thought of a student.

I just had a friend around who is expecting her forth and she has been looking into au pairs...............Im sold!

Apparently £60 a week gets you 25 hours of help with kids, laundry and housework and best of all, they can even make the kids tea. Oh and 2 nights babysitting a week - I wouldn't know what to do with myself!

Im now thinking of putting the kids in one big room and giving the au pair the extra bedroom!

Just remember, having an au pair can also be like having another child. Some are great- others spend months in floods if tears, have no common sense and have never even picked up their own clothes off the floor before...

Find local college that does nursery nurse/ nanny training. Students there will be crb checked and will not want loads of hours. Ask for references obviously. Good experience for them, and not hugely expensive.

Alternatively advertise for mothers help via job centre (it is free and they pretty much do it all for you.) Be very specific for what you want. If you are lucky you may get lovely older lady looking for extra cash and not too many hours- we did and she had been with us for 3 years and is like one if the family.

I have a cleaner for 2 hours every other week for £20 which makes staying on top of housework easier, was supposed to give her up when DS was 2 months old but have refused to - she is lovely!

I had a cleaner when I was pregnant with our fourth child. She was only meant to be there till I got back on my feet.

She left when we moved four years later. She was the best thing in the world. Every week she left the house pristine and ironed all the clothes. In three hours.

Best money I've ever spent.

A cleaner is the best way to hang onto your sanity, imo. My beloved cleaner comes for three hours every week and does all the cleaning and ironing.
I would also heartily recommend on-line food shopping.

We have a cleaner for 2 hrs a week. It's £20 but means I don't have to look at a bathroom that hasn't been cleaned for a month and feel terrible about it. When we were small (I'm one of 3) in the 80s, my mum would get a childminder from the local college - some childcare student looking to earn some cash. We had some duffers but mostly they were pretty nice! I think the main thing is to not feel guilty about spending the money - if you have the cash you can't put a price on sanity and a happier mummy :)

Thanks everyone. Don't really have the cash.....but I don't feel guilty either .

Im not cut out for anymore than two kids so anything that will keep me sane and help me be a better mum instead of the grumpy one I think i will be - bring it on.

I never thought of having an au pair that would be more work than help, that would be awful.

If it was a cleaner I went for Id hope she'd do two bathrooms, hoover and mop and get all the ironing done!! Id probably need to pay for 5 hours a week.

I think my main fear is getting them all on the school run and nursery run, getting lunches on tables without looooosing it. I like the idea of Mothers Help and especially a sweet old lady i can abuse to help out a bit

Do you have a spare room?

When my mum started working, she let out her spare room to a lodger in exchange for child care. They picked us up from school and looked after us until 6pm when she came home. they were happy beause they didn't pay rent, we were happy because student was lovely to us, mum was happy because childcare was resolved.

sorry not suggesting you get child care but you could do a similar deal for help in the house perhaps