Grumpy pre-schooler morning and night

[c0vb1rd]

Hi my 3 year old dd is giving us a such a headache in the morning and evening going into meltdown and throwing tantrums. She is at pre-school with wraparound care so can have long days. We have set routines morning and night and we reinforce these every day but still wants to make it as difficult as possible to the point were we have to walk out of the room which in turn makes it worse. Evening routine is toilet, brushteeth, bath, bedtime
song and bed. Morning milk, toilet, brush teeth, wash & get dressed out the door for school. Any wise advice would be appreciated. Thanks

What time does she go to bed?

Do you have to wake her in morning or does she wake up naturally?

Reward chart? You could write/draw it together at the weekend. "When you wake up in the mormning, what do you need to do first?". "And then after you've had your milk?" etc etc. Once you've got your chart, you can explain that she will get a sticker for doing each thing and then when she has x stickers, she can have a reward. I tried something like this with my little one and it did work - just don't make it too hard (or too easy) to get the reward. You can keep referring to the cahert as you're getting ready "right, you've brushed your teeth. What's next... do we need to look at the chart?".

My other suggestion is to slighly extend the bedtime routine so it doesn't feel so rushed... maybe a story in bed could be on offer if dd has done all the other things without tantrums or arguments?

Hi bedtime starts at 6 normally in bed by 6.30. Wakeup is 7 out the door by 7.50. We have a reward chart but have never used it for breaking down tasks as you have mentioned so this sounds like a plan thank you for the tip

Wake up is mixed sometimes we get up and other time she's up herself

It sounds likes she's getting enough sleep.

Is she enjoying pre-school?

Is wraparound care a child minder after pre-school?

How long is her day?

Yes she does get enough sleep IF she doesn't get up to go toilet ; her day at school starts at 8 - 5 mon - wed. 8 - 3 thurs. 8 - 11.30 fri.

You say she has morning milk. When does she have her breakfast?

Yes she seems to love pre-school and the additional care around it as its attached to the school. So much so she wonders why I pick her up early on a Friday lol

She has breakfast at school in her wraparound care.

On the face of it, sounds like she should be getting enough sleep.

Do try and consider adding in a story, even if only as a reward for good behaviour - I think your daughter is more likely to drop off to into settled sleep quickly if she feels nice and happy and relaxed - your bedtime sounds a tiny bit rushed (to me). Hopefully, if her behaviour improves, what you "lose" in time spent telling a story should be made up by less time spent dealing with tantrums. Also, it's just nice to have a little extra "quality time" with dd if she hasn't seen that much of you all day.

There's a book called "Positive Disclipline for PreScahoolers" which has lots of ideas for dealing with tantrums etc. For example, distraction - if she's throws a tantrum just as you are about to leave, give her a little job to do: "Could you carry my handbag to the car for me, please?". And telling children in advance what is expected of them: "Ok, if you do everything on your chart without making a fuss, the you can have a nice story once you're in bed".

I asked about breakfast because if she doesn't get it until she's at pre school she could be very hungry. Hunger always used to make my DDs grumpy.

Posted before I saw your answer. Would it be possible for her to have a banana or a piece of toast with her morning milk. I presume she has tea about 5. 30. So that means she is not getting for over 14 hours. That seems a very long time for a 3 year old to me.

Yeah we could try giving her something when she wakes its a good point

Good point mumeeee - def worth a try.