Can I ask for my HV to stop coming round?

[Flowerydems]

This is mainly since I filled out that PND questionnaire and she thinks I have it and now feels I need extra visits.

I know I have been a bit PND-esque (and I have the posts on here to prove it) but I feel like my house is being invaded every fortnight. I'd actually been getting a lot better until she decided to tell me this and then spent the whole afternoon crying, and I'm now quite scared to be around the baby in case she's right, a feeling I had never had until this point. I'm quite happy to go the the baby clinic as often as she feels necessary to make it clear I'm not restricting my child's development with my 'depression', but seeing as she already feels he's progressing well I don't see why I should.

So has anyone asked for them to stop coming round in a case like this?

She's honestly making me feel like I'm being monitored and I'm not a bad mum, I'm quite proud of how well I've been doing considering we moved the week he was born, sadly still have 2 rents to pay cause DH got a new job so we had to move quickly, don't know anyone apart from the in laws here and haven't had anyone but them to talk to, DS has a talipes which needs to be treated and a few other minor ailments which keep cropping up like a rash. So in the circumstances I was being honest with the survey, which I now massively regret but I don't see how I could be dancing on the freaking roof at this point.

(Sorry for that rant)

I don't think you can ask her to stop, as she may see this as you obstructing. however maybe you could say something like, you really want to get out and about more and need excuses to do this so could you visit her at the clinic?

Do they do baby groups the hv attends in your area? Maybe say you want to attend these to make new friends?

Yeah I know, I just don't know what to do but I did think offering to go down there would be the best idea like. Just feel like I'm a terrible mother now that she feels she needs to constantly check up on me you know?? But I do know deep down that I'm not.

They don't do groups like that but I'm going to a baby group with my DHs Auntie tomorrow, so hopefully she'll see this as progress.

But I just don't know what I need to prove to her, just so upset that she's making out I've got full blown PND and need to be checked on to make sure the baby's developing alright when she knows he is. Just feel so upset about it. If I did have PND I would have been pushed over the edge by this.

Just tell her you are feeling much better now and you will contact her if you feel down again - learn to say NO

She is there to support you not to make you feel worse. You could explain honestly how it is making you feel and that you value the support but would find it more helpful if it was less intrusive I.e... As you said to go to the clinic? Make her feel helpful whilst getting you point across

I can't stand mine. She is totally patronising and contradicts herself regularly! Agree with previous point - assert yourself! And you are bound to have LOW MOOD (a symptom of depression) given the circumstances you describe!!

If you can anyways - get yourself to aurestart and do some classes...