I'm a 'bad' mum....

[HouseworkProcrastinator]

While discussing controlled crying on an other thread it has got me thinking about how we are expected to raise our children...

I had an epidural on my first ( home birth on second... Am I redeemed?)
I did not carry my children round on my hip for two years
I left my kids to cry themselves to sleep, apparently that is now meant to be detrimental to the child.
I fed them with a spoon what I wanted them to eat, no baby led weening in my house.
I use time out ( which initially was praised as a better alternative to smacking), but this is meant to make a child feel bad or isolated or something like that
I punish bad behaviour, I think now we are meant to be mind readers and distract the child before they are naughty
I tell my child when something they do is not correct instead of just praising the efforts and ignore the mistakes
I let my 5 year old play in the street
I don't cuddle and reassure when they have tantrums
I do not play with my children all day long
I don't home school, infact I enjoy the peace and quiet
I allow them to watch tv when home from school and not just educational stuff that will teach another language, Maths or science.

I love my children dearly but all these things I have seen on mumsnet or in the news or researched or on documentarys as bad parenting. I am not in anyway slating others who don't do the same as me but am a bit sick of the guilt put on mums if thy do not dedicate every waking second to running round pandering to their child's every want. Any one else out there as 'bad' as me?

Everyone could say the same about instincts, I think we all just feel criticised! Everywhere I look I see advice about controlled crying, rods for backs etc when it is completely against my instinct. Difficult one!

And that is fine if it works for you and it's what you feel comfortable with. No one should tell you your wrong. And I'm guessing you won't still be cuddling them to sleep when their are 30 :)

I think also that different people have their own limits to what they can take. When it comes to babies crying some can't stand to hear it while others can block it out ( I find men are very good at this ) I think I am somewhere in the middle.
But I am very intolerant of bad behaviour ( probably to the point of expecting too much of mine) so when people say things like "pick your battles" I just can't. Even if it is really good advice :)
And others are natural mothers who enjoy every second they spend with their kids, others who love theirs just as much have to work at it and don't enjoy everything about it.... there was someone (can't remember who) critisised for writing in the paper that her toddler bored her.

We are all different not wrong.

Housework - I'm with you, however, I can make you feel better by adding another to that list - I smacked my children when they were small (gasp) no I didn't abuse them or whip or beat them. I just gave them a tap on the bum when they were out of line. Do I feel guilty? No, not at all. Do I wished I'd used these 'new' methods? No. It's got alot to do with the way we are raised - I get sick and tired of hearing about the meddling Government telling parents how to raise kids. If it was in order to try and reduce child abuse it didn't work, but it did put the fear of God into 95% of the population that they overnight became abusive parents if they smacked their children. I also 'put' my kids out to play from very young, just as my Mum/Aunties did before. They learn to be sensible and understand the world around them alot quicker - namby pamby parenting (how do you spell that?!) does not do anyone any favours. Especially our wider society.