Job training. I need your help.

[kidstartjames]

I'm pretty sure this is the appropriate place to post this, so here goes...

I joined my company a couple of months ago. Our audience are parents. My boss was bothered by my age and the fact that I have no experience caring for children and being the 'wacky' kind of guy that he is, he's making both myself and one of my colleagues (who is also a similar age) look after a RealCare baby (the sort they give to kids in schools to give them an idea about what it is like to look after a real baby) for 5 days..

The 'baby' records our performance with an internal computer. I'm not going to lose my job if I really mess-up, but I don't want to look like a complete idiot either by failing completely.

• I'm in 'competition' with Johanna, my colleague and I think she'll do really well.

I know it's not a real baby, but I'm daunted.

Where do I start?!

Get a sling (or a towel/scarf/any old thing you can tie it to you with) and carry it about in that all the time. I don't know much about them but I'm assuming you'll get points for carrying it, and you could just put it on your back (in a native indian kind of way...)

Like a papoose or something? That's not a bad idea. Fairly unobtrusive. Whatever I do though, I'm going to look a sight on the tube with my suit and a papoose with a crying plastic baby in it. Oh my.......

Personally I would tell your Wacky Boss that reading Mumsnet solidly for several weeks will give you a much better overview of parenting in all its stages, not just a baby (act like only an idiot would think looking after a baby was all there was to parenting) and so you would like to hand the doll back in favour of a cuppa, a biscuit and a fantastic read. I would start with Mumsnet Classics, probably the penguin one.

If it's meant to be a newborn, it will need 'feeding' very often, but probably not in a very regular pattern. It may wish to be awake for long periods of the night, at which point I suggest you take the option we all would if we could, and take the batteries out :)

Can't take the batteries out. I think the whole exercise is meant to be a little bit tongue-in-cheek. Maybe the idea is that Jo & I are so completely used to our time being our time. I never had anything preventing me from going out when I like, or sleeping-in - bar my job and resources.

I kind of get it if he's trying to get you to think like a parent, but keeping you awake all night for a week feels like a bit of an intrusive way of trying to teach you that lesson?!? Do you have to 'feed' the thing?? You could get one of those electronic swing things (could probably borrow one or get one off Freecycle??) and shove it in that all night? Reading some parenting books is a good idea though if you're feeling super keen - I liked Toddler Taming, Diary Of A Yummy Mummy (hated the title but it was quite a good book) and The Baby Whisperer (not read the Mumsnet Rules but reckon that would be a good bet too...) And have a browse about on here too. Completely agree with everything tribpot says, my kids are 3 and 4 and the challenges that come with that are a world away from dealing with that...

The other thing I'd wonder is how you are meant to apply this 'learning' (for which I imagine you are not getting paid - just like real parents [bgrin] but also [bhmm]) to your work. Trust me, nothing will piss off parents more than you saying "oh yeah, that was exactly how it was for me with my electronic pretend baby" or "d'you know what, I was knackered after five days, so guess what I did? I handed it back ".

I can see how it might be useful to scare the crap out of educate teenagers that babies aren't cute accessories conveniently not impeding on real life, a la Rachel's baby on Friends but you are quite old enough to know that isn't the case. This just seems like a daft and time-consuming game designed to keep your pillock of a boss amused. And part of me wonders if he would have done this if you weren't both women.

To mis-quote Dirty Dancing I would put baby in the corner. And then tell your boss to get knotted.

Actually scrap that, I think you're a guy? Still a stupid idea.

I am a guy.

I think the idea is that I get woken up many times in the night and my free time gets completely taken-over for a few days. It's a sample of some of the stereotypical aspects of caring for a newborn. I don't think anyone would present it as a truly equal experience to caring for a real child.

I've reported your post as I think this represents advertising. Sorry.

is he giving you paternity leave?