IT;S A PHASE, RIGHT? THIS THING WHERE THEY TAKE EVERYTHING FROM AROUND THE HOUSE AND PILE IT ALL UP SOMEWHERE ELSE?

[tyaca]

THE MESS IS HURTING MY HEAD SO MUCH.

SHOULD I BE JUST REALLY STRICT ABOUT IT? NOT MY STYLE AND THEY ARE JUST PLAYING, BUT REALLT IT IS BONKERS AND STARTING TO JUST UPSET ME SO MUCH. ALL I DO IS TIDY AND PICK UP. PLEASE DON'T TELL ME TO GET THEM TO DO IT THEMSELVES CAUSE OBS THEY SHOULD AND OBS THEY DO A BIT BUT IT WOULD TAKE THEM 5 HRS TO TIDY THE MESS THEY CREATE IN 3 MIN.

THEY ARE ALSO HYSTERICAL ALL THE TIME AND I JUST FEEL SO LOW.

I think the only response to this is you either make them help you or you spend the next 18 years cleaning up after them choice is yours.

It may take longer to get things clean but best way in the long run.

Not way you wanted to hear I know but I doubt there is another solution.

STOP SHOUTING

set a stopwatch for 15 mins and get them to clear it up themselves

make it fun

how old are they?

What ages are they?, I know my 2 year old loves gathering things together but although my 5 year old did it as a toddler she hasn't done it in a long time.

Might be a phase might be a long one. DS about 3 started lining up toys around room, up stairs, into own room. This is a parade and not to be put away!! The parade consists of toy people, cars galore, animals, stretches of just lego blocks... In the end came to conclusion not really harming anyone (only allowed one item on each stair) so is allowed it for a couple of days at a time because he will go back to it. Four years on ....

noexcuses, that's quite a lot like ds. he gets every single cushion and duvet etc and makes some kind of castle/ train/ tractor whatever. then he finds every toy car and puts it around. then he gets some laundry and tucks it in somewhere. maybe a spoon next, then a crazyon. empties a puzzle box, puzzle everywhere but box added to big thing he has made. he is 2.7 btw. he gets very upset when you move stuff. yesterday he had filled a couple of laundry baskets with various toys and just left them in bathroom. i put everything away, but later than day they were back, same toys in same baskets in same place ;-(

dd is 3.11, joins in but nowhere near his league.

i need strategies. the mess really upsets me. i'm a very messy person myself and really struggle with all the extra stuff having kids means i have in the house.

we do tidy up before bed, then they're allowed a tv programme before bath. we usually get to square before they go to bed. but that's only cause i spend so much time in day trying to keep a lid on it.

i need some rules, don't i? but the idea of spending all day enforcing them depresses the life out of me. i think i would rather tidy up than tell him off all the time. and that's what it would be cause i feel like i tell him off all the time as it is. and really want to let him play whatever silly game it is that he's playing.

Go out more. This all matters much less in the park.

15 min timer is very achievable too. If they clean, I clean with them too, and then ooh and ahh afterwards about what a great job they've done.

Mine spent months a while ago playing at gathering treasure or something together, they were around 2 and a half and 4 and a half. They would empty one of our huge tubs of duplo, sometimes a tub each then fill them with "treasure". The treasure would be random toys from every toher toy box in the house, my silicone bun cases snaffled from the baking cupboard, some hats and gloves, books, clothes pegs...anything they could get their hands on so not only did we then have the tubs to sort out at the end of the day but the floor would be covered in duplo. The craze seemed to pass eventually and I was quite grateful that they were playing together!

footprints, being indoors is a very large part of our problem. i can't wait for weather to get better. dd does afternoons at preschools and i need her fed and out by 12, so quite a struggle to do something in the morning. in september we were taking sarnies with us and getting out a bit more.

indith - there is a lot of treasure playing in our house. for ages we had a pirate ship box in hall, but that has now morphed into a billy goat gruff bridge . they are really sweet, such good friends, but sometimes i just think my head is going to explode when i see all the teeny tiny things everywhere, and the big things too of course...

thanks all for listening to my rant. partic the shouty mental bit at the start.

... have you considered the chip shop...?

I've been known to get a big bag of chips for lunch. Chip shop chips, tell them to hold the salt on the kids (shared portion) and it's not too much of a disaster nutritionally - and certainly keeps you warm eaten on a park bench.

I'm a veteran of many 'lost' days rocking gently hanging out by the swings when mine were toddlers.

Also SureStart do quite good stuff - but i find mostly in the afternoons. But a good playgroup can really help to build an out-of-the house day.

If all else fails, do you have a shopping centre near you? The one near me is very toddler friendly - wide 'corridors', obviously no traffic, magic door-opening buttons, a lot of space - and always warm and dry. Tends to be deserted in the mornings, so OK to let a toddler run around like a loony. No need to spend anything - bar maybe a restorative starbucks for you.

tyaca Cabin fever as a parent can be hard. To be honest I'm not sure you do need rules. They're playing and not demanding you entertain them. You said they help tidy before bed that's brilliant at that age.

I remember a HV telling me that they note if someone has a perfect tidy house - as a not so good thing. I was mid-apology for mess, clutter, dog hair etc.