World of Warcraft - mysterious 20 year old in DS's guild. DS is 12

[Quattrocento]

DS does something called World of Warcraft, which seems to involve things like feeding grapes to monks, battling his way out of dungeons and having a dragon, We limit the amount of time he plays.

There is a guild or tribe or something, of fellow Wowers, all of which are from his school (or so I thought). They skype while they are playing this game, so I can hear what is going on. Anyhow I overheard DS asking one of his guild whether or not he enjoyed being a nurse. This worried me, and it transpires that a 20 yo male nurse has joined DS's guild. DS and all his friends know him well, he's been playing with them for months, apparently.

So tell me why a 20 year old man would want to join a guild full of 12 year old boys? Am I being over-protective here?

My DP's family (including his dad and sister!) play on and off and after countless family meals listening to Wow chat I can tell you there won't be any harm in it. All players want a guild as they get rewards for it and my DP's guild has a range of ages from 11 to 70! You hear them on Skype it's just bizarre. Guilds get bigger quickly because of the rewards so it may have started as his friends but people ask to join as they want people to do quests with etc. There are a range of nationalities and ages and when you join a guild you wouldn't know who or how old the people are in it. You tend to chat on screen typing before you Skype so again, it's pure luck who's in the guild. I wouldn't worry it's the nature of the game and actually from what I've seen it's good to teach them about different nationalities and working as a team.

HTH and hope he's not always glued to it like my DP!! Sigh.

You often cannot tell the age of players on WoW unless they disclose it to you, as a player myself I wouldn't find the idea of being in a guild with young teens at the age of 20 disturbing unless there were other red flags.

It has a 12+ rating but really you should monitor their gameplay if you have concerns about them as it is a MMO, which means massive multiplayer online, you need to educate your child in online safety.

I am sure there are ways of safety proofing the game and reducing interaction, but I don't know them myself. If your child is playing a game and you are worried about it, you need to educate yourself on how to protect them, or stop them playing the game.

Hope this helps.

It is a very popular game amongst adults on the spectrum as well, my DS plays it and he's 17. He'll probably still be playing when he's 20.
Just monitor what your DS is doing on the internet and make sure he knows all the safety rules.

I'm so pleased that some of the gamers are awake before the 'He's a paedo' mob crawl out of their dens and start shrieking.
They will be along no doubt, but at least the OP has heard a little of how WOW actually works and why a man might play in a guild of mixed ages.

I've been playing it since I was 24 years old and I am nearly 30 now, and I've had friends in the game ranging up into their fifties and sixties. There really is a very wide mix of people, not all of them are nice either, your DS needs to be aware of internet safety, like not handing out passwords or giving away personal information, you can definitely switch a profanity filter on and you can have an ultimate say about who he is friends with on there by monitoring it.

Whether or not you want him playing with strangers who may be older than him or not is up to you, if it were my child I would have some rules about them doing dungeons with a PuG (pick up group), using voice chat features, joining guilds, being friends with and general gameplay times and such. I'd rather the game was played in family areas, not away in a room unsupervised, and I'd not allow sound function nor microphone unless I was around to keep an ear on things. I wouldn't allow him to play after certain times, as it's more likely to get adult the later it is in my experience. I'd want to speak to the guild leader if he was joining a raiding guild, for reassurance that it was a good guild that took into account his age and appropriate expectations and language. I'd ban PuGs if I wanted to keep him away from strangers, and encourage him to play with friends, however, the only way you can guarantee they are the same age as him is for him to play with people he knows IRL, because as I said previously, there is no way of knowing how old someone is on WoW unless they tell you.

What useful and informed advice.
Let's hope OP takes note.

Thanks lots for all your advice

See - I was being overprotective! You've really helped to reassure me.

I played WOW until quite recently and I'm in my mid 30s. I was by far the oldest in my guild. Like others have said you don't know the age of people unless they tell you. I was invited to join the guild (you have to be invited) and accepted as it looked like a good guild. We would do dungeons, etc together to get through them as there are many quests and most dungeons where you need to be in a group to be able to do them.

Yes sadly plenty of grown people indulge in the faerie land

Have you looked at the real world recently, Hully?
There's more hope in WOW.

I don't think it's sad at all Hully, I find it fun to play games like this. Although I don't have time to play WoW so much now I am in a relationship, it made the long evenings on my own as a single mum more interesting.

I'd take faerie, medieval scenarios and the supernatural over every soap, celebfestand reality show going anytime.
Sadly I am alone in my staffroom in that respect.

Sorry, I posted without thinking.

I don't even really mean it (well I do a bit, but I'm prepared to admit I may be prejudiced).

Do you know someone who plays it who you dislike? I have a lot of friends who if you mention it hate it and it's usually because someone they know plays it to the point of it being an addiction.

I don't know anyone who plays it, other than DS and his chums. So I don't have any preconceptions, but was just a bit worried about this older man.

In fairness I do and will continue to restrict DS's WOW time simply because he could do it to excess.

Hi there, first ever posting! My 19 year old son has just arrived back from Uni after one year of a course,having failed due to Warcraft! It is highly addictive, and even though he reached the highest level, he now admits, now he home that he missed 30% of lectures and 3 out of 5 assignments due to the game. He had now deleted it from his laptop and has support from other local friends, who also realise their problem. He told us (parents) that he doesnt feel like he has "achieved" anything since taking GCSE's (he started warcraft around the age of 14) - He is now starting his life over again, volunteering at a charity shop, getting out on his bike, and has had his hair cut! Hoping that our new Son is here to stay ! x

I am 25 and have played since I was 19. One of my guilds was a family guild filled with folks from 11-50+. We had rules about no swearing in guild chat if we knew under 16's were on or before 11pm, etc.

Lots of other useful posts here just wanted to add my personal experience

I am 37 and play wow we have kids to grannies in our guild, have also the swearing rule and will kick people out of the guild if caught

My partner doesn't play WoW, but plays plenty of other MMO's. He has helped out the under 16's a fair bit, and has never witnessed any other members of his group being inappropriate towards them. The ages range from early teens, and many between 30-45.

I agree with the monitoring it safely and teaching kids online safety though. At least with teamspeak you can hear what is being discussed rather than wondering what he is typing!
I think everyone knows there is an addictive quality to MMO's, and knows someone that has let it engulf their lives. But there are a lot more people that just play it leisurely :)

Just wanted to add to the reassuring voices upthread. I've been playing for years, been in multiple guilds & some do have varied membership.

I would agree though on monitoring gameplay, the game may be 12+, but lots of people older do play, and language and ideas are not censored as such and people can get very stroppy if the game doesn't go their own way.

Actually basically what GrownUp2012 said

(Slight hijack - is there a corner of mumsnet I've not found where wow is discussed? I don't mention it in real life mostly because I'd get faces with a side order of Hullygully )

my DH plays and he is 39! he just plays to chill out in the evenings as an alternative to reading or watching tv.

He joins groups with players of all ages, he doesn't care as long as they play well, a 20yo on wow is not unusual. The skype-ing is weird though, wouldn't a 20yo be bored chatting to a group of 12yo boys?

But I would second the above poster who said about teaching your son onllne safety and keeping computers with internet access in family areas rather than in bedrooms. There are plenty weirdos on the net!

excuse awful punctuation, one hand typing - other holding squirming DD!