Passing on a language you're not 100% confident in yourself

[BumbleBee2011]

I'm bilingual French/English, my family left France when I was young and my parents insisted we spoke French at home. Now I have a DD and want to do the same thing, but I've spent most of my adult life speaking English so it feels weird speaking French to her.

Anyone have any tips for this situation? Have bought some story books/ toys from France to try and French-up the house, but other ideas would be welcome :)

BTW DH just speaks English, but is keen to learn French too.

I am a non-native French speaker using only french with my daughters - not exactly your situation, but some similarities.

One - create a "French environment." All stories that you read to them - French. Music you listen to in children's presence - French. EVERYTHING you say to them - French. Everything they watch on TV when you are looking after them - French. You get the gist. This not only makes speaking French a normal thing, but also helps fill in the gaps where you are weaker.

Two - if you are starting from birth, your child is a passive for recipient and probably will be for at least a year. That's a whole year you've got to get yourself up to speed. You can also check anything you want to say before you say it, especially as the things you need to say to an under-one are quite limited in scope.

Three - remember it's a numbers game. If you get it right nine times and wrong one time, she will remember the right version. It's only as they get older and consciously imitate you (age about 3 onwards) that you can find them honing in on your rare mistakes or inconsistencies.

BTW realise you won't make the same mistakes as me, but you will probably find that you don't have the vocab in some areas because it's changed; lots of bilingual kids who grow up abroad end up speaking like they are from the same generation as their parents!

Thanks that's all very good advice - you're absolutely right about the vocabulary, I feel like mine is stuck in the eighties! Interestingly I find that Facebook is a real help as my cousins are on there and all use slang and text-speak among themselves.

We recently got Sky so I'm going to have to start having French telly on in the background, I've started singing French lullabies to her as well. I realised at Christmas I actually don't know any carols in French, so going to have to brush up before December!

I wouldn't worry about speaking like you are from the 80s or 90s. I certainly am stuck in a time loop. Even if you live in France. You don't use the same vocab as your parents. Neither will your LO the same as you. What she is missing is peers who are French speakers. It is kind of inevitable for any expat. What you are giving to your LO as a bilingual is the ability to communicate in French comfortably. (There are developmental advantages to be bilingual too). If she decides to live in France when she grew up, she will be able to pick up the current vocab of her peer group easily.

You are right one, my little sister was 3 when we left and she now lives in France, she now speaks far more fluently than me despite being the siblng we thought would have the most trouble speaking French. She is certainly testament to the fact that bilingualism gives children a choice in life (not to mention better job prospects), imagine if my parents hadn't bothered with us!

I suppose if I can give my LO a basic education she can go to France and fill in those gaps in later, just like her auntie did.

Bumble

Where do you live? In London ("la septieme ville de France") there are playgroups, Saturday schools, weekday schools, a library, bookshops ... Less of this sort of stuff in other places but it's still worth looking. This can go some way to providing the contact with peers that OLBG rightly identifies as a gap.

No, don't live in London, that would've been useful! I do look out for French people, but there aren't many where I live in Yorkshire :)

We're going to France in June and I've already warned DH we're bringing home a library's worth of books! Also quite fancy getting the Tintin DVDs in French.

I think this is a great idea but you are going to have to be very determined and consistent.

I agree with MIFLAW.

Only French from now on. Speak French, read French, listen to French CDs, radio, spoken word DCs in the car, tune in you internet radio to French stations, French TV.

You can order loads of French books from Amazon.co.uk or from Amazon.fr for a wider selection and slightly higher postage. Your local library might have a French section in the children's library.

You need to make French completely normal for you, normal for your DC.

I speak our minority language (which happens to be English, we live in France) at all times, to the point that the DC regularly express surprise when they hear me speaking French (in shops, at the doctors). My DC did not even know French telly existed until they started school and went to their friends' houses as we only have English DVDs in our home. (That has caused some raised eyebrows when French kids come round and there is actually no DVD they can understand. Not one.)

I read somewhere that the best situation for raising bilingual children is where there is:
-- Quantity (of exposure to the minority language)
-- Consistency (don't switch, don't mix. Even though there are some MNers like Cory who have successfully raised bilingual kids without a consistent language pattn, in your situation, I would not recommend anything but consistency)
-- Need. This is the most difficult one. Your kids can be exposed to French a lot and consistently but if they know on a very deep level that you speak perfect English, that their grandparents speak perfect English, tha they never need to speak French for essential commnication, then they may end up passive bilinguals (which is not the end of the world, still a pretty good outcome, but maybe not your objective). Creating "need" is tricky. But regular trips to France, French friends and family can help.

"Need" can also be falsely created by sneaky parents who offer unlimited telly watching / NINTENDO DS usage / Pokemon cards / whatever floats your DCs boat.....as long as it is in the minority language. I know of a Chinese mother in France who buys her son unlimited Mandarin Pokemon cards. But has never bought a French one. They need to speak / read / understand the language in order to access a pastime of their choosing. Sneaky, but effective.

My DC watch quite a lot of telly, but it is all DVDs of Sense and Sensibility, Little Women, The Secret Garden etc. They don't just get 2 hours of mindless claptrap like Mr. Men or Wibbly Pig. (Disclaimer: I am not that wicked. I do let them watch Fifi and the Flowertots and Maisie, but interspersed with language-rich programmes, too).

My mum (mid 70s) panicked a bit when we had DD1 because she was scared she would never be able to communicate with her (she speaks no French and she assumed DD1 would speak French first and more fluently than English.) so she decided to start learning French. I very nicely told her to cut it out! We are very close to my mum and I knew that a fab way to create "need" is to have a close relative who genuinely does not speak the majority language. The DCs skype Grandma everry Sunday afternoon and see her every holiday.

Bit of an essay there. Hope it makes some sense.

Good luck.

PS you will almost certainly need to supplement with a formal French programme to achieve true bilingualusm. There are many posts about this. You're lucky French is your minority language as there are lots of opps to do formal learning in French, unlike, say, Icelandic or Russian.

Maybe too early, but worth making a note for future reference. Il était une fois? l'Homme was one of my favourite TV programmes when I was little. You can still get it on DVD, you may want to consider adding it to your shopping list

Thanks Greythorne, I think need is a pretty easy one as my family in France don't speak English for the most part, and there is a whole army of them (including other little girls born in the last 2 years as well, future pen pals!) My mother as well will definitely only speak French to her so that's a plus, even if it will just be on Skype. I also like the "you can play what you like as long as it's French" tactic.

As far as formal schooling we did the CNED long distance learning when I was young, it was a pain (extra homework/lessons while our friends were out playing) but meant we were all literate in French, and learned our classics like other French kids. I'm very keen to inflict give my DD the same education.

Thanks Tinsie, I think I actually remember that show from my summer holidays, I shall pick it up. I really want to get things that I want to watch too, we're quite picky with telly (mostly watch BBC programmes, same with radio) so I can't abide the thought of surrounding ourselves with drivel just because it's French!

We also used to get a French newspaper that was written for kids, and delivered to addresses all over the world. Can't remember what it was called, but was very similar to Newsround in terms of content.

Any other recommendations of good programmes/books/radio stations would be appreciated, both for kids and grown-ups.

I have discovered the cours sainte-Anne which IMO are better than the CNED materials

Aww but that's the beauty of Il était une fois? l'Homme: it's interesting, educational and you may want to watch it too :-)

But it is only suitable for older kids...

Tinsie

What age group is Il etait une fois for?

Bumble

Re magazines etc, for v small children the Bayard range are good, Popi for 0-3, Pomme D'api for 2-5, etc ... All available by mail order and, though dear, sturdy enough to keep more or less intact for nos. 2 and 3!

I also found the Ecole des Loisirs book club good, though ordered one age range above her actual age so that stories would "last" a bit longer. If you are lucky to find a local French Saturday school or playgroup (and this site is a very good place to do so, perhaps you should post separately?) you will probably be able to get together for a group membership which saves on postage and is therefore cheaper.

It is true that commitment becomes more important for almost any minority activity outside of London and/or Edinburgh. That said, if you don't mind the effort, I bet there will be one or more Saturday schools and playgroups in York and/or Sheffield and/or Leeds ...

I imagine it's aimed at ages 5+

Check it out on YouTube: