Daily school run stress

[Oggy]

Virtually every morning the school run becomes a battle to get the children ready for school (they are YR and Y1). Every part of the process requires constant ranting from me and bickering between the two of them over the most ridiculous things. I do start by encouraging them to do things nicely but it invariably ends with me shouting at them to finish getting dressed, brush their teeth, finish their cereal, get their shoes and coats on etc, all with a backdrop of arguments over who has the most cereal, who sits where at the table, who gets into the car first - it really is ludicrous.

I have tried leaving more time to factor in the fannying around but they just extend the fannying around to fit whatever time is available. I have tried leaving less time so there is no fannying around time but then we just end up running late and I am even more stressed and shouty.

I end up sending them in to school feeling like I have nagged and shouted at them all morning and then come home and feel terrible that I have sent them off like that. I do give them a kiss and tell them I love them as they wander in but that feels a bit hollow after all the events of the morning.

Anyone got any tips to improve the situation, or any successful stress-free morning routines to share? Or is this just how it is when you have a 4 and 6 year old?

Thanks in advance to anyone who has any words of wisdom (or reassurance).

have put one of my checklists on profile as a pic to give you an idea what I am talking about

I sympathise. My two (7 and 3) Are prone to being a handful in the morning, too.

As a general rule, I try to have a very strict routine in the mornings that we dont deviate from. Breakfast cannot take longer than 15 mins. I set a timer and they know that when it goes off they have to shovel in the last mouthfuls and get up stairs. Sounds cruel, but they actually find it quite funny and it WORKS.k

I also get them doing different things at different times, so they arent together and tempted to arse around. So, DS gets dressed while DD washes face and cleans teeth in bathroom, then they swap etc. I make it a sort of race/competition, and whoever is ready and downstairs 10 mins before we are set to leave gets CBeebies for five mins.

Works a treat.

It looks like I am getting the whole routine wrong but the good news there is that it means there are things I can do to try and improve the situation!

I have the same as NeverKnowingly, and I have a list up with 4 actions they have to do in a morning.

1. Get dressed
2. Get breakfast
3. Brush teeth
4. Get in Mummy's school bus (I know, I know!)

It works, I refer them to it every now and again, and I give them incentives, like if we've got a spare few minutes you can play on the iPad or watch a cartoon.

I definitely have to shout sometimes, but it isn't too stressful a morning with them, mine are Reception age, Year 2 and a 2 year old to get out the door by about 7.10am every morning.

I like Chandons advice of getting them to do things separately, less opportunity for arguments!

DH's alarm goes off at 6.00 then again at 6.30 which tends to wake everybody up,
school age DD and DS1 need to be in the kitchen for breakfast by 7,
DH leaves between 6.15 and 7 depending on where he is going,
there is no TV, books, toys, only chatting, the radio and the antics of 1yo DS2 for amusement in the kitchen,
DD has to get dressed before breakfast, DS1 gets dressed after breakfast, this means they are using the bathroom at different times and are less likely to run in to each other,
breakfast needs to be finished by 7:30, 7:45 at the latest, I am usually pottering in the kitchen while they eat, chatting, feeding DS2, making lunches and reminding them of what they need for school that day etc,
DD goes off to her room to preen while DS1 is getting dressed in his room, I go upstairs with them to get washed and dressed and dress DS2,
When they are both completely ready apart from coats/shoes then DD can turn her phone and the modem on for her Ipod and let in any friends gathering outside, DS1 can watch TV and if needed read his reading book to me go through spellings. I try and aim for this to be 8:15 for DD and 8:20 for DS1.
DD leaves at 8:30 and DS1, DS2 and I leave at 8:45

I am another fan of visual timetables, DD3 has ASD so we were recommended one by some other mums on here.

I would definitly use it with kids without ASD though because it really takes the preassure off and gives them independence.

All I say now is "look at your timetable", Dd3 has gone from me having to tell her every single step in the morning to being completly independent in 12 months.

Try it, it works.

about an hour bed to door.
DS and I are both rubbish at morning and need time to wake up. Dh leaves for work about 30 mins before we leave for school. DS and I are normally still eating breakfast when DH leaves, Then I make pack lunch, DS clears table, we clean teeth, IF we are running early boy gets 5 mins "play time" then its shoes, coats,bike lids and out the door.

5 mins later we are at school.

I feel your pain and also hate the mornings with school and playschool run! I do as much as I can the night before, lumchboxes, bookbag, uniform, clothes for me and dd sorted, even get the shoes out by the front door. I give them a time limit as to when each thing is going to happen...ds in 5 mins, we're going to go up and you can do your teeth, have a wash while I get dd sorted, etc. My ds is 6 and once he's dressed, hair done, all ready I let him go on moshi monsters while I get me ready and sort dd out for preschool. Organisation helps massively....and deep breaths.

We take about an hour so all up by 7 and out of the door by 8. No tv or playing and generally pretty calm ( or as calm as a DS(6) and DS(3) can ever be!!). Exactly the same routine every morning so they know what is expected

Oh and I get up at 630 so I'm ready for work before we start!

I think supernanny did a chart once that was stuck by the front door and the kids had to move their token along as they completed each task, breakfast, dressed, teeth etc. It was kind of a race. Both kids were boys I think - maybe the competitive thing helps?

1 hour here but it used to be longer when they were four and six and my working conditions required me to more presentable straight after school run.

I wake the DCs before I get in the shower then go in and remove duvets if they are not up by the time I have finished in the bathroom (about 10 mins). DD prefers to dress after breakfast and DS before so we have fallen naturally into a pattern where they are not often together at the same time and it makes a big difference. DS is usually too busy talking to do what he is supposed to so I remove his plate if he hasn't finished eating by teeth time. He gets a five minute warning so usually manages to gobble enough down.

The only difficult point is when they are doing shoes and coats. The hall is too small and one of them will start being silly which slows the other one down either because they join in or have to complain that they can't get on. I lost my temper with DS about this today as he has been the main culprit over the past few weeks, so put him outside to do shoes and coat on the front step.

When they were four and six, I used to help youngest dress while the eldest got started on breakfast. This might work for you?

No telly in the mornings, it's just a distraction.

Other than that... try to allow as few choices as possible. The table comes to mind - our kids used to argue about who sat where, who had that seat last time, etc. One day I got fed up, said we were having fixed places and we've sat there ever since. It's one less thing to fuss about .

Is it too far to walk? If they're arguing about who gets in the car first I'd threaten them with walking - and carry it through. Or, take it in strict turns (week by week rather than day by day so they don't argue about whose day it is).

45 min does sound short. Figure out how long each bit should take (realistically) and use the times as targets. If they're won't get dressed, off to school in pyjamas. Or without shoes. They won't be the first to do this - or the last . (And you probably won't get them much out of the front door before they give in.)

We tried the race thing once Trixie...it just ended up in a complete and utter meltdown when one of then inevitably looses! lol

lol reminds me of my mornings

School run is like dealing with the mafia not that i haver had to but i think honestly that would be easier. Hate it so much get there the second daughter goes in and comes out the mouth ate to much to ber

i have bags made up on a sunday ready for the week ahead, each bag contains a full uniform including underwear, i have five for each child to cover the full week. i just put a bag out for each child each morning.