How old when you first let DDs overnight without you?

[Katiekatiekatekate]

I mean with babysitter/family member? DH is keen for DS to spend the odd night at GPs so that we could have a night out/away. We've bought a cot for their house and he has stayed there once so far and is there for the second time tonight, but both times with DH there so that he can get used to it.

I'm not sure it's ok though, I can't rationalise my problem with it except that if I miss him, won't he miss me?? I'm a bit of the "ah he can come into our bed" school of thought, but then I whinge the next day when he's spent the whole night attached to my boob, so I can totally understand DH's frustration with me. Sometimes he sleeps through, more often he doesn't sleep at all and DH thinks the reason he doesn't sleep well is because I just stick him on my boob for the whole night as soon as he wakes up. (He is 17mo)

Any opinions welcome, but please be gentle as I'm not feeling great as it is!!

For DDs in topic header, read DCs! Not sure why I wrote that, don't even have a DD.

18 months old, for a two-night weekend (left with grandparents), then 28 months, for a week (again with grandparents). If they have a good relationship and your parents are up to it (plenty of energy, patience, don't mind settling them in the night if need be) then it's a great thing to start doing, especially for your son's relationship with his grandparents. Start small and build up!

DS1 first stayed overnight at my parents when he was about 18mths when we went to a wedding. He was fine but most other times he stayed over would be with his little cousin who is the same age as it was waaay more exciting. DS2 first stayed a bit younger (but with DS1) & was absolutely fine. They LOVE staying away together so if my parents can face it we'll farm them off for a night out every couple of months and we did a 2 nighter (another wedding) recently & they had a ball - my parents looked like they needed a holiday mind you
DO IT!!!

One night, ds was 9 months, and at that age (and younger and until about 2.6) really didn't care who was paying him attention as long as someone was.

He used to wake 1-2 times in the night and my parents said they were willing to give it a go for one night having ensured they had nothing they needed to do for the next three days! So I booked a spa hotel for me and MrNC about an hour's drive away.

I certainly missed him way more than he missed me! And not just as I needed to express milk twice. But it was still a lovely time for all of us, though my parents did say they weren't doing it more than once every 6 months until he was sleeping all night. I wouldn't have done it with just one person but between both parents they could take turns to nap!

There was another night and then two-nights just before he was 2 and another night and then another two-nighter just before he was 3. He'll be spending a few more nights soon when dc2 is born. He's really enjoyed it despite some asking when mummy/daddy will be back (they explain we'll be back after he sees the ducks and then has a treat for dinner and then sleeps and has breakfast, or whatever), and will tell me all about it for ages.

So I figure it's worth doing as it seems to really help GPs and ds to create their own relationship, but equally keep the time and distance to what you think you can emotionally manage. For keeping my and MrNC's relationship going, we've been usually OK with a few hours babysitting while we go for a meal/cinema, but a night or two a year is a great luxury for us.

ds1 first spent a night at my mums when he was about 3 i think

i've only ever spent one night away from the other 2, and they were with DP, so that doesn't count!

About 3 mo? We do it fairly regularly, around once a month. Don't think it does any harm staying with grandparents, and they love having her.

Dd was about 2 months, ds around 4 and a half months. Both very close to gps and they live very close if there are any issues.

Once a month, usually the Friday after payday, ds stays at my mum and dad's house, has done since 8 weeks. My parents love having him, we get a whole night to ourselves, and ds (now 16 weeks+) gets used to being with my mum who's going to look after him when I go back to work.

8 months. DH and I went to a spa hotel half an hours drive from PILs house. I had to express twice but didn't miss her as much as I thought I would.

Since then they have had her once overnight at ours when she was 18 months and also will have her next month for another night so DH and I can have a night away.

I don't want to ask too often as she still doesn't sleep through but it does give us a bit of respite.