Redundancy means I'll be SAHM with pre-schooler and 18mo - tips for structuring day please!

[NumptyMum]

At present I work 2.5 days per week, so both kids are used to being in a good nursery and getting all the input that entails. However I'm very likely to be made redundant soon (prob finishing end Feb/start March). We moved 2 months ago, so my leaving work will be good in some ways as I'll be able to get DS into the local school nursery and he'll meet some other children prior to starting school in the autumn. However I feel very conscious that DD (the 18mo) will not get the same opportunities as she does in nursery (eg messy play will be more limited as we no longer have a wipe-clean floor in our new house).

So what things can I do that will keep a 4.5yr old (I live in Scotland which is why he's not at school yet) and an 18mo happy, and perhaps even learning things? I do things on the days I'm off just now, but don't really feel that they are learning the same as in nursery (esp DS, who is learning about letters/counting/seasons etc). How do I continue to help him learn these things and involve DD too? Also DS flits from one thing to another, lots of energy; when we paint he generally wants to try ALL the paints, then move onto the glitter pens one by one, then he's done; and as he's moving so fast I don't get to spend time with DD at all as I'm busy changing paper, trying to control the pace of things and not let paint get everywhere... Does anyone else have tips on how to slow the pace and encourage focus on one thing at a time? Or does that depend on the personality of the child?

Big piece of vinyl tablecloth for messy play. One messy activity out (at most) per morning that she can come back to. Find another mum who wants to do messy stuff and do it alternating between houses. Water play at the sink/in bath. Out and about to parks/ toddler groups to avoid constantly messy house. Some cbeebies to keep your sanity. Don't expect too much- she'll already get more one to one even if sometimes you're doing other jobs.

Well , he sounds like a healthy normal little boy...lol...firstly..buy a shower cutain, you can get one cheep from a 1 pound shop..then with paints/glitter..only have 3 paint pots out...leave glitter untill painting is dry...later in the day... As for both learning together...buy some plastic cups, and a small bag of compost..plus some flower seeds...with them both...-using shower curtain on the floor as with paint and glitter also?? get them to put dirt in plastic cups,,then plant a few seeds in each cup..the each day you can all use up some time watering the cups..just a little drop..and talking about the flowers, counting how many pots..how many flowers in each pot are growing...(If you buy cress or mustard these will soon start to grow.. Also a good idea is to buy a gold-fish each for them..this gives them feeding the fish each day..just a little pinch each ..every day...little little..tell the about not giving too much food..name the fish.. make some toast let it cool a little..buy some plastic..party style knives and paper plates..give them each..a slice of toast and a bit of butter on the plate..teach them how to spread the butter.
But do not do it for them..take your toast and just show them then let them do it..and make sure they each have a blob of butter on the plate..don't put butter to share..it must be each of then or fights start lol.
Make up songs together, new songs your own words..anything silly but about things/people you know. Like nanny/auntie or we will have ...a lovely garden garden because we work in it so well, and if you we water our flowers every day..when they grow they will have a lovely smell... just silly songs..even abcdefg..and counting songs... of course a short nap/sleep around 1 o clock- ish but only for a short time..wake them after about 1 and half hours..don't be tempted to let them sleep too long. Then of course you will have other things to fill the time..short walks..rain or shine..kids love the rain coat/boots and brolly.. a splash in puddles..great stuff
Be a kid again.. Of course it will be hard work for you ..at first as you are used to being at work ..and I am sure worried about loss of income.. but honestly..children do not need money spent on toys.. get an old..big cardboard box..ask the local shop to save some for you..you can spend hours playing with a box, open both ends and its a tunnel, cut out windows and door..its a dolls house. it can be anything..also make a tent out of a blanket or sheet by putting it over the dinner table so it hangs down to the floor..now you will have a den.. Make play-doe..cup flower cup salt water to bind..food colouring ..this can be used again and again for a few days..wrap in clingfilm put in fridge it will save till next day. Make cup cake..and icing sweets..
I bet you will love it...You never know...you might even change your life style all together one day..and earn a wage at playing ...you will probably miss the fun.... also..I would advice...let your son teach the younger one..you show him then let him show how it is done..this will stop him from snatching,grabbing everything..I know we all tend to aid the younger more...try not to do that tooo much...teach him and then ask him to teach what he now knows.. Good luck..stay calm...if all starts to go pear shape and they get upset with each other...stay calm,,and change the subject..start a song or put some music on and have a silly dance around the place..they will soon join in.... get them to help polish hoover, and if they argue..just say shhhhhh listen, can you her that..but talk in a whisper..so that they have to listen ...and when you need the mess cleaned up....pretend the phone has rung..call it or put the alarm on..out of site or pree when you want the activity to end.time allotted?? then say..auntie or nanny or whoever they know..is coming so we must clean up..otherwise they will have no place to sit/stand..then when alls done..reward them/praise..when the person has not arrived..pretend to telephone them and ask where they are then tell the kids..oh dear they are not coming because..for instance the bus/car has broken down, or something..Then have a chat about how the bus car works and how it can go wrong..flat tyre..then how many wheels not forgetting the steering wheel and spare wheel??lol I bet you will have some great fun...
so good luck..count to ten..

Thanks so much for these replies! I generally get the kids out the house at least once a day, though it is harder in winter (we're lucky we've moved where it's really easy to get a walk along the canal, and both kids love their wellies, but when it's cold/sheets of rain then it's harder to get on with it...). I think it's working out what I can do with both at once that's the problem - eg I do baking with DS but with DD being so young I don't know how I could get her to join in (although that might be a good time for her to sit at the table with play-doh). Thanks for the tip about teaching DS and getting him to show DD, he's a good big brother and often does this anyway but I could use it to help me. We did some cleaning today - water spray and ecloths, though DS was much more interested in the water spray! It's usually the afternoons when things go pear-shaped as I'll often have things in mind for the morning, then we speed through them and kids get to the late afternoon wanting more input from me just at the time I need to do cooking. I have a slow-cooker, which can help but that means I have to do the cooking in the morning, again sometimes hard to fit it in around demands of kids. Thanks for the tips though, I guess we'll muddle through as we always do - just hope I don't get shouty with DS when he gets a bit too much - I just can't problem solve when I'm tired/later in the day...

Similar situation to you - redundancy from 3 day per week job last Oct with 13mo DD and 3.6yo DS. I find it hard managing both their needs (in fct I'm back to work next week for a 6 week contarct for a break!). What helps is DS having preschool/nursery mornings and I tend to focus on activities with DD then, and not worry so much about her when they are both here and focus on him. DD seems to love doing whatevere he does anyway, so if we are doing colourings, i just give her a few crayons and paper and she does it alongside us.

Hide and seek and musical statues are a huge hit here, they can both be involved (DD now 16 mo is surprisingly good and excited by both). We play both every day.

I don't resort to Cbeebies too much - rule is never in the morning, then quiet time for DS for an hour after lunch when DD naps. Then they get 30 mins while I do tea as we're all tired by then and all need the break. Occasionally they get a little more than that, but I try to be quite strict about it.

I don't feel on top of it, I feel like we muddle through to be honest, but if I can get to teh end of the day and feel they've both had a bit of time from me and are reasonably happy then I feel ok.

Also if you can afford it you may want to see if your younger DC can still have a short amount o ftime in nursery. My DD does 2 mornings with her brother, which gives me the breathing space I need to either do household jobs or have a littletime for myself. My DH is out nearly 12 hours a day so I don't get much help with them during the week (he gets breakfast and finishes bathtime but that's all he's around for). So my 2 mornings of respite are very valuable.