Mornings with a 17 month old. I am at the end of my tether!

[bbface]

As I write this, it all seems a bit silly as I am sitting in Costa coffee at the gym whilst DS is in the creche. I feel relaxed and I know DS is happy.

BUT! Every morning is bloody difficult. I am a SAHM. How do other mums do it?! My DS is a delicious, gorgeous, affectionate, fun and loving boy. We have so much fun together. However I find mornings SO difficult.

He has always slept very well, and now does 7 - 7. From the very second he wakes up he is on the go. I manage to wolf down a bowl of cereal and quick scan of the online papers, and then it is full on. I try to do housework, but it is impossible. I made a tortilla for his lunch so all i need to do is reheat, but it was a stress from start to finish as I kept hearing bangs and thuds in the lounge and so would dash in so find him grinning insanely at me as he balanced precariously on the dining table, or he was scribbiling on the TV etc etc. I have a super quick shower and never have time to dry my hair properly etc as he is always climbing on things and being a danger to himself. He never actually plays with his toys.

Towards the end of the moring he gets very whiney (obv bored) and I get short-tempered with him. I also feel very guilty that I do not play with him in the morning, but how on earth would I ever get anything done and get us out the doror?

Any advise? What do other mothers do? Once we ar out of the house, we are fine, but for the period 7.30 - 10 - it really wears on my patience and then of course is the constant low level guilt that I should be 'doing' things with him in the moning. But again I ask the question... how would I everget anything done??
Thanks

Even I feel on edge after reading your post! Slow down! What's the big rush to get everything done in the morning?! Why do you need to get 'out the door' so urgently that you're leaving yourself absolutely frazzled with the stress of it all?

Take him with you into different rooms, include him in things so that he isn't left in another room getting up to mischief. Play with him instead of reading the online papers if you feel so guilty about not doing that. Does he nap during the day? Can you not tidy up or read the papers then?

It is tough, I remember the days well, but honestly - the more relaxed you are, the easier everything will become. Welcome to life with a toddler

Gets easier from 20months -it did for me anyway- I found 14-18month patch one of the most difficult so far- probably as its the time they are starting to really explore the world around them.

He's delightful now-- sitting next to me watching bedtime TV as I write... you'll get there x

Well I manage a quick shower before DH leaves in the morning, but then DS2 gets up at 5.30am! With a 7am wake up, I'd get a quick shower in first if I could - then I am ready for the day. Everything else is accomplished at a slower speed with Ds2 in tow. I give him his breakfast after the others have left for school at 7.30am. I eat mine then, or have coffee at the same time. He sits in his high chair and watches whilst I tidy up a bit in the kitchen, or sits and watches me if I am doing early lunch prep. Give him some bits to play with, taste etc

When I go upstairs and tidy round, I have toys scattered in various rooms, but shut the doors to unsafe rooms/bathrooms. It takes longer, but it gets done. He is involved whilst I am doing that, and if I get a chance I may have a quick play - but to be honest he seems quite happy pottering around playing with toys, hiding under the bedclothes - so that becomes playtime.....

The hardest thing is hanging washing on the line - I normally put on a DVD for 10 minutes which he loves and I can almost guarantee that he won't move away from....

You need to get up earlier to get your stuff done before him

Close doors so he is with you in the same room while you make lunch

He's probably whiney because ehe is tired , not bored. Bung him in the buggy and go for a long walk to clear your head!

I feel your pain DS is 17mo too and has no fear so constantly putting himself into precarious positions.

He does like to help though so when I dry my hair me helps brush it. I give him his own cloth whilst I clean kitchen surfaces. A feather duster was a huge hit :)

I'd agree with an bangtastic about taking him from room to room with you. I tend to clean a little then play with DS so we hoover a bedroom then it's time for a story.

I have a 17 month old - she comes in the shower with me (sits in the end of the bath and splashes). I dry her hair along with mine and get her dressed/dried alongside me. I do get washing on/dishwasher unloaded etc while she eats breakfast but only quick tasks.
I let her potter round the kitchen with me as long as I am not using the oven. She tends to chase the cat round with a sweeping brush while I make her food.

Does he nap? I get housework done when dd naps or when she is asleep in the evening.

We tend to get out first thing as we have to take ds to school so are up, running and out already. When ds was tiny we used to go to park straight away after breakfast which helped - we were there by 7.15 one morning!

Also you do need a safe place to put them - whether a room with a baby gate or a play pen. Stuff they shouldn't have free access to should be put away (e.g. pens/crayons for scribbling on tvs). Just because it makes your life easier. I also think with dd being dc2 I feel less pressure to get stuff done and like spending quite a lot of time just playing with her and pottering around with her.

Also take them with you when you're doing tasks such as stick them in empty bath with toys (even if a jug plus wooden spoon) while you clean the bathroom, give them a sweeping brush or pans/spoons to bang in kitchen while you clean it. I used to chuck mine in the middle of the bed and make it over them (throwing duvet over them) which they both found hilarious.

Playpen. Saved my sanity. Now that he's older (2.7), it's a stairgate on his room, which is completely toddler safe. He goes in there when I shower or do anything I don't want his 'help' with.

But mostly? I let him help. He helps cook, he helps tidy. Makes it take 10000 times longer, but so much more fun for both of us!

Thanks so much for your comments. All genuinely helpful.

It would seem that what I need to do is involve him a bit more in the mornings rather than dashing around like a blue arsed fly! I love to leave the house sparkilingly tidy in the morning, but I am going to chill on this front. Instead I shall do more housework/cooking when he maps for 1.5 hours. Currently I spend half the nap doing housework and or cooking, and the other half watching tv / on mumsnet! I will miss that though!).

Listening to my boy in his cot atm playing with his piggy moneybox. I feel so guilty that I have been neglecting him in the mornings. No more, this is the wake up call I needed. Thanks

Don't feel guilty -it's easy to get in that "must do everything" frame of mind. I still battle against it.....

With DS2 - whilst he is playing happily with his own toys in the same room - that's when I Mumsnet - and half watch what he's doing. We both have our own bit of time!!

I have an almost 18mo, I work Wed-Fri and Sat or Sun. That means have two days home alone with my toddler. It is hard hard work. Since she was born I let the housework slide Joe just played with her, then in the last month she has started to want to help clean and cook so I've became a tad obsessive about becoming some sort of domestic goddess and think I am ignoring her too much.

I've found a combo of what needs doing to keep me relaxed but entertain her works well. So we clean bathrooms, change sheets, washing on, playtime. Then a snack and sort kitchen. washing out, playtime or music, the lunch or nap then lunch. I sit down and mn or write shopping list. Then we go out to a baby group or playdate, then we might go shopping before heading home for her tea. EVenings I study so I tend to do a lot of catch cooking during the day too to freeze/reheat. Much cheaper too.

There is a happy balance. But I do have to shower before DH leaves in a morning,else no chance!