When and how did you wean your child off the dummy?

[ghosty]

DD will be 2 in a couple of weeks and I was just reading Hayls thread about moving house/moving to a bed/weaning off dummy for her DD (same age as mine) and I was wondering if I were to wean DD off her dummy, how on earth would I do it?

DS never had a dummy and was a slave to his 'Muzzies' (Muslins) which I obviously never had to deprive him of. He wasn't particularly in love with just one ... so I could take them and wash them and replace them again with no bother ... and then at about 4 he stopped asking for it. About 6 months ago he had a couple of months when he wanted it at night ("For Bear, Mummy, he is scared!" ) but the end of the Muzzy Affair was quite painless ... He is 6 by the way.

Anyway, back to DD ... she loves her dummies ... they have kept me sane because of how easily she goes to sleep with them. When she was about 8 months I stopped her having them when she was playing and then at 12 months we got strict about them only for sleeps and since 18 months they have lived in her bed. She knows she can't have them during the day, we never take them out, they never go to playgroup or creche. But sometimes she scuttles off to her room and when I go to find her I find her standing by her cot having a little suck ... when she sees me she throws them back into her cot and shouts "Diddit gone!!!!" and laughs her head off ... such a cheeky madam!

Anyway ... the thought of taking them away completely fills me with dread and I will admit, a bit of sadness as she loves them so much. So naturally I am in denial really and have no plans to take them away just yet ...

But ... at what age did you take your child's dummy away and HOW on earth did you manage it without breaking your child's (and your own) heart????

My ds1 was the only one out of my 4 to have dummies. He was just very "sucky" and, like your dd, got very attached to them. We also did the sleeptime only routine with them.
After various failed attempts at getting rid (including not replacing broken ones, losing one or two on purpose, "forgetting" to put them out for him at bedtime, etc) we told him - I think he was 2.5 or maybe just 3) that a friend's dog needed them for a new puppy... Sounds bizarre I know! But it worked. Over the space of a few days he gradually relinquished them into a special little bag to be given to the puppy. I think we lit upon the puppy idea rather than someone's new baby as he would have known not to share his dummies with another child. At the time our ds2 was 1+ and had never wanted a dummy; we pointed this out too, but it was the imaginary puppy that actually won him over.

Sheer luck and opportunity!
Ds was 2.4 and was poorly, he was vomiting. One night he vomited his whole 9oz milk drink back and his dummy was covered in it. He had also bitten holes in it and when i had washed it and offered it back he wouldnt have it saying that it had sick on it. SO, i said that i would put it into the bin. He agreed and so i binned the lot and told him from there on in that we had to throw them away as they had sick on them.
Whenever he asked for them i would say to him "oh no, where are your dummies?" and he would explain to me like the complete thicko i am that " well, we had to put them in the bin....blah blah blah".
He stopped talking about them after a week or so and that was that. (2 months ago)
I have to add that i would have no problem whatso ever if he still had them, i think that they will get rid when they are ready.
Just keep your eyes pealed for opportunity.

Well, not much help, but my suggestion would be to get rid of them now, as it must be easier when the child is younger. I won't tell you how old my child is, and she still uses hers at night...

HELLO Im new to mumsnet hope im ok to join in ive joined in a couple of threads this week but then all goes quiet when i do so hope im doing it right !!!

My ds had dummy til he was 4 and i made him give it up a christmas. they i looked at it was he wouldnt have it when he was at school so he gave it to santa. by the way i couldnt grumble as my mum told me i had mine til the tender age of 7 !!!!!!!!! and i took mine to school and hid under my coat at break times to have a sneaky suck

HELLO Im new to mumsnet hope im ok to join in ive joined in a couple of threads this week but then all goes quiet when i do so hope im doing it right !!!

My ds had dummy til he was 4 and i made him give it up a christmas. they i looked at it was he wouldnt have it when he was at school so he gave it to santa. by the way i couldnt grumble as my mum told me i had mine til the tender age of 7 !!!!!!!!! and i took mine to school and hid under my coat at break times to have a sneaky suck

HELLO Im new to mumsnet hope im ok to join in ive joined in a couple of threads this week but then all goes quiet when i do so hope im doing it right !!!

My ds had dummy til he was 4 and i made him give it up a christmas. they i looked at it was he wouldnt have it when he was at school so he gave it to santa. by the way i couldnt grumble as my mum told me i had mine til the tender age of 7 !!!!!!!!! and i took mine to school and hid under my coat at break times to have a sneaky suck

it works then !!!! sorry i didnt realise id sent it 3 times

Havent. She's 2.5. She has it at night to sleep. She'll give it up in her own time, as she did w/her bottle.

I waited until I felt she was old enough to grasp the idea of "giving" them away (30 months for us), and then we agreed that she would give her dummies to the fairies, and that they would bring her something special in return (in her case a Mickey Mouse dvd to help feed her obsession ).

She had to put the dummies in the box herself (which did lead to a lot of tears), but I felt it was important for her to do it herself.

We did it in the evening, and then it was just a case of a night being very strong, and going cold turkey. I wore her out during that day so that she was more likely to sleep easily, and we just went for it. We had tried a gradual withdrawal, but it never seemed to work.

She woke up in the morning to find the same box in her room, covered with fairy sparkles, and opened the box to find her dvd.

I think I was lucky and got her at just the right time - we had very very few tears over them.

I waited until I felt she was old enough to grasp the idea of "giving" them away (30 months for us), and then we agreed that she would give her dummies to the fairies, and that they would bring her something special in return (in her case a Mickey Mouse dvd to help feed her obsession ).

She had to put the dummies in the box herself (which did lead to a lot of tears), but I felt it was important for her to do it herself.

We did it in the evening, and then it was just a case of a night being very strong, and going cold turkey. I wore her out during that day so that she was more likely to sleep easily, and we just went for it. We had tried a gradual withdrawal, but it never seemed to work.

She woke up in the morning to find the same box in her room, covered with fairy sparkles, and opened the box to find her dvd.

I think I was lucky and got her at just the right time - we had very very few tears over them.

My twin DDs had dummies at night until they were 3.5 - I kept putting off binning them because they were so so attached to them. DD2 used to go to bed with about 5 of them .

We were due to go on holiday to Spain and I informed them about a week beforehand that dummies weren't allowed on the plane or in Spain and it seemed to sink in. I made a big thing of putting them in the bin on the morning of travel (although I did secrely hide some in cause of trauma!), but they were absolutely fine - never mentioned them again.

DS1 was hard. We did it when he was nearly 3, solely because he kept pinching DS2's during the day as he was only allowed his at night. We sat down with him and basicly did the whole 'big boys don't wear nappies like a baby, so they shouldn't use dummies either' routine and binned them. We had a few upset nights but going cold turkey was the best way - I probably wouldn't be so harsh now, I like the idea of swapping it for something nicer.

DS2 was younger, we went on holiday when he was 18mths and 'forgot' to take any with us. DS1 was still sneaking sucks from DS2's (a year later!) so as DS2 wasn't as attached to them it was easier to get them out of the house altogether.

DD is 2.2 and is a total dummyaholic so I think it's going to be a while before we get rid of them, she does only have them at night though. She's happiest with two in her mouth and one in each hand

My daughter did it herself within a few weeks of first term in Reception.

No pressure, no comment from us. I wouldn't dream of forcing her.

oddly, she did not have a dummy until age 2.5 when a friend gave me a bag (not sure why) and I left them out. She got hold of them at some point and the rest is a blur but we somehow drifted into her having one regularly.

My middle child had one from the start because his sister was having one and gave up voluntarily age 3.

My youngest was born with a sucking blister from sucking his wrist in the womb. He sucked his thumb until about 8 months and gave up naturally.

No fuss, no bother, no pressure, no embarrassment and definitely no pleasing anybody else on the basis of their aesthetic ideals.

Thanks for these comments
My dentist told me recently that we should get DD 'off' them by her second birthday but I just feel she is too young to understand and it would be terribly cruel.
In the vague recesses of my memory I remember that my neice gave her dummies to father christmas 4 months before her 3rd birthday so that he could give them to a baby who needed them .... apparently for a week she raved at father christmas and said she didn't like him but after that she was fine ...

So, she is 2 in a couple of weeks .... what most of you are saying is that by maybe 2 and a half she might be able to understand the concept of 'giving' them away .... right, will look to that then ....

Just to add a fly to the ointment:

What will you do if she sucks her fingers or thumb as a substitute?

Would like to know what your Dentist says about this.

We did this the Friday before last. DD is 2yrs 9mths.

She had dummies all the time, except when she was at nursery (one full day a week). In the end, she would have a huge tantrum or panic if she couldnt find one, we'd have to have several on standby, and all the grief from hunting for dummies etc, i felt would equal any grief from not having dummies any more.

Anyway, Friday before last after nursery she didnt ask for her dummy until bedtime. So we just told her the dummy fairy had taken them. She had a bit of a whine but was fine.

Next day, more whinges and whines on and off all day but nothing major - no more than usual when she had lost a dummy.

After 3 or 4 days she stopped asking. But she never really got upset about it. I dont know why we didnt do it sooner.

TBH I can't see why a dentist would have problems with a child sucking a dummy or their fingers, until their adult teeth wre coming in?

My ds stopped using it in the day before he was two, and a few months ago at just four, decided all by himself he didn't want one at night anymore. I didn't have to do anything, thank goodness. Perfect.
Serenity - I think nannyme's point is that children who such their thumbs/fingers tend to do so for longer than children who have dummies, and thumbsucking tends to be more damaging to teeth because of this and because the thumb is often used to literally push against the teeth.

sorry, commenting on ghosty's dentist comment rather than nannyme's.

My dd will be handing her dummies to the "dummyfairy" on her 4th birthday in April. She only uses them at home now and we've talked about it at length and she is ok about it all and is enjoying thinking of the present the "dummyfairy" is going to leave her.
Her dentist says that her dummies are definitely pulling her teeth out of alignment but that they will go back into position within 6 months of stopping using them.
Unfortunately, I know that she is going to suck her thumb, as this is what she does when she can't have her dummies!