Am I making a meal out of parenting?

[zimm]

I only have one dd 17 months. I find looking after her extremely hard work. Everything is a battle, especially food. She sleeps through about half the time but it always up between five and six for the day. I work three days a week so have two days on my own with her and I do seem to find them long and difficult. DP would like a second but the thought of another maternity leave does not fill me with joy, I literally cannot imagine being at home for a year with a toddler and a newborn. Asit is I need to use the TV to babysit Dd while I prepare her dinner or unload the dishwasher.....I watched some of that fifteen and counting show last night and just cannot imagine coping with two kids, let alone more! What am I doing wrong?

you're doing nothing wrong.
it's really hard work.

the thing is you're in slow motion now, when they get a bit bigger it starts to speed up and you honestly don't know where the time went. so think of it as having another child, not another baby or toddler, because that doesn't last, though at the time it just feels like groundhog day.

I think whilst its happening its hard work,later when that phase is over it all seemed easier .....your dd doesnt always need to be entertained being in the kitchen with you whilst you prepare dinner chopping and cutting and just 'doing' is all learning for her and the tv isnt a babysitter its good for dc to watch some tv the lights the voices etc etc are all stimuli.

15 and counting relies a lot on older dc looking after younger sibs and its televised im sure they have their bad days too.

If you have dc close together a playpen (for the little one) is great it means they can be in a baby proof environment whilst the toddler can play unrestricted.

Youre not doing anything wrong except being hard on yourself!!

It is hard - DS is 2.3 so I remember that age well! However after a couple of months it suddenly got easier (I work 3 days too) - DS played more independently for short bursts and I changed my approach - so instead of trying to distract him and do stuff, I'd involve him instead.

I now have a 6 week old too and it's easier with DS at this age - I an imagine at 17/18 months it would be tougher (it's bloody hard now!)

I was very worried about managing two and I still panic every now and then. But you just have to get on with it and once you do it's bearable provided you have things to do, even if it's stuff around the house.

I often feel like that. Ds is 18 months abs the last 5 months have been awful but the last two weeks suddenly seem easier for some reason. I love him dearly but just sometimes I want to run away. He went through a phase of me not even being able to prepare dinner without him s reamng and clinging to my leg but like I say its passed for the time being. I beat myself up terrible about being a bad mum and where did I go so wrong but when I think about it what I could I have differently. Perhaps we just need to learn not to be so hard on ourselves.

I remember these days. I did have another one and the payoff is that it gets easier as they can play with each other - takes the pressure off you to be the sole entertainer.
You just have to stick it out for a couple of years - in retrospect it passes very quickly, although I remember the tedium of the day stretching ahead like eternity!

It definitely gets easier! I remember the 17/18 month phase being hellishly hard work. DS is nearly 2 and we've really just started finding things get easier in the last couple of months - his eating has improved, the tantrums are getting less frequent, he's getting more capabale of playing by himself and he's starting to not get up to mischief every time I leave the room. I still find it hard to keep us both entertained for a whole day if I'm off work with him, but I think/hope that's entirely normal!

Thanks all. Endless tantrums today. I'm shattered everything is a battle. She barely ate until three pm!