Help:sad 12 year old ,exhausted Mum

[Philly]

Feeling really inadaequate here.ds1 has never been one of life's optimists (probably my fault if you believe robert winston!)but things just seem to be getting worse and worse,he seems unable to be happy about almost anything,except perhaps his new bass guitar.
He has just moved up to Senior School and went to the junior dept of the same school,to be honest he wasn't that happy there but everyone kept saying that the Seniors was better etc and to stick it out.He surprised us by really wanting to stay as we had thought about moving him to a slightly smaller school but ever since he got there it has just got worse and worse.I don't know wether it is school,his hormones or just his nature.He says that school is boring and depressing and he hates it ,he has been there since reception and always had a large circle of friends but that seems to be shrinking and although he went up from the juniors they are otnumbered 2:1 by new people and due to split lunch timetables he rarely sees some of his old friends in different classes.
He is the oldest in the year and physically quite mature but is very sensitive now about his weight,he is by no means the only one at this age to have a little extra but he is bothered by it and I think is getting teased mostly because he has quite a round jaw which makes him look bigger than he is.
We could move him to the other school ,which co-incidentally I work at(not on the teaching side) but this seems very drastic especially when he has been there so long (dh is also aGovernor there although this would not stop us moving him)
I just want him to be happy
do all 12 year olds feel like this he says he feels really sad one minute and really happy another,I really am worn out by this he seems to need so much boosting all the time.I also have a ds2 who has SN and ds3 lively 4 year old but I would say that ds1 gets the most 1:1 attention

i'd move him.he's obviously not happy and possibly being bullied.( you say there is teasing going on...this could be really affecting him and if it's unpleasant and not part of a fun 'bantering 'type situation then i think it is bullying)
if he's not wanting to go to school etc then i really think it's time to take serious action.

the thing is he has been there since he was 3 adn i wonder how much he appreciates how difficult will be without anybody that he knows at least when he is off or something he has people he can call about homework etc,he says that he doesn't see his old friends from the prep much but in comparison he won't see them at all.also it sounds stupid but I would lose that support as well,at least at the moment I have quite at lot of mothers at the same school taht i can call and say "is this right 2 or "can you see if your ds has had the same experience "Dh reckons that he would lose more by losing this than he would gain from a fresh start.But a bit of me thinks that that is exactely what he needs;a fresh start,he is stuck in a rut.

Oh dear its all so complicated and I don't want to make things worse for him

because he's been there since he was 3, it could a situation where everyone has thought all this time' x is a white hat' and he knows everyone thinks this but he wants to be a black hat, not a white hat!( sorry terrible analogy but you get the gist)a fresh start at a new school could give him the chance to re-invent himself a little maybe.
i know i loathed primary school-had no friends,felt out of place.started a different senior school and loved it.

Thats absolutely it !!
I also know that i went to a similar academicc school I wasn't unhappy but didn't do anything,always in middle etc.Moved to smaller supposedly less academic but blossomed and academically probably did better,would never had had confidence to aplly to durham for example becasue thats what the top stream did.Had forgotton all of this but all of this has brought it back and I wonder if he could be the same.I think part of the problem is that he just needs to feel that he matters
Does anyone have any experience of moving in yr 8?

easy for me to say all this as my boys are way too young for this kind of problem, but i wouldn't leave him in the hope that he'll get used to it philly.he sounds quite depressed and this not a good thing at this age.

My dd (now Yr. 8) started at her secondary school at the beginning of Yr. 7 with the main intake, but knew absolutely no-one, whereas the majority of her year came from the same Prep school.

She did not want to go to the particular school dh and I thought was best, and desperately wanted to stay with her prep school friends, and go to a larger grammar - where she was offered a place.

She has settled well, and made lots of friends, although we did have the dramatics before she got there.

I think you know your child best, and some of this comes down to gut instinct.

I really feel for you, and although it will work out, it doesn't stop it hurting at the moment!