When do I...

[NoTeaForMe]

...not change a meal to suit my daughter?

For example if she has something and refuses to eat it when is it important to not make them something else?

Thanks

Hmm. Not sure.

Even as an adult you might not fancy something that's put in front of you, so I don't think the option of either toast or fruit if you don't want the meal should necessarily be withdrawn at any particular point.

I wouldn't go cooking a completely separate meal at any point though - I won't even do that for 22mo DD. If she doesn't eat her meal, that's fine. Toast, cereal or a banana are the options available to her.

How often is your DD refusing to eat a meal and how old is she?

I've never made a different meal, I guess it is harsh but here is it take it or leave it, if you leave it the only things you're allowed are fruit and water until the next meal. They're 12 and 8 now and there are very few things they won't eat.

I think it does depend on your child. If they have just hit the 'terrible two phase' I wouldn't make a separate meal but as Fliss says offer fruit or bread and butter. If it is just a phase they'll grow out of it. This worked well with DS2 who wll eat literally anything (except canned tuna!!). He loves food and loves eating.

DS1 is a completely different kettle of fish. When he was little he really had no interest in food and a very limited range of foods he would eat. he would get very anxious about new foods and it really didn't seem worth the hassle. Yoghurts, bagels, bread and butter were all he would eat. I know someone will come along and say 'no child will starve themselves' but he did and ended up in hospital when he fainted at school. I had thought he was eating the school dinners (thinking being with other children would encourage him). He was then coming home and having a bagel and yoghurt. After the fainting incident school did a food dairy for me and in a week he ate 1 pasta shell, a spoonful of strawberry mousse and an apple!!!! My sister used to say i shouldn't provide a separate meal (well bread and butter and yoghurt) and 'of course he would eat what he was given' but it really wasn't an option. I needed to get calories into him.

He's now 11 and much better. DP who is a bit of a whizz in the kitchen has included him in in the cooking and gradually his repertoire has improved (spicy pork fried rice is his favourite).

I still won't provide a proper second meal on the whole though. I tend to adapt what we're having for him.

i've never cooked a whole new meal but it depends on a lot of things. if i know they're just being fussy and will eat it then i put my foot down, if i know they're really hungry (haven't eaten a decent lunch, little/no snacks) and it's something different that they don't want to try then as a last resort they can have something quick and easy to pick up - cereal, toast, sandwich, cereal bar.

Unless they have a fussy friend around then I would never cook a completely different meal, however I always have to adapt meals for DH (food intolerances) so do make slight changes for the DC - DD doesn't like potato and DS doesn't like sweetcorn so I will swap and change like for like.

If they don't like the complete meal then its toast / porridge / banana etc