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Parenting

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Original poster

Mornings w your 3 yo - when to get up

20 replies

RillaBlythe · 17/01/2012 08:40

the latest in the ongoing saga between dp & me about sleep

DP would like DD who is 3.7 to wait in bed/play in her bedroom until she hears someone is up. Depending on shifts dp is up between 6.15 & 7.15, dd wakes around 7-7.30. I think that if she's woken up at a reasonable time she can get up, & a parent gets up with her too.

I don't think any of our friends do anything other than get up when their children get up but I haven't asked them specifically. You'd think a Groclock would be useful but DP resists the idea because he's a dick & irrational about sleep

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Original poster

RillaBlythe · 17/01/2012 08:42

This morning DD shouted for me at 7.20. I went & got her & brought her into bed. DP was pissed off when he woke up at 7.30 that she was up already.

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Tee2072 · 17/01/2012 08:44

I would kill for 7.20 on a regular basis.

What exactly does he want her to do all by herself in her room in the dark?

My son gets up between 6 and 7 every morning. Either DH or I get up with him. He's about a year younger than your daughter, but I still think it is not unreasonable to get up with her.

Original poster

RillaBlythe · 17/01/2012 08:54

Well yes. The backstory btw is that DD didn't sleep through till 20 mths & only sleeps past 7 now she doesn't nap.

DP would genuinely like her to stay in her room/look after herself until an adult chooses to get up. The other day he was still in bed at 8.15 & she was trotting in to find out if it was morning yet every 15 mins (I was in the spare room after bad night with the baby)

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molly3478 · 17/01/2012 08:57

DD gets up at 6-6.30 for me to go to work 5 days a week so at weekends gets up early. She will play in her bedroom though until one of us gets up. She comes in sometimes and then we get up but often she is hapy to play on her own, she has all her toys in there so its not really any different whether we get up or not.

molly3478 · 17/01/2012 08:59

Also if I get up and still feel tired I have often fell asleep on sofa until about 10amish and she just sits and plays with all her toys on the floor next to me. I get the duvet out the bedroom and wrap up on the sofa.

Thumbwitch · 17/01/2012 09:01

I think that your DP is being unreasonable, to be fair. I am extremely lucky that my DS is a late sleeper, so doesn't get up usually until 8ish; but if he gets up earlier then I get up with him, unless DH is up and about.
He is being lazy and inconsiderate and should sort himself out - it's not all about him!

C0smos · 17/01/2012 09:27

As soon as DS (3) is awake he will shout for someone to come and get him, he still prefers to sleep in his cot but has nearly outgrown it. On the odd occassion he sleeps in his bed he will still shout, thats usually about 6ish.
During the week I am up at 530 and leave for work at 615 so I tend to leave him until my DH is up and showered and then he takes him.
If we are very lucky on a weekend he may sleep until 7 but as soon as he wakes up then we both get up with him.
I think your DH is being unreasonable, not getting up until 7 730 everyday sounds like a holiday to me.

molly3478 · 17/01/2012 09:31

I think its different when they are in their own beds and round their own toys. DD just sits in her room with all her stuff set up pretending to be different people and talking

dinkystinky · 17/01/2012 09:33

DS2 wakes up at 6.30 and hollers till an adult comes to keep him company! 7 is pretty good.

Seona1973 · 17/01/2012 09:34

ours are allowed through as long as it is 7am or after. Doesnt mean we have to get up too as they can come into the bed with us

Original poster

RillaBlythe · 17/01/2012 10:03

I've just ordered a Groclock. We can set it to 7.30 durin the week & 8.00 at weekends. I'm so fed up with all this.

We must be the only couple in the world that brought up sleep training as an issue at our marriage counselling !

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peppajay · 17/01/2012 19:48

My lo wakes between 6 and 7 most days and my DH says he can't cope with lack of sleep. He only has a tiny room though so all his toys downstairs but wouldn't play on his own though first thing in the morning!! molly3478 how lucky are you being able to curl up on the sofa whilst your daughter plays my kids wouldn't leave me alone!!!

TimeWasting · 17/01/2012 19:54

If you're setting a reasonable and consistent time then fine, but expecting a 3 year old to hang around until Daddy decides he can be bothered to get up isn't on. For one thing, is she not hungry?

VickityBoo · 17/01/2012 19:59

Groclock all the way! It is amazing. Even if dd (3) wakes up at 7 she'll wait until half 7. She will not move until the sun is on her clock bless her!

crazycatlady · 17/01/2012 20:20

7.30/8am is really pretty late to expect a 3 year old to stick to. My DD sleeps until 7/7.15 at the moment and I think this is pretty good going. I feel a bit sad for your DD that she's running in and out asking whether it's morning yet after having slept all night and woken up at a very reasonable time.

By all means try the Groclock but IMO it's a bit unfair on her not to have an adult get up with her when she wakes. I don't know all your circumstances but given what you've posted, I think it should be your DP that gets up with her more often than not given you are also caring for a baby.

Seona1973 · 17/01/2012 20:25

I think its a bit mean to make her stay alone in her room when she has slept to a perfectly reasonable hour. Groclocks and similar are for children waking at unreasonable hours e.g 5.30am not 7.20am

Original poster

RillaBlythe · 17/01/2012 21:04

You guys, you are saying all the right things. I can't convey to you how much DP & I clash heads about anything sleep related - he gets a real bee in his bonnet about it all & is IMO always unreasonable!

I do think it's fair enough to set her Groclock to e.g. 7.30 (I'll keep note of when she wakes up over the next few mornings to work out the best time) & expect her to potter in her room for 10 mins or so if she's up a bit early. She actually has a snack on her bedside table (originally because I have one - middle of the night breastfeeding hunger - & she wanted to copy me) that she eats some mornings.

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Oneofthechildlessones · 17/01/2012 21:13

I am a live in nanny and when my boss is away my charge knows to stay in their bed until I come and get them - current charge learnt this at 2.1 and I have even had lie-ins until 8 However I usually go through around 7.30 despite DC being awake since 6.30. DC has plenty of toys/books, and my employer encourages/expects DC to learn to play/entertain themself.

VickityBoo · 17/01/2012 21:18

We got the Groclock so our daughter would know when to get up to encourage a little independence. She kept asking if it was time to get up, so she loved the clock as she didn't have to ask anymore.

missorinoco · 17/01/2012 21:24

Groclock the way ahead. DS would stay and chat in his room shortly after he got the Groclock, sometimes for up to an hour, although probably not until half seven, he usually woke by six.

These days a lie in is defined as getting up after 6, DC3 aged 11 months is playing the "I'm to small to read a clock" card.

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