Scratching pinching baby bruiser

[AgathaPinchBottom]

hi, my enormous 11 month DS is driving me bonkers and I wondered if anyone had any words of advice. The problem is that whenever I try to get him to sleep (for a nap/middle of the night/ bedtime/or just having a cuddle,) my DS likes to dig his nails into my face, neck, arms and rip my skin until I bleed. Or, he pinches the skin on my arms and neck. Although I cut his nails regularly, he still mangages to cut my lip open once a week. I'm getting v upset about it now, it's starting to make me irrationally angry. Half the night night we co sleep because he refuses to go in his cot after 2am. This means I am lying next to the monster and get attacked for at least an hour in the early hours. I've tried to change sleeping arrangements, controlled crying etc. But he is stubborn as a mule and would cry for 24 hours if he wanted. He's generally a beautiful, funny sweet boy... It's just these violent episodes that he seems to need in order to drift off to sleep - like a comfort blanket!sometimes I'm so tired I grit my teeth to the pain, so he goes to sleep quickly - but this is not the way to solve it. Last night I slapped his wrists whenever he dug his nails in, this made him stop for approx ten seconds, but he didn't even murmur. Any ideas gratefully received. Ps is this normal?

Erm, cut the child's nails for a start!!!!!

sorry misread op, keep on top of them maybe and move his hands and tell him no firmly!

I shouldn't laugh or smile, but I have to as I could have written this exact same post - phew, I'm not alone - just substitute your DS for my DD (little bit older - 12 months) and sounds like we are in same boat totally..
We have tried a soft toy and it seems to work a bit (I say a bit - I avoid the pinches whilst giving her a bottle before bed) but like you, we also seem to end up with her in our bed somewhere between 2am - 5am and I feel like I'm being attacked for the majority of that time until she's drifted off.

I'm feeling a bit anxious about her doing it to others, and she did infact really grab a friend in the face the other day and it hurts like hell so I was a bit red faced. Its nothing to do with the length of her nails it seems to be her ability to pinch aswell or just grab very strongly. She's a little bruiser..
I believe it's totally normal (or perhaps I'm just telling myself that!) and I think they are just highly expressive and inquisitive wee people - I generally think my DD is quite advanced in her development and personality and I like to think (makes me feel better anyway!) that this is just part of that.. I am trying to tell myself and DH not to react (I think that's what I read somewhere) and to just hope it will stop as quick as it started (as you say, overall she's absolutely cute and gorgeous kind and sharing) She is also prone to throwing herself on the floor and bucking hard backwards and kicking if she doesn't want to be strapped in car seat / buggy etc - again, very stubborn indeed and I try to think this is just them asserting themselves and developing faster than we expect !!
Hope this makes you feel at least it's not just your DS doing this and I shall watch this thread with interest to see if we have someone that can explain it further or offer any tips.

Oh happy joyful that has seriously cheered me up! Thank goodness it's not just me! I will try the cuddly toy - hopefully they will both grow out of it! I know about the head butting too, his poor godmother was on the receiving end of one of those and he broke her nose. He also managed to knock out my husband's tooth implant - cracked the crown apparently. Oh dear... Poor us! Do keep me posted on how things develop!

Thank u too mrs potter... Am going to pin him underneath me tonight.

Yes do give the toy a go - I literally clamp her hand around it and keep on doing so, she has been known to try and bash me with it but it does beat the pinching.. plus lock the other arm under my arm !
Good to hear I haven't got the only headbutter either.. ouch I feel their pain, I got a bruised and bloodied lip from her but think now I've become an expert at ducking such things and just have to hand her over to everyone else with a 'health warning'
Interestingly I noticed yesterday when she started to get in a 'rage' when I went to put her on the floor I carried on talking to DH and just left her 'dangling' she kicked and bucked a bit but the ignoring seemed to work..
Does your son walk yet ? I think some of it is to do with their frustration about not being able to do these things.
Keep telling yourself they are 'advanced' it certainly helps me feel better - they just want to talk and walk more than other quiet, compliant, complacent babies !

My DS does this - it really hurts! I cut his nails every day so when he does try to scratch at least it doesn't hurt so much. The pinching is harder to deal with and my upper arms are covered in little bruises.

I bought him one of those taggie comfort blankets and I try to encourage him to play with the tags instead of pinching me. He's only 6 months so doesn't understand "no", I don't know what else I can do about it.

My DD (now 2.2) was quite bad for biting (only me!) and time out really worked for her from about 9 months. I put her on the landing with all the doors and stair gate shut for 1 or 2 mins. They don't like being excluded and is a.tangible consequence of their actions. Explain what happening, they understand more than we think.

All good advice - thank you folks. What a relief I'm not the only one. Will try all of the above suggestions. He's nearly walking and he's also teething, so it could all be down to frustration mixed up with pain; double whammy. Will keep you posted. Thanks again.

Hi there, I also have a demon night pincher. He is 17mo.

I gave up breastfeeding a month ago and ever since then, he seems to use pinching as some kind of substitute to relax him before sleep. Scratching. Oh, and shoving fingers down my throat and nose. Digging in nails. Lightly slapping my face. Giggling.

I just say "no" quietly and firmly and keep taking his hands away. It takes ages but he eventually gives up. But it can take 40 minutes of him abusing me before he drops off.

The only good thing is that he never pinches, scratches or hits at any other time. He is very good natured at nursery and never apparently lashes back at other kids. He never does any of this stuff to me by day. So I suspect with my DS, it's some kind of nighttime boundary testing or something......but who knows???!!!??? You are not alone.

Ah good to hear there are more of the little bruisers out there ! Like you rubyroo, I too was worried it was going to manifest itself at other times but seems to only be related to sleep time..

Teething here too Agatha, so yes hadn't thought about some sort of 'pain management' process.
Had forgotten we have one of those taggie things, perhaps will dig that out aswell.
Whenever we get the grabbing face attack, we are calmly (not easy!) trying to say things like 'no softly' and take her and and stroke it against the cheek, and she does now seem to grasp that approach.
I guess these aren't the only things that are going to test our patience, tolerance and pain thresholds in years to come..
Certainly nice to feel am not alone though does make all the difference.

we'll have to start a comparing bruises, injuries and pinches gallery !

DD 8 months was very pinchy/scratchy with me & CM - and she is incredibly strong. We have both been saying NO to her firmly and moving her hands (or her whole self if necessary) and it has actually worked. She's still very strong and pinches occasionally but is much much improved. We have to keep her nails super short.

It was getting to the point where I was considering stopping BF as I was covered in scratches and bruises and was also getting upset/angry about being constantly attacked & feeling upset and worn out about it. I'm so happy things have improved I can't tell you.

So my advise is a firm NO, (certainly no laughter/smiles) and move him away if he continues - just for a short while. Then resume cuddles and repeat if he does it again. Babies can learn.

Could you try a sleepsuit with built in scratch mitts (from Sainsburys and Next, among others) instead of pyjamas? Or would that not work/be possible for some glaringly obvious reason I can't see, as my ds is only 15 weeks?

Hi feather I don't know if they do the built-in scratch mitts on older kid suits but my DS uses his hands at night to get a drink of water from by his bed and so on. So it wouldn't be practical. Plus he can get out of bed now and I'd worry it would make him find it harder to balance getting out of his bed if he didn't have his hands free.

Oh and my DS hated scratch mitts from quite early on as he liked to feel things so he would probably object quite heavily to someone confining his hands at this age.

Shame though as it would be nice to stop the pinching for a while!