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Original poster

How unsettling is moving to a 2 yo?

19 replies

Hayls · 17/01/2006 13:07

Dd will be 2 in a couple of weeks and there are a few things we want to sort out

moving her into a bed
weaning off dummy at bedtime
evenutaly toilet training (but not urgent- can wait till summer
we'd like to have another baby this year (fingers crossed) IS this too much for somebody her age to deal with without contemplating moving house as well?

Question is whether we should do these before or after we move, which should hopefully be within the next 2 months or so.

Any tips on how to make moving unstressful for her? How can we settle her in properly? She is very confident in social situations and new environments so I'm hoping she'll be Ok but any words of wisdom would be much appreciated. She sleeps well wherever we go and loves exploring but I'm worried about how she'll react when she realises she's not going home again

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waterfalls · 17/01/2006 13:15

My dts were 6 weeks off their 2nd birthday when we moved and they settled in right away with no problems, at that age they tend to forget very quickly, plus with your funiture etc it will be a familiar surrounding.

We moved dts from cot to bed within 2 weeks of moving, and they took to that vey well too.

So from experience I would say move first before tackling the rest

foxinsocks · 17/01/2006 13:17

I would talk up her new room and any other new factors about where you are moving (like a new playground, new park etc.) so it all sounds quite exciting.

I think dd was about 2-3 when we last moved and I honestly don't remember her being phased at all.

PrincessPeaHead · 17/01/2006 13:17

not in the slightest, from memory. my ds moved at 2.2months. we moved him into a bed into the new house (kept the cot in his room for a couple of weeks to put him in to curb his initial night wanderings!). he was potty trained that summer and had a new baby later that year.

they take EVERYTHING in their stride at that age. as long as you and your dh are there she won't notice anything else. within a week she will have forgotten where you lived before. they live very much in the moment at that age!

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Pidge · 17/01/2006 13:22

When my dd was 2 we moved house, almost immediately went on two 10 day holidays with a only a fortnight in between, and moved her out of the nursery she'd been in since 6 months over to a childminder she'd never met. Amazingly she barely batted an eyelid. Oh and I got pregnant at the same time, and spent 3 months trying not to throw up or lying on the sofa complaining about it!

I would say - talk to her lots about what is going to happen, but only when it's definitely happening, and only within a week or two of it happening.

Also avoid changing the things you don't have to change. With potty training I would just wait till she really shows she's ready, then you won't have to take much action at all, it will just happen. My dd started showing an interest a couple of months after the house move and shift to childminder and it just happened without a huge effort.

As for the bed - is there any reason to move her now? If you're nervous about changing too much at once, and if she's happy in her cot, you could leave it till after she's used to a new house. Again we left that change until dd1 was 2.5 and the baby was due a couple of months later.

Not sure about the dummy, as no experience. I guess there are arguments both ways. Sorry not hugely helpful that is it!

Anchovy · 17/01/2006 13:28

When DS was 2.6 we moved house, he started at nursery school, I went back to work after maternity leave with DD and DH had to go on a business trip to Paris for 5 days all within about 2 weeks of each other. Not what I would have chosen, but each one was unmoveable so we just got on with it. (Fortunately we had the same nanny working with us for the whole time). DS was absolutely fine with pretty much all of these - and certainly the new house/old house thing was the easiest. He was a bit wobbly about starting nursery school, but I think he is the sort of child who always would be. Also, for about 2 weeks when I used to put my coat on he always used to say "Mummy is your office/Waitrose/the gym [wherever I was going] in....FRANCE?" But really, not much problem at all.

My mother has a theory that when you change something you might as well chuck a couple of other changes in for good measure, which I think I agree with. We got DS sleeping in a big bed on holiday, for example, which worked a treat as it was something completely different rather than his cot bed without the sides on IYSWIM.

Helen38 · 17/01/2006 13:42

We moved when ds1 was 2.3 and i was 4 mth pg.
He was fine, I left potty training untill after the move partly as didn't want people looking around my house i was trying to sell with damp patches on the carpets
Kids of that age just get on with whatever you chuck at them i think.

Em32 · 17/01/2006 14:02

I'd say move first (explain what is happening, you'd be surprised how much they understand IMO) wait a bit then move her into a bed. Get her used to the idea of a bed by putting her in yours, reading to her in it etc and making it fun. DO NOT wait to put her into a bed until you are a)visibly pregnant or b)just before the baby is born or just after. We just put ds into a bed five months after dd was born (he is nearly 2) and he's very pleased about it. Potty training I'd leave as long as possible but again either do it well before a second baby is born or well after. Dummies I don't know about. She sounds similar in temperament to our ds and he was fine with our move once he saw all his things. Didn't really bat an eyelid.

Passionflower · 17/01/2006 14:11

Agree PPH. We moved when DD1 was 2.4 new baby etc etc. No probs.

Original poster

Hayls · 17/01/2006 15:32

Thanks everybody, you've reassured me. Think I'll have more troule adjusting to it all than dd will!

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Lilliput · 17/01/2006 16:16

We moved house the week of dd's 2nd birthday and it was not the move that unsettled her it was the preparations, packing up her room and things. In retropect I did this too early before the move, I was trying to be organised as I was also 8 months pregnant. But as soon as her room was unpacked and she had her things around her again she stopped being weird. I kept her in her cot until the baby needed it and I did a straight swop, no easing her into the idea of a big bed, she was fine. I potty trained her in the summer at 2.5 with not too many problems and she is great with little brother. Go with the flow with the dummy, maybe big girl's bed first then dummy fairy once she happy with her bed.

purpleturtle · 17/01/2006 16:30

Could you do the cot to bed change to coincide with the move?

We sold our house in August last year and have moved about a fair bit since. Ds is 3 today. He has coped brilliantly with all the disruption, as has dd (nearly 5). They worry far less than we do, because they are still oblivious to potential problems.

Having said all that, I potty trained ds in a week last August (about a week before we moved out of our house). He lasted a month or so, but gave up completely about a fortnight into the trip to Australia. Now I'm waiting till we're in our own place again (early next month) to have another bash.

eidsvold · 18/01/2006 00:53

we moved from the UK to Australia just before dd1 ( who has down sydnrome) turned 2 and she was fine. She moved from the only house she had known to 2 weeks at grandparents then a week in Singapore and then 2 weeks at my mum's house and then into our house. I then had dd2 4 months later.

She coped fine. Loved exploring the various new places - loved it when we moved into our home - she jsut kept exploring every room and loved it. We quickly made new friends - she got to see relatives she had never met, some she had seen the year before. Adored dd2 and thought it was fab to have a real baby to cuddle.

I would probably do them after you move - eg. she moved out of a cot ( in the UK) into a bed in Australia. Toilet training wait til the summer. Dummy let her have it for now - some comfort and something familiar associated with bedtime.

Hattie05 · 18/01/2006 01:06

Not unsettling in the slightest! My dd thought it was great, we had moved to a bigger house, where at last she had her own bedroom and nice parks that we could walk to every day. From the moment she stepped into the new home she loved it.

I appreciate you are concerned because of other factors involved, but really i think the house move won't affect her, sometimes one change can be a good time to make other changes e.g. telling her you're all moving to a better house, where she'll have a really special grown up girls bedroom where she won't need a dummy or a nappy anymore. And because she is so grown up she can choose how to decorate the room!

MrsMills · 18/01/2006 08:15

We moved to Sweden a few weeks ago, ds2 turns 2 on Saturday. I don't even thinks he's noticed we've moved.
Before he came to his new home, we had already unpacked and set his room up. He got a guided tour and there's honestly not been a problem. They are so resiliant at that age. We now have a similar list to yours, dummy, toilet training etc, but by doing them gradually and when they're ready, I'm not at all ocncerned, and neither should you be.

Good luck!

Original poster

Hayls · 18/01/2006 08:57

Thanks for all the advice. Hopefully we can have a few days overlap between the houses so we can at least get dd's room sorted out before she moves in. I think my sis and brother will come and stay for a few days to help with t he move and dd so she will be too excited to notice what's going on! Am going to leave dummy and bed for a couple of months.
x

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Piffle · 18/01/2006 09:00

agree with move first then pursue all else.
We moved (in Spet 04) when dd was 23 mths, we waited until the summer before toilet training and she was dry all day and nap times in a week.
DD never missed a beat moving house, we kept her in her cot and moved her into a bed when she was 28 mths and she was absolutely fine.
Also if you are pregnant moving is horrid...

Original poster

Hayls · 18/01/2006 09:16

TY- I am very reassured. Chances are we'll move before I'm pg as I'm sure it won't happen straight away!

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ghosty · 18/01/2006 09:27

Hayls, agree with everyone in that moving first is the best idea.
We moved to NZ when DS was 2yrs 4 mths and I will be honest and say that it wasn't an easy transition for him ... but then we did have months of upheaval.
First our house in the UK was packed up
Then DH left
Then DS and I had 1 week at my sister's house followed by 2 weeks at my parents.
Then the whole 24 hour flight etc
Then 6 weeks at FIL's house ... nightmare
Then 4 months in rented house with not much gear
Then bought a house but he was in the spare room with boxes for ... ahem ... 5 months ... until we finally got his room sorted ...
And his sleep was awful as a result ...
But when we moved last year there was no bother as we went from one house to another and sorted kids stuff out first ... they settled no problem so if it is just a matter of moving house it shouldn't be that difficult ... just don't emigrate

Original poster

Hayls · 18/01/2006 09:31

LOl Ghosty- you can almost see our new house from the back of our old (current) one so definitely not emigrating!

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