Toddler Reins

[Yesmynameis]

I have found one or two past threads about this but not for a couple of years.

So I just wondered, what do people think of reins, do people use them anymore? I know quite a few mums of toddler age children and don't know anyone who uses them. Plus I have never seen anyone out and about with them.

So my question is... how else do you manage with a 14mo toddler who is a) reluctant to hold hands b) moves pretty quickly c) doesn't want to pay any attention to the general direction of travel? Surely not using them would be dangerous, but clearly others are managing pretty well without...

Would I be better persevering without them for the short term, or are they they ok to use

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MNHQ

DD1 was an early walker and pretty much from the moment she took her first steps, categorically (and extremely vocally) refused to get into a buggy.

Backpack reins were a godsend. I don't care if people think it's like having a dog on a lead. At 12 months she had much less sense than your average labrador.

I really don't understand why looking like a dog on a lead is a BAD thing? Surely a dog is on a lead to aid control and keep it safe? I wouldn't have walked my parent's lurcher next to a road without a lead because he chased anything that ran; first cat or squirrel would have had him under a car or causing an accident. So he was taken out daily for a huge run on fields too, but a lead for next to roads.

Same with DS. He gets to run and explore in wide open places, but next to roads he has a lead to stop him rushing to a puddle or to see a moving car or bus he likes the look of. He's 19 months, looks well over 2 with his height and loves being on his feet. I usually have his 3 year old sister with us and I can't be chatting to her and watching his every move, the lead lets us wander along together, safe, slighty independent and tiring him out for bed!

"I really don't understand why looking like a dog on a lead is a BAD thing?"

Exactly. Besides...there aren't that many differences between dogs and toddlers :)

My dc's thought reins were great fun, "Mummy you are the mummy dog and we are the baby dogs!!".

Nosy old bat in post office told me ''I dont believe in children on leads''
''I don't believe in children under buses'' Said I.

I have reins for DS3. We bought them primarily so that he could sit on DH's wheelchair which he absolutely loves. DH was worried if he hit a bump DS might fall off or might try and jump down. DS3 is also a bolter which I did not experience with DS1 and 2 but I would have used reins with them if necessary. I have many memories of mothers sprinting wildly after escapees, often amusing but equally as often often dangerous and alarming as they head for the road.

Reins are brilliant. I hate to strap a child into a puschair when they can happily walk and reins mean you can cope with bolting. But then I had a 10 month old who skipped walking and ran. Everywhere. And wasn't so good at stopping.

Hell yes, I use reins. My daughter (21 months) is far happier having that bit more freedom of movement to waltz round me, and not having to concentrate on holding my hand. The only opposition I've ever come across is some wishy-washy stuff about how I'm treating her like a dog. No, I'm treating her like a toddler. I strap her into her pushchair and high chair so she can't hurt herself, and I keep her on reins when we walk through hazardous places for exactly the same reason. As soon as she's ready for more independence, I'll retire the reins, but for now when we walk along the street or by the harbourside in our city, I am going to keep her happy and safe. Reins do both.

I will be using reins for DC1 (due March). I have very vivid memories of my DB running off in a crowded shopping centre on busy Saturday, aged 2. Anything could have happened to him. It took us half an hour to find him again. DM was holding his hand, but it was hot and his hand was sweaty, and he managed to wriggle free.

This kind of thing happened constantly. A toddler cannot learn about road/crowd safety - they haven't the understanding yet. Plus you can carry bags and still loop the reins around your wrist - a major plus with no car!

My mum used them with me and my brother as do i now.
It's the same as strapping a baby into a buggy in terms of being restrained and safety. They may not like it temporarily, but it is not harming them and actually prevents harm. You are doing them a favour along with giving them the feeling of limited liberation, but it is certainly not cruel if used as intended.

We had them. I'm strongly in favour. Gives a child far more independence than hand-holding ime and far less risk of damage to arms if they suddenly throw themselves forward.

Another vote for Littlelife backpacks - I used the one with the little built in rain hood as well for my daughter (now 3 and a half) and they're great. She still uses the backpack now, minus the rein, for carrying her things back and forth to nursery.

I'm not a fan of the wrist strap ones, it always looks like a dislocation waiting to happen to me, but that is a completely unfounded observation and I can't judge because I've never used one. I completely understand the need to use reins, 'unethical' or not, surely they're better than an injured (or worse) child who's run off?

Just to break with the apparent MN reins trend, i don't use them and don't intend to. I don't have strong opinions on those who choose to use them, but i choose not to. DS is 22 mo but the city we live in is very green with lots of parks, gardens and children's play areas. We walk him to these safe places in his buggy and when we get there he has free rein (pun intended) to do as he pleases. At the moment we're concentrating on teaching him boundaries by saying loudly and clearly "stop" when he's roaming too far (though clearly we don't let him do this near roads!) He understands, sometimes he listens, others he doesn't, but he's learning to recognise the boundaries for himself.

My CM uses reins on him and her other children when out and about, but she has several of the same age so quite frankly i don't blame her and certainly don't ask her not to use them on DS. But we have one DS, find it easy to keep an eye on him and like him to have the freedom when possible to go off and explore - we just keep a close eye on him. I don't understand why people use them on toddlers in child friendly places like parks and farms, unless they have several DCs of a similar age and don't want them bolting in opposite directions. I haven't yet lost DS or had to un-squish him from the road.

DS loves his animal backpack. It is a panda with a detachable long tail which I hold and he leads me about. He has a favorite panda which he loves and which stays indoors and his backpack is also a panda, called 'outside panda'. He brings me outside panda when he wants to go outside and run about. He is far too active to sit in a buggy and a wanderer and bolter so thank goodness for his reins.

I have had some funny looks as people here think they are for dogs but I've also had parents beg me to tell them where I got them from.

One person told me I should be ashamed and it was an offend against God! I asked her if she was a Christian and then referred her to the book of Hosea, in which God talks about loving Israel as a little child, teaching him to walk safely on reins and bending down to feed him tidbits. That shut her up (am an expat on a small very religious island and grateful I did Theology A level many years ago!)

Offence, not offend, silly iPad.

Oh yeah, DS is 21 months and has been dashing about since he turned one.

I use reins with my son who was 2 in May because I have epilespy and have absence seizures daily so for me not to use them would be dangerous as he might wonder in to a road without me being aware and therefore not able to grab him back. If you feel it necessary to keep your child safe then give them a go x

"At the moment we're concentrating on teaching him boundaries by saying loudly and clearly "stop" when he's roaming too far (though clearly we don't let him do this near roads!) He understands, sometimes he listens, others he doesn't, but he's learning to recognise the boundaries for himself."

Unfortunately not all small children are as biddable as yours. Also not all parents are short enough to be able to hold their child's hand without having to stoop.

We used reins because:
We are both tall and holding hands was just too uncomfortable
We lived on an unmade up road and reins kept DD upright when she stumbled and prevented her from hitting the ground and ending up with grazed knees and hands
The road we lived on had no pavement
DD was excellent at wriggling her hand out of mine and in order to stop her doing it I would have hurt her.

The fact that the road wasn't made up would have made a very uncomfortable bumpy ride in a pushchair and we wanted to encourage DD to walk at a very early age and for us reins were the only practical solution.

Threads about reins come along pretty frequently and I often see posts from parents who vow they have never used and will never use reins, then their second child comes along and they are completely different from the first one and reins are necessary, so my advice is to never say never.