Why do I find it so draining to spend time with my DC's?

[PotterAndHisWand]

I have 3 DC's age 1, 3 and 6. DH is at home a lot at the moment and I am a SAHM. Even though DS2 is at nursery for 3 hours every weekday morning and DS3 is at school I still feel really drained by 5 0-clock, much more so than when I was working.

I'm fine spending time with one DC at a time but find it so hard with all three of them wanting my attention in different way and get quite irritable, to the point I snap at them and just want to lock myself in the bathroom.

I feel like a terrible Mother and that I am not coping even though I have a relativley easy life. I just find it so hard to give them my attention, what the hell is wrong with me?

It's really hard work, and you can't just go for a break when you need one like you can in many jobs.

Most parents feel like that I think, don't we?

I'm sure you're a great mother!

you're not terrible at all, i'm exactly the same with my two. One thing i've really found that makes the day run more smoothly and happily is making a rough schedule for the day (do it the night before and then you won't have to plan things first thing), in which you pencil in at least one fun activity (painting, having races in the back garden or whatever) preferably scheduled in at about 10am or whenever suits you, which should make it prior to nap times etc... i can't tell you how much better the days are when i do this as opposed to the days when I don't!

Because children are BORING. Yes, they are lovely and cute and you wouldn't be without them, but no I DON'T want to see what your Moshi Monster is doing, I want to have my coffee and read the paper.

They like doing very different things to adults. It is hard work. You need a break from time to time. You are quite normal.

I feel like this sometimes (DCs 5, 2.10 and 3 mo).

The irritability/snapping thing is a vicious circle. I find if I really throw myself into the game (lego, puzzles, whatever) then I start to quite enjoy it, and when they've had some undivided, happily given attention, they leave me alone for a bit afterwards. The big two anyway... Little one, not so much.

I just feel like I really need a few hours to myself, even though I do have time to myself in the day I'm always 'on duty' and by the evening I'm tired and just want to read the paper and drink a cup of tea in peace... I feel like such a horrible bitch as all they want me to do is read to them or talk to them but I feel like putting earplugs in when their games get noisy and myyoungest is pulling at my legs as I've put him down for 2 minutes....

You are not a horrible bitch. You are entitled to some time to do adult things or you will go made. There isnsomething goodmin the times tomorrow about French parents, they are less involved than English parents and consequently enjoy the process more. Benign neglect is a good thing I think.

Sorry iPad typing. Hope you can read that.

Your not a terrible mother. I'm sure we all have felt at time 'just 5 minutes, give me 5 minutes peace please!'
I only have one DS at 18 months, so i can't really compare to havin three, but he is at that stage where I cannot leave him for thirty seconds before he's climbed a bookcase or rummaging in cupboards. I love him more than anything, and would never wish he wasnt here, but its absolutely normal to want some 'me' time.
OP, you sound like a brilliant mother, and the fact that all three children want your attention is a sign that your a fun mum :)

You need to find a way to get a few hours to yourself then, for everyone's sake.

Have you read What Mothers Do (Especially when it looks like nothing)? It describes what is so exhausting about giving all your attention and patience to young children all day compared to work.

I agree with Spero, I love my DS more than anything but my heart sinks when he says 'Mum, will you come and play cars with me'. Oh God the boredom! I would rather do almost any task including cleaning the toilet than have to play cars or rockets or watch even 5 mins of Thunder Birds. I also get very irritable with his constant asking 'why' (he's 3), I have to remain calm otherwise I would loose the plot.

I now get out of playing by saying I am too busy but asking if he would like to help me do the washing up or laundry etc.

If you're a bitch then so am I !

Ds has just turned 5 and dd is 16 months, I love them more than anything and more than I could have ever imagined BUT they're exhausting.

Tbh dd just potters around and apart from stopping her doing things like climbing / eating random things etc she's not too bad but ds wants me to play and I always get it wrong and he wants me to build lego and tbh I'd rather gouge my own eyes out. He's so earnest thought and so cute and lovely but he's just so intense and never.stops.talking.

He's my boy though and I wouldn't change him for the world.

I have just read the stuff in the Times about French parenting and am very tempted to buy the book. I like their principle of equiblibrium; you have to balance all the stuff in your life. So the French generally don't follow the Anglophone practice of full on immersion with their children but equally were horrified when Racida Dati (sp?) went back to work after five days.

I so understand and sympathise with the horribleness of being asked to play with Lego etc. When I was roped into playing 'schools' with about 20 baby dolls the minutes used to drag out like hours. But one trick someone told me/I read in some parenting manual was that you can do anything for 15 mins, just throw yourself into it, the 15 mins will go quite quickly and you have a happy child. It generally worked - if I could give my daughter 15 mins of undivided and enthusiastic attention, she then seemed quite happy to be fobbed off for the next hour or so.

U have ds1 4, ds2 2.7 and dd 3 mths. Horrendous times at present. The constant "mummy look at me", tantrums "play with me" "read this". I spend all day on edge feeling sick. The baby is a light sleeper - everything wakes her especially the 2 year olds whinging voice ( he has just woken her from a nap )

It is draining because you can't ever switch off.

I have 4dc. 3 are at school full time and the youngest (2 & 1/2) is at home with me. It was our decision for me to be a sahm. I don't want to work (tried p/t work for a while between dc3 and 4 - bloody nightmare!).

BUT it is relentless. And dull for a lot of the time. And children are by nature 'selfish' so it is all about them. I suspect many would nod knowingly at my horrifically hairy underarms and legs because I haven't had chance for 15mins in the bathroom to defuzz without at least one of them wanting to know what I am doing or dc4 getting into mischief...

But I wouldn't change it for the world!!

Haha and as if to prove my point, while I have been distracted on here, dc4 had just turned up with a carton of milk and a cup...