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Original poster

When does not being dry at night become a problem?

25 replies

WigWamBam · 16/01/2006 20:17

My dd will be 5 in May, and is still wearing nappies at night time. The nappy is always sodden in the morning, and she's definitely not ready to be dry yet. I'm not concerned about this at the moment as both dh and I were late being dry at night and it does run in families; I also know that there's a hormone that kicks in to suppress urination overnight and until that happens she will struggle to be dry.

Dh was wondering, though, when it starts to be something to be concerned about and wanted me to ask the "fount of all knowledge" - you lot! My HV said once that I ought to take her to the GP for referral to a continence specialist if she was still wet at night by the age of 5, but that seems a bit early to be worrying to me.

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harpsichordcarrier · 16/01/2006 20:20

yes I would agree that five seems young to be concerned
I really disagree with all the pressure to stop "wetting the bed" with alarms etc etc so I personally would delay as long as possible
I suppose the time to worry about it would be if/when she wants to stay somewere overnight without you - then she might be embarrassed
I read somewhere (? Toddler Taming I think) that one in ten children are still not dry at night at age five

Gingerbear · 16/01/2006 20:21

So long as my DD is out of nighttime nappies by the time she goes to Uni, it doesn't worry me.
Seriously, I think 6 or 7?? There have been threads before, hang, will have a look...

harpsichordcarrier · 16/01/2006 20:22

yes I have seven in mind...
don't know why though

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HRHQueenOfQuelNoel · 16/01/2006 20:22

Well - I took DS1 to the dr.s just before Christmas to talk about some incontinence issues during the day (now sorted again thankfully) - and he told me flat out that he wouldn't even consider it to be a problem still being in nappies at night until he was 7. DS1 was 5 in September - and he's always absolutely sodden his nappy.

mummytosteven · 16/01/2006 20:23

Have a look on the Eric website. I think its 7 rather than 5 they would start being concerned about it. IIRC about 1 in 10 eleven year olds still arent fully dry at night.

sunchowder · 16/01/2006 20:23

I kept my dd in diapers at night till she was 5 1/2 --she wasn't a good sleeper, so I didn't want to even try to train her at night. She trained at about 2 for number 1 and kept dry all day. It took about six more months for Number 2! I did the same with my stepson and kept him in diapers until he was almost 6 at night. I never made an issue out of it. After they woke up with a dry diaper for about two weeks, I had them try without. Hopefully you will get lots more advice on this. I know what it is like to be worried.

Original poster

WigWamBam · 16/01/2006 20:24

Seven sounds more likely than 5 to me. I don't want to start getting involved with alarms and things before we really have to. I'd like to try and keep it as low key as possible, but dh remembered the HV saying 5, and has been muttering about whether we ought to do anything about it yet.

OP posts:

Gingerbear · 16/01/2006 20:24

this thread?

roisin · 16/01/2006 20:25

Most GPs will do very little until they're 7. Ds1 was 2 months off 5 before he was dry at night, and went from sodden to stone dry literally overnight at that point. With ds2 I was more patient, but I waited and waited and waited. In my mind I had 6 as the point at which I would start to worry. In actual fact it was a couple of months after his 6th birthday before he was dry, but again the change was very sudden, and pretty conclusive.

So I know it's difficult, but try to relax and wait til she's ready.

harpsichordcarrier · 16/01/2006 20:26

yes LOW KEY that's the thing to aim for imho
it ain't a problem until you make it a problem I reckon

Original poster

WigWamBam · 16/01/2006 20:26

This isn't our first nappy issue, which I think is why dh is a bit twitchy about it. She wasn't dry in the day until she was nearly 3, and still had a nappy to poo in until she was almost 4 (she had real issues about using the toilet for a poo). I think that's actually all the more reason for keeping it low key, to be honest ... dh isn't quite so sure!

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roisin · 16/01/2006 20:29

WWB I found it did help to set myself a point in time, before which I wouldn't worry. Though as the date loomed on the horizon (and then passed!) I did get rather twitchy again

Feistybird · 16/01/2006 20:29

I think it may only be a problem (for her)when/if sleepovers start or if you went on hols with other families/kids.

HRHQueenOfQuelNoel · 16/01/2006 20:31

WWB - DS1 was the same - trained (by my choice - not his - but didn't want him to start nursery still in nappies as he's a september baby and I had DS2 due) 3 weeks before his 3rd birthday. Took about 2 weeks for it to 'click' at all about using the toilet (hated the potty). No. 2's were still ending up in the pants as late as the beginning last year (so well over 4).

melbob · 16/01/2006 20:34

My DN who is 6 still uses nappies,. GP told DS to wait until he was 7

Original poster

WigWamBam · 16/01/2006 20:40

7 it is then! I can't see much point in stressing about it at the moment anyway, she's not able to do it and you can't force these things, but from her point of view I guess things like sleepovers are going to be difficult until she's dry. A bridge to cross when I come to it though.

Thank you

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Socci · 16/01/2006 20:42

Message withdrawn

petunia · 16/01/2006 20:57

I had the same thing with DD when she was 4 1/2 and she was still in nappies at night. When she started school, her toilet training went completely and her teacher got hooked on to one of the reasons being that she was still in nappies at night (no, I don't know how she worked that out either!) So I ended up contacting my HV and she told me they don't start to worry about night time wetting/nappies until child is 7. DD was 5 when she started being dry at night. The H/v told us not to use those night-time nappies but to use bed-mats and put them on top of the sheet (I think I used 2 cross-ways because 1 doesn't quite fit width ways). We also used to put her on the toilet around 11pm and then she'd usually be OK 'til the morning.

Original poster

WigWamBam · 16/01/2006 22:29

Petunia, we still use nappies (ordinary ones rather than the night time things) because it stresses dd out when she wets the bed - she asked to try to go without nappies once and it was a huge mistake because she got so upset when she woke up wet. She isn't the sort of child who would respond well to lifting either, so I don't really want to get started on that!

Socci, it's interesting that your neice's friends are so accepting of it - and very sweet of them too.

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Orinoco · 16/01/2006 22:46

Message withdrawn

QE2 · 16/01/2006 22:50

WWB - dd has had continence problems all her life (and she's 14 now). All related to serious kidney abnormality and dodgy bladder. Even with her condition we were told that they wouldn't start treatment for her until 7 or 8 years of age.

I think you're right with it running in families and at 5 it's a little early to start worrying. So long as there is no underlying medical condition (?) I think you need not worry for a year or two yet.

paolosgirl · 16/01/2006 22:55

We've just been through the same thing with DD, who's 6. Her nappies (sorry, pull-ups ) are soaking in the morning, and we were referred to the paediatric dept in case there was a problem with her kidneys, but there wasn't.

They said that until the age of 7, they don't consider it to be a problem, and so won't do anything until then.

NotaStrongWomanMe · 16/01/2006 23:42

I have really enjoyed reading this thread. My DS1 is 3 1/2 and wears pull ups at night. He is nowhere near ready to stop wearing them. However, all of his peers are dry and a few of my friends/family have made comments that perhaps it's about time he stopped. I'm definitely not worrying about it now though!

Hope you are encouraged by the posts WWB

Original poster

WigWamBam · 17/01/2006 10:15

The thread has certainly helped me to feel as if I'm justified in not wanting to make a big thing about it. Dh was just a bit concerned because of the comments that the HV made last year.

This morning dd cried because her nappy was so wet, it upsets her that she's weeing in the night and doesn't know she's doing it. She's started getting up for a wee half an hour after she goes to bed, seeingly because she thinks that will stop her from weeing in the night - but of course it doesn't. We've never told her off for being wet, we have always made sure she knows that it's OK, but she knows herself that she's quite old to be wearing nappies at night and it seems to be making her unhappy that she does. But it would make her even more unhappy not to have a nappy and to wet the bed instead.

OP posts:

katyp · 23/01/2006 12:07

Any ideas about what to do if a child wants to stop wearing pull-ups at night but is not ready? Ds is 4.6, dry during the day since he was 3.2. I would much prefer him to stay in pull-ups rather than deal with wet sheets and quilt every day but I think he is starting to feel self-conscious now that he is at school. His pull-up is very rarely dry in the morning so I don't think he is ready. We tried going without again a few days ago and it didn't work - but he was in denial that he has wet the bed and said he just sweated a lot! When he last wanted to stop wearing them when he was 3 and a bit, I used to put one on after he had fallen asleep. Any views on whether or not "lifting" is worth a go? He doesn't wake up during the night saying he is wet so I suspect it happens just before he wakes in the morning.

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