please can someone clear up once and for all how extended breasfeeding is viewed from a child protection point of view?

[StealthPolarBear]

Is ebf initself considered a concern? Is there any official guidance?

No official guidelines, which I actually think is a g

Hmm. I would really like a social worker to come on and clarify. I used to work in a sw environment in a support role, and we all had to do basic cp training. It was much as you'd expect, and very useful. No mention of any of that stuff. But of course it was basic training.

Bugger.

Good thing. It allows social workers to look at a family and the child's welfare as an individual situation rather than having a blanket policy of stating a rather arbitrary decision rather than what works (and doesn't) for different families.

I'm not a sw but have come into contact with children with child protection issues and extended bf was never one of the issues raised

birdsofshoreandsea Christ, that's a scarey list. At least we eat meat

Oh I completely agree Yeah. If child protection was a ticklist process anyone could do it. But extended breastfeeding is something that many many people have strong feelings about, and quite often these feeling run counter to the 'offficial' advice. I could be wrong but I feel this would divide good social workers more than the issue of say, what is a clean enough house. So if there is a particular social worker who, because of their own prejudices, feels that bf pas the age of say 4 is abusive, there should be something official to say that on its own is not. Of course if the children are fed nothing but bm and bean sprouts at the age of 5 in an attempt to keep their diet 100% organic and unprocessed then that is abusive, and the feeding is part of that, I agree.

I was thinking that ommmm :o I'm vegi but kids aren't. And mine watch enough TV to ba;ance out anything else. Plus I don't think shouting GET YOUR TROUSERS ON NOW counts as speaking to them as equals

Much less concern than I thought really, though in principle I'd love to be the sort of mother birds describes.

That's a shocking list birds.

Since when did unconventional = abusive?? Jeez.

In defence of SW (am not one)
There is a school of thought / research that it is preferable for school-age children to have their own (relatively clean and made up) bed.
Home ed has been used as a lie by parents who cannot be bothered to make their kids go to school / take them there / wash their uniforms etc.

Have never heard any SW say anything about extended BF and know several that have BF to toddlerdom. Never heard anything about vegetarianism or TV / lack of either.

I am a sw and would consider each case individually. To be honest I would probably not make any judgements about it but just acknowledge it in my assessment. As speaking to HV is part of each assessment, to be honest most sw would take the opinion of the HV regarding it.

Only time I have seen it as a problem is similar to what the OP said, when a mum was not feeding their child enough food, and the child was dropping massively in weight (aged about 2.5).

Thanks mingle that is helpful

Why the post????

Yes what prompted the question? Never occurred to me their may be an issue

I'm glad this has been posted as the whole area needs exploring more.

My children are on a child in need form due to me having PND with my first child and now having a second and my DH being disabled. The reason we were reported to ss are:

1. Co-sleeping with our 2.5 yo
2. Bf said 2.5yo
3. Clean and dirty washing (in seperate baskets) in front of washing machine in kitchen
4. Dirty dishes by the sink (ready to be washed up) - (there is a safety gate between the livingroom and kitchen and the children are never in the kitchen alone ever but they ignored this fact)

SW told me she has a duty to investigate any case that is reported to do a 34 day assessment that was 3 months ago and we have only seen her 2 times! The report that she did all the info was taken off the caf form and most of the info was over two yares old or just wrong.

Our HV also told us to get rid of the guinea pigs out of the house as "SS would make us get rid of them"! I guess she does not like pet rodents!

With the PND the HV told me to go see the MHN as i was too happy after the birth of my newborn DD.

• That you can breastfeed without having an attactment to your child

• Children do not self-wean from breastfeeding (my son did in June)

I could go on but the most disappointing aspect of the whole thing is that the HV and SW released private info about my background to my son's nursary that i did not give them permission to disclouse, had no relavence in the case and broke the data protection act as i only signed the form in the understanding that the information in some places was not discloused to my son's nursary.

Appointments with the SW are made at short notice and at inappropriate times such as tea time when we are in the middle of the bed time routine - but then we are critaised for not having routines in place but worse is when we change the rountine to acommadate her and then she calls at the time she should be here to tell us she is not coming.

Nothing is in writing and we have noone to complaine to

There needs to be more regulation and openess of this process and people need to know their rights. I feel like they are deliberatly withholding this info from us so we can't complaine or ask them to leave us alone. They are discrimating agenst me having depression with my first child and the fact that my DH is disabled as he did not sign the caf form but the info was still passed on without his signture, they are dismissing his parental responsability as he works and is disabled!

The whole thing is a joke thats just not funny.

The SW does not have children and the HV has never breastfeed.

Any human rights lawyers want to take a pro bono case let me know lol

Another thread, where someone was saying that it would be taken into account from a child protection point of view

AnAir, sorry to hear about the struggles you're having. If your children are children in need that means that your SW should be working with you to improve things. If there are timescale lapses that is fairly important. Can you ask to have a discussion with the team manager - keep it positive and constructive, say you are willing to work with them to make necessary changes, but that you are concerned at the effect the protracted process is having on your home and family life and that you would like to see some timescales in place and set some targets.

We have meetings every month (so far three, the first only i could make it, the second i was there but in labour, the third everyone was there and it was very productive but the SW handed out form with the wrong info in and broke the DPA as she put info in that i did not give permission to be released).

I have asked for SMART objectives to be put in place but it has not been done.

The only point i agree with is that our home is too small and it is untidy. I have employed a cleaner, got a dishwasher but where do other people keep the laundry they are doing if not in front of the washing machine?

I have meds for the depression that work and so far touch wood i have not had PND with my second child and i dont think i will as things have change since my first child.

I'm annoyed as every event with my newborn has been overshadowed by the presence of the proffesionals that are ment to help but are just making me feel worse.

I see no need for their involvment now as things have moved on and i do not need their help and its just a waste of resources IMO. It feels like they are just nit picking now as they can't find anything wrong. They dont believe that someone with depression and a Father who is disabled can make good parents.

Everything i say must be a lie acording to them and anything my DH does must have a depremental affect on his future health. So if your ill you shouldn't have children or you will be investigated by SS. In our case the HV and SW have not even bothered to ask DH about his condition or what he can and does do - they just hear MD and write him off.

Its discrimination hiden by shadowy processes, that families just have to accept and put up with. Its not fair and its not right.

Also the WHO recommened bf beyond 2 years of age - how can health care proffesions disregared this advice?

Why is it up to tthe parents to point this out?

There is resarech to show bf mothers bond well with their children, there is reaserech that shows its good for babies to co-sleep if done safely.

It is a matter of opioin if a house it too clean or dirty to rasie children in but no risk assessment has been done so its based on personal standards that are not the same for everyone.

Points and desired outcome are left vague on purpose so that parents do not know when a case will be closed or what the SW is after - what changes need to be made if any!

Even if i was to print out the research i doubt they would take notice of it.

I can sympathise.

Our SW reported a concern that our BLW baby was eating with his hands, not being spoonfed.
Also that the gas hob which was clean, but had some sauce splashes from one meal since cleaning, was "soiled" and cited as "neglect through failing to provide a basic level of hygiene."

You can find out the head of your SW department online (check the letters for the area) and write to them. I did this and although they still needed to do their follow up visits, the SW had a supervisor with her, and all the scaremongering ("the police wouldn't like it if they saw this clutter" by clutter, she meant toys, he was playing with) and overstepping her boundaries magically stopped. I was expecting another visit at some point, but we haven't had any contact, so I am really hoping the supervisor told her to stop being a silly mare and focus on vulnerable children, rather than hounding a very happy family who are doing quite well thank you.

I am extended bfing my 3.4 year old and luckily my SW doesn't care.
Extended bfers aren't all new age vegetarian hippes.

All my kids eat a good balanced diet it just so happens the younger two prefer bm to cows milk.

Extended breastfeeding being linked to child protection issues is laughable and probably stems from some SW worrying that the children would make a link between bm and page 3 girls.
Granted there are some extreme parents who may see bm as a complete food and bf their children and offer little else but the majority of extended bfers are sane normal people who understand about nutrition.

AnAirofhope we had our last SW refer our kids as children of need as we got overwhelmed when DC4 was due. I admit the house was untidy and their toys were always on the floor but she cited neglect as her major concern. She didn't like DD2(2) co-sleeping and the day I went into Labour they had a huge meeting about the steps they needed to take to keep my kids safe.

I later found out she was pregnant with her first and I think baby brain made her a bit uptight. I mean kids need toys and having them out on the floor means they can play with them, which the new SW agrees with. She also didn't like the fact I stored my pans on the cooker, no room in cupboards for them, and my clean pots were air-dried on the drainer.
That was nearly 2 years ago and the change in SW, a very nice one, has helped immensely. She is easier to talk to, she doesn't wrinkle her nose in disgust when she walks in and understands how 4 kids, 1 disabled makes life hard work.
She visits us often and has a habit of making ad hoc visits to see how we are doing. The house is usually worse then but she knows we are making an effort to kepp things good so she backs off. I am sure the other one would have made attempts to take the kids off us by now

co-sleeping
breastfeeding past age of 2
being vegetarian
not having a TV
home educating
speaking to the children as equals

blimey, that's a horrid list.

co-sleeping is a necessity sometimes, but this doesn't specify how old. we're co-sleeping now, but DD is only a month old, so...
DD will BF until she's ready to stop (or until it becomes impractical for the family)
DD will be vegetarian by my rules, even outside of the home, and when she's old enough to understand where meat comes from, she can decide for herself whether she'll stay veggie or not.
I'd love not to have a TV, but I'm addicted myself!
I would also love to He, but I don't think i'd have the patience, i'm afraid.
Surely speaking to the children as equals teaches them mutual respect?

co sleeping and bf an toddler were brought up as issues when social services were breathing down my neck

bastards

Can anyone say what is the matter with co-sleeping? In the opinion of social services?