How do you manage to put a toddler and a small baby to bed?

[feelingratheroverwhelmed]

Three month old and two year old. Not been here alone with them at bedtime yet as DH has always come home / turned down invites that start before 9pm, but I know I'm going to have to do it at some point! I've got another thread going about trying to get a routine for the baby (basically he's going to sleep at about 1-2am at the moment...), but at toddlers bedtime he's really clingy, wide awake and cries alot so is hard to put down, we already eat in shifts!

Also we need to get toddler straight from bath to bedroom. If he gets into the lounge at this time his bedtime is blown!

Help!

does toddler have to have a bath everynight? if not dont bother with that, just do a bit of a strip wash with a flannel and tbh i just had the baby with me, either in one arm or had a bouncy chair in the bathroom, toddlers bedroom so i could plonk them in that whilst i gave toddler a wahs, cleaned teeth, put pjs on then they can both sit and have a cuddle whilst i read a bedtime story, then tuck toddler in bed.

you could try a sling if the baby really wont be put down, do you have one? i found the close carrier good and also a moby wrap, or a ring sling is very easy and quick to put on/off, just to give you hands free to deal with the toddler :)

I am still struggling with this (nearly 3 year old and 5 month old). Have put my toddler in a bed and do the bath extra early. Then out and quickly into pjamas and I breastfeed baby to sleep while reading stories to toddler. Problem is that baby wakes up with the light and the noise aftter 30 mins on the boob and considers it a nap, did this tonight... And baby needs to go to bed about an hour before toddler so I am stuck reading stories for an hour! Good for toddler though.

So it has worked but it sometimes backfires. But the key was taking his cot sides off really so I didn't have to put him into bed while breastfeeding.

Next trick is how to teach baby to go down awake while I am dealing with a toddler.....

Also my baby was crying a lot during the toddlers bath and bedtime so I used a sling.... I have only got her going to bed in the evenings in the last month - the trick was to feeeeeeeeeed for ages in the dark and now she seems to have learnt. Nut it kind of happened naturally when she reduced her naps so needed an earlier bedtime.

It is hard. And she has been a difficult baby to get to sleep. But I think I let her get overtired. I think she should have been in the dark in the evenings much earlier. I did this with my son and he went to bed at 6pm from 3 weeks! Generally rambling but feeling sympathy for you as I was there just the other day!

I only have to do this on average twice a week (DH home more often than not), so I don't have a set routine and chop and change a bit depending on how tired they both are, but scenarios as follows:

1. My ideal scenario is very tired toddler and not tired at all baby. On nice (enough) days, achieve this by long walk towards the end of the afternoon - baby sleeps in buggy / sling and toddler gets tired out. Then I let DS2 sit on the floor (/chair / gym if younger) and watch DS1's bath / bedtime, and deal with DS2 (repeat bath and bedtime) once DS1 is asleep. This worked best until DS2 was about 6 months - he's now 8 months and it doesn't work so well, as DS2 is often the more tired one.

1. Option 2: Do bath and bedtime story together in DS1's room, then say goodnight to DS1, take DS2 to his room and feed him there. Only works if DS1 is in a reasonably co-operative mood, have had some disastrous attempts at bedtime with this (DS1 getting up repeatedly until I have finished feeding DS2 and come back to his room), but also some successful ones.

1. Option 3: for when DS1 is not particularly tired but not in a particularly co-operative mood either, and DS2 is very tired: Bath together, then DS1 gets to go into our bed and watch a dvd for 20 minuets or so while I feed DS2 and put him down. Then I can go back to DS1 and he has a "proper" bedtime with snuggles and stories. I know the dvd part is not ideal, but this is my fallback option and has really been a sanity saver at times.

It does get much easier, I promise! At your sort of stage I would absolutely dread doing bedtime on my own, but now that they both go to bed at 7ish and DS2 settles well it is much much easier.

Bf little baby, early so she doesn't fall asleep. Put her in a bouncy chair in big baby's room Get big baby ready for bed, story, song, kiss. Get little baby ready for bed. Bf again. To sleep. That's the theory. It's hard work isn't it? My DP works shifts so for a fortnight at a time isn't here at bedtimes. I've not quite got it sussed yet, DD is 5 months old

I put ds (4) and baby dd to bed solo practically every night. If they have a bath they have it together, ds stays on bath playing while I towel off dd and dress her in bathroom. Then get him out and into pjs. I bf dd while reading to ds, easiest to do this on my bed. Then dd into her cot and ds into bed and I sing to them. They share a bedroom but before they did I would leave dd. to self settle, and if she didn't I would bring her through to ds room while I sang to him. I dreaded how I would manage to settle two children but it's fine.

Poor DS1 really has his nose out of joint at the moment, I can't imagine him settling if I've got DS2 with me in the room when we're doing story and bed. Also got the added issue of definitely not being able to leave them alone togfether in the room so will need to be mega organised and not forget anything! Hats off to those of yuou who do this on a regular basis, you are my idols

You need to normalise him sharing you with the baby. No little bit could have been more of a spoiled brat darling mummy's boy than my ds but he has adapted incredibly well. Your ds will probably surprise you.

I know, you're right. It just feels that all "his" time is being eaten into at the moment, and his bedtime (usually with daddy, mummy goes in for a while to say good night) is his time...

Eagerly awaiting more responses to this as have exact same issue! DD 2.5, DS 8 weeks and bf. Today I did bath DS at lunchtime while DD out, DS play on mat while feed DD tea, DD watch TV while feed DS and me, force dummy into DS mouth and have him whinge while bath DD, feed DS while stories n bed for DD, back downstairs to feed DS into a coma. Not ideal.,. Have put a stairgate on DD's bedroom door so she can get up and read herself more stories :( she's also v doted over but coping well (better than me..)

Dcs are now 3 and 5, and with exceoptiobn to dh's holidays from work and once a week when he is hoem from work at w'end, I haveput them to bed at same time since dc2 was two week old when dh's paternity leave finished.

It was abit difficult at first but I knew I had to get used to it or end up with grandparents helping which I didn't think was really necc.

When dc2 was born, routine was (and sort of still is) upstairs at 6.15 - 6.30, put bath on (always had a safety gate at top of stairs and acros bathroom so no toddlers either ventured near stairs or hot water in the bath and I wasn't having to stnd guard at the bathroom for dc1!), got then strippe doff while bath was running at a leisurley pace and got teeth brushed, let dc1 pick own jim jams, chucked in bathtoys, can't remeber if dc1 was still in one of thse bath seats for toddlers but they are v useful if your c has a tendency to slip about! It means your hands are free for baby!
While dc1 in bath, I would wash dc2 as a baby in teh bathroom sink (line it with a small towel so not cold or too hard on baby's bum!) Dry dc2 first and leave on floor swaddled in towel while got dc1 out of bath and dressed, then dressed dc2.

Popped dc2 in cot and let dc1 loka tbooks while shot downstairs to warm milks, then bottle fed dc2 while dc1 drank milk, read story to dc1 with dc2 on my knee, put dc2 in cot, then went with dc1 in their bedromand had 10 min or so one to one time reading some more books and cuddled.

sounds a bit regimented but t worked and we generally stil have the same routine, its just easier when they can stick their own jim jams on and sit together for a story!

I almost started a thread like this. DS1 is 3.5yr and DS2 13wks.

Bath - 7.30 both of them in.
Get dressed at the same time with me constantly on at hyper ds1 to get dry and dressed. Bed for ds1 with stories with ds2 on knee with bottle if he's whinging. Kisses and cuddles for DS1 then into my room with DS2 for milk and bed.

From the day we came home from the hospital with DS2 we've had the same routine as I'm on my own 95% of the time as DH is on shifts and helps out on his rare days off.

Although there is lots of loud speaking on DS1 and my part it seems to work for us.

It is not easy and it takes a while to figure out what works for you.

DS was 19months when DD was born and i did my first solo bath/bedtime quite early on.

I get absolutely everything ready during the afternoon: vest, sleepsuit, muslin, pjs, grobags, towels, books and have it all in the bathroom ready.

I bath both at the same time, get baby out first, dry her and dress her and then toddler. Lots of reminders to DS of being a 'good boy' and 'helpful to mummy'.

I then take toddler into baby's room with his milk and books and then feed baby half her feed until she's drowsy. I put her in the cot. Then take toddler to his room for story and milk. And put him into his cot.

Back to baby to finish her milk and cuddle.

It's not easy but the sense of achievement i got the first time i did it was fantastic. Just make sure you have some wine in the fridge to reward yourself at the end. Good luck!

i think the key is to be relaxed about it, its great to have a routine but its not always going to work, so dont panic if it doesnt happen every night and the odd dvd or even a story tape/cd for them to listen to if you are busy with little one is fine!

i have 5, ranging from 12yrs down to 13mths and my partner works shift so i often have 4 evenings a week on my own with them and you do get used to it. they dont have to have a bath, as long as teeth are cleaned and a wash of grubby bits they will survive a night without, or two or three nights without a bath!

when i get them up in the morning i make sure that beds are made ready for bedtime and lay out pjs' nappies etc all that i will need ready for bedtime so i am not rushing around looking for those things at bedtime.

slings are great, as are baby swings or bouncy chairs, i used to have an extra bouncy chair that i just kept upstairs so there was always one to hand, think it cost me a £10 from asda or argos.

it does get easier!