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Original poster

Newborn sleeping problems

14 replies

windym · 10/01/2012 17:22

Our two week old DD refuses to lie down in her moses basket. She is permanently attached to mum and cries and cries when put down. We have tried warming the basket with a hot water bottle, as well as swaddling in a blanket while feeding and then trying to put her down with this. But no success so far. This wouldn't be a problem apart from the fact that we are essentially co-sleeping and would prefer not to due to safety concerns.

Relating to this, when she becomes distressed she automatically wants to feed, even if her last feed was 10 minutes ago. Essentially I think she is using mum for comfort which is of course understandable at 2 weeks old :) However it would be nice for mum to get some sleep and for me to be able to comfort her somehow. I'm not sure if this is a common problem or how long this will go on for.

Any guidance would be very much appreciated as we are completely new to this and I'm hearing so much conflicting advice from midwives and so on.

Many thanks.

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bean612 · 10/01/2012 17:36

Hi windy

My DD (now 3) was exactly the same - I couldn't put her down at all, and she certainly didn't want to sleep alone. Like you, we didn't want to co-sleep since I was worried about squashing her (she seemed so tiny!), and I found I couldn't sleep myself - probably because I was worried about squashing her. What worked for mine was swaddling, which you have already tried, I know. Have you wrapped her nice and tight? We tried with DD and it didn't work, but once the health visitor showed us how to do it properly, i.e. rather tighter than us scared new parents had been doing it, we could then put her down. I did still have to feed her to sleep, first, though. Many will counsel against this (bad habits, etc) but I'd say go for it - do what you have to do to for you all to get some sleep.

Hang in there - the first few weeks are tough, esp in terms of sleeping and being permanently attached to your baby (sometimes I felt like I was still pregnant in a weird way), but it does pass so quickly...

Original poster

windym · 10/01/2012 17:39

Thanks bean612 - that's very useful advice. I'll try swaddling again and see what happens.

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ladyWinterfell · 10/01/2012 17:46

This happened with our first born. I was totally strung out that he woke the second he was put down into moses basket. Midwife's advice was to co-sleep/not stress!!! Never looked back. We took one side off cot and pushed it right up next to bed. Lovely.
Also because we loved this so much when I as pregnant with DS2 we invested in a super king temper foam bed!!! co-sleep in style

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banana87 · 10/01/2012 17:56

This also happened with my DD1, and sometimes with DD2 (8 weeks). What I did with DD1 in the end was cosleep on the sofa so that I physically couldn't roll over in her! I removed the cushions from the back as well and had just a pillow. I also learned to feed laying down so I essentially lost no sleep every night.

With DD2 we co-sleep as well, in bed. I put pillows on either side of me and behind me so that again, I'm not physically able to roll over her!

It does get better though, I promise. Keep trying to put her down and if she wakes pick her up and try again later. I find that waiting to put them down when they are in a deep sleep is sometimes successful .

If your partner needs some rest, you can put baby in a sling and walk around until she falls asleep. DH does this for me sometimes and I get a good 2 hour sleep!

JoinTheDots · 10/01/2012 17:58

Hi Windy. My DD (now 16 months) was exactly like this. If I needed a break for 10 minutes for a shower or something my husband found bouncing her in his arms next to his warm chest would settle her (and make her fall asleep - but not well enough to be put down!).

I did feed her all the time for the first few weeks though. It worked out well in the end as it helped bring up my milk supply for the growth spurts (which felt like they were every other day for the first month!)

In terms of night time, we found using a cot sheet I had been keeping up my jumper helped (it smelt of me, and was warm) and also helped to ease her down eeeever so gently after she had been asleep for long enough for me to be able to pick up her arm and drop it without her waking. It did not always work, and I am sure for the first couple of weeks we co-slept when I didn't want to.

We chose to co-sleep again from about 10 weeks (when she was bigger, and we had a sidecar cot) as it was so much easier in the night for feeding, and by that age, she was a master at feeding laying down, so she would roll towards me, latch on, feed, finish and roll away again without me really waking.

It is a hard time, and it feels like it is forever, and you are doing everything wrong, making rods for your backs, but you are not. It will be better in no time, and you will be worrying about something else (there is always something...)

Congratulations on your little one, I hope the swaddling works for you.

Iggly · 10/01/2012 18:40

Normal normal! I'm on dc2 and 5 weeks in. Little babies really need their mums and if breastfeeding they'll feed a lot - not just for nutrition but to build up supply and to relax.
If baby seems hungry so soon after a feed its likely they hadn't quite finished. I find feeding into oblivion helped then I can pass DD to DH while I sleep without her waking.

UsedToBikeAndRunAndSki · 10/01/2012 18:50

Dd is 12 weeks old and never settled in the Moses basket her brother had loved. It is lined in white, which seems to have been toof bright and distracting, as she sleeps fine in her black carry cot. She spent several weeks sleeping in her carry cot in her big cot, before just the big cot. I also given her a worn t shirt if mine to help here settle.

natwebb79 · 10/01/2012 19:36

I could have written this 8 weeks ago! We ended up tilting the moses basket up slightly so he wasn't lying completely flat and playing white noise (googled and found web site with it on). White noise was a revelation! He's 9 weeks now and sleeps like a dream. Learning that leaving him to cry for a couple of minutes wouldn't kill him was also very useful

natwebb79 · 10/01/2012 19:37

We also bought a baby sheepskin for him to lie on which he loves.

Original poster

windym · 10/01/2012 20:03

Thank you all so much for your suggestions. I'll try some of the above and let you know what works.

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parsleysandwich · 10/01/2012 21:58

I resorted to getting one of these: www.bettacare.co.uk/acatalog/cocoonababy.html to solve this problem. It meant the baby could be in the bed with me (and if necessary I could have an arm round him), but had his own space with no risk of being rolled onto or the covers getting over him. A bit expensive, but definitely worth it at the time. We carried on using it till about 3 months, then found it fairly easy to move him to sleeping in a cot.

StickyGhost · 10/01/2012 22:53

Definitely agree with the white noise, type 'Baby Got Colic' into YouTube, my DS always slept better with this, it's incredibly annoying and you have to play it quite loud though. This first month will be very hard for you all, but it will get better and your DD will start to sleep a bit more deeply very soon (around 6 weeks). Just get through it the best you can. Hope things improve.

Loopymumsy · 11/01/2012 06:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lizzywig · 12/01/2012 13:16

I second the baby got colic on youtube, worked wonders for us. We also used 'relaxation music for babies, lulaby with river sound'. DD is 9 weeks old and for all the struggles we are having sleeping is not one of them, but it was. Every time I put her down she screamed the house down. On day 3 (growth spurt day) she was awake ALL night long and didn't go to sleep until 8am. I'd gone all blurry lol. For us we found the best thing to do was to let her fight herself to sleep, this is where she was being grizzly but not screaming. If she was screaming until red in the face we'd pick her up and calm her down. I think the trick is to get them calm and keep the calm, so much easier said than done ey but we found that music really helped. Up until six weeks she wouldn't go to bed until middnight, I realised she was probably over tired. You think you're putting them down early but actually they're way past bed time. DD for example can't stay awake for more than two hours at a time. So at six weeks we decided that 6pm was bath time, followed by change for bed, lullaby and bed. First night it took us 6 hours to get her down. Next night it took 5 hours. Next night it took 4 hours. They say it takes a week and for us it took just under. Then we went to bed on Christmas Eve and woke up Christmas morning - she'd slept through the night :-)

More recently we'd started rocking her to sleep in the day time as this was easy to get her to sleep. Unfortunately she expected it at bedtime too and wouldn't go down. So now I just pop her down in the day and leave her alone and she gets to sleep in two mins now. Last night she slept from 7:30 - 3:30 and then 4:30 - 8am. Amazing when I look back to just a few weeks ago.

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