DS wants friends around overnight for 17th birthday - WWYD?

[bananatrifle]

He's asked very nicely and has thought things through. This is what he would like:

He recently went to a friend's house where there were about 10-12 YP (all in 6th form) and the parent of the house was out all night, so they were allowed to stay til she got back the next morning. His friends are really nice, I have to say (quite 'preppy' IYKWIM) and although they like a few bottles they're not overly silly on drink and don't do drugs (to my knowledge). My own DS has a really moral view on drug taking and struggles that most of the others in his year at school do do them.

So, he's asking for the same thing - he'd like the house to himself and his friends for the night.

I have left my two older DS's around this age for a night years ago and came back to obvious signs of partying (although they thought they'd cleared up after having a 'few friends' around).

I think I'm ok with this, as long as ground rules are adhered to. We've spoken about these, eg: no beds to be slept in, some rooms completely off bounds, any trouble to be dealt with by my DS and his 2 closest friends together, he can contact me on my mobile if need be etc. My DP and I are actually having a night away in February, so my thoughts were my DS would probably have a few friends around anyway.

Any thoughts?

Well I'd say he's pretty much an adult so I don't know why you'd have a problem with it.

Yes, I know, it's the usual worries - what if things get broken, someone pukes up anywhere apart from the loo, noise levels too high so police get called :)

Extreme concerns, but then that's me - a born flippin worrier.

I think I need to show him he has our trust on this one, part of growing up etc etc.

I'm hoping that if it's agreed beforehand it'll be a bit more managed and he won't just go ahead and have one anyway on the night we're away.

I am sure he is a sensible nice 17 year old.

He is 17 though.

If there are girls, sex WILL, without a shadow of a doubt, take place.

Drugs probably not, as you would probably have got a sense by now if drug taking is prevalent amongst DS' friends.

As for drink, at least one will vomit. There will be drinking games and again, without a shadow of a doubt, excessive drinking.

Personally, I would not allow it in my house. But not for any moral reason, simply because I do not want the mess or hassle. However, I would have no problem with my DS at that age going to a house party where I sadly knew that sex and excessive drink were likely.

:)

Yes, I'm with you bbface on that - really don't want the hassle of coming home to mess.

Yes, he has been to stay at other's houses on a few occasions, normally just a few of them but once at this bigger get together. He said it was manageable and they all just enjoyed being together without grownups or younger children hanging around.

He's promised there will be a mass clean up before I get home.

I'm worried about stuff getting broken, that's not cheap/easy to replace eg window in the dresser etc.

I think it'll go ahead and I'll do my best not to spend my time away worrying about it all!!!!!!!!