toliet nightmare - please help!!

[milward]

My dd3 who is 2&half uses the potty & toilet at her preschool fine. The staff are very impressed & never an accident.

At home she refuses to go to the loo & potty & holds onto her wee & poo until she goes into bed. She then fills her nighttime nappy.

She is back to wearing pull ups as with underware she'd just hold on until she couldn't contain it any longer & there would be floods of wee. Have tried everything - putting her on the loo/potty, not putting her on the loo/potty. Presents if she does something, sweets for going, stickers..... Any ideas on how to deal with this gratefully received.

She's really unhappy with how things are. If she feels a poo coming she wont eat her dinner but cries to go to bed to do it there. She hops around & is uncomfortable - this can be from breakfast until the evening. She's trying not to wee or poo into her pull-up but refuses to go onto the loo or potty.

She's got 2 big sisters to watch on the loo as well - so she does know what to do. She used to like playing going on the loo but never did anything.

I'm trying to be calm but it's driving me nuts!!

Does she poo in the potty at school? I wonder if she's ok with peeing, but not pooing?

Could you find out what exact model of potty they have at preschool, and getting one like that at home? In case that makes a difference?

I'd try to work out the differences between the two situations, and eliminate the ones you can.

I got DS1 to poo in the potty by promising a big reward the first time he did it. We went on a trip to the laundromat!

Great idea on the potty notquitecockney. I'll check tomorrow & get the same one. She does wee & poo at school no probs.

School might even let you swap out one from there, if they're relaxed. You give them a new one, you get one that your DD has used successfully.

Other options:

• what happens if you're out and about? Will she wee herself then? Even if everyone's going along to the loo?
• leave her naked, if you don't have carpets downstairs, and you and she are mellow about nudity.
• talk up the big girl/baby thing? (you no doubt already have)
• get some potty training books? (library?)

Alternatively, give up at home for a few months, don't put any pressure on her, just leave her in nappies. Even baby nappies, rather than pull-ups. Leave her to it.

Notquitecockney - thanks so much for your suggestions.
We had sort of stopped with the toilet training & put the pull-ups back on - but it's the hopping about & refusing to eat when holding onto a poo that's getting to me. I said to her today - just do it in your pull-up, it's ok etc & she just cried.

Hmm, some books go into the poo thing. About sending it off to feed the flowers, waving bye-bye etc. Might help?

It's so frustrating when something is clearly bothering them, but they can't explain what!

This evening I got dd3 to sit onto the potty after her bath. Said she didn't have to do anything - just sit. I sang some songs loud to distract her from her shouting & loads of wee came out as she'd been holding on all afternoon!! Said she could have a treat & she had a sweet. Said she could have another one next time......

can u put a potty in her room?

is she wearing pants/pull up at pre school? reason i ask is i wonder if she is getting confused at all because of going back into pull ups?

Oh, good news, milward!

Potty in her room might help, too.

OR....and feel free to ignore me if u like....

put her back in pull ups for a few weeks and then try again?

Thanks mumofmonsters!!! & notquitecockney

We did have a potty in her room but she didn't like it!!

She's in pullups at school but was asking to wear underwear. We choose some together & took it into school for her drwaer but she doesn't want to wear them. On friday she had some underwear on over her pullup & as soon as she got home she took it off telling me that one of the helpers had put it on for her!!

ahhhhhhh!!!!!! Hope having treats will help - hate to use sweets in this way - but if it works I'll do this!!