Pre-school and 3 DCs under 4.

[tostaky]

I need advice!!
DS1 will be 3.9 in Sept 2012. He is a November baby so wont get into school before sept 2013. he has been in the same nursery since he was 10 months old. We are moving area now. He is a shy/clingy/grumpy little boy and still cries most mornings when I drop him off (he is 3.2 now) and he cant wait to start school (or so he thinks)
DS2 will be 2.5 in Sept 2012 so could also start the same pre-school as DS1 in sept 2012.
DC3 is planned for May 2012 so will be 3.5 months in Sept.
We have a cleaner and will have a mother help two evenings a week as DP does long hours and is not home before the kids bedtime (8.30).

We are moving home which means new childcare arrangements.
I don?t want a nanny/cm. so it is either a new nursery (and I visited a nice one not far from new home) or pre-school (visiting two with good OFSTED ratings next week)

My concern is that everybody tells me not to put the DCs in pre-school because it is only 3 hours a day (term-time) and I wont have the time to rest properly (which is going to be important with a 3rd DC). However I feel that DS1 would be much happier in a pre-school (he cannot wait to get to school + its only 3 hours a day)

Three options ? help me choose.
Option A.
DS1 + DS2 at same pre-school in Sept 2012 from 9am to noon mon-fri. DC3 will be 3.5 months in sept. Pre-school is 5-10 mins walk from home. All DCs with me for lunch and afternoon. Mother help from 5.30 to 8.30 every Tue and Thu. 8.30 is bedtime.

Option B
DS1 at pre-school, mon-Fri, 9am to noon. DS2 in nursery for 3 full days. 5-10 mins walk one way from home to pre-school then 15 mins in the other direction for nursery. Only DS1 and DC3 for lunch. DC3 to have one-to-one time on 3 mornings a week when DS1 is at pre-school and DS2 at nursery. Still mother help twice a week (she may be able to pick up DS2 from nursery too).

Option C
DS1 + DS2 at nursery DS1 Mon-Tue-Wed and DS2 Wed-Thu-Fri. I only have to deal with one DS + DC3 four days a week + I have Wednesdays on my own with DC3. Still mother help twice a week and pick ups from nursery twice a week..

My favourite option would be C because it is less stressful for me.
DP option would be A or B because he is convinced that they will learn more at pre-school than at nursery.
DS1 favourite option would be (I think) A or B. staying with mummy as much as poss and going to ?the little school?
DS2 favourite option would be A or C. because he feels a bit lost when he is away from his brother. Even then they wont be in the same room? one thing I want for him is for him to stay in the same setting until he starts school. So either two years of pre-school or two years of nursery, but not one year of pre-school and one year of nursery.
DC3 will certainly appreciate some one-to-one so B or C

Total: 3 votes for each options?.HELP!!!! I cannot make everybody happy!!!

What do you think I should do? Any advice is appreciated

I'd go for option D
Oldest Two in preschool as much as poss. Round here there aren't enough places so a 2.5 yr old wouldn't get full week.
Half day in afternoon for some of the week at nursery!! for all three oldest two.
You just need to do lunch!
Then you get to sleep/cook/cuddle either am or pm!

Hello,

Sounds like a tricky dilemma, esp as you are having to take so many peoples needs into account.

I have a fairly similar set up in that DS1 is 4, DS2 is 20 months and DD1 is due in the next two weeks. We have also just moved house too so both smalls had to change nursery/pre school.

Personally I am a big fan of pre school and feel it is great prep for big school and anywhere that is within walking distance gets extra points in my book (they also make local friends). My DS1 is in the local pre school and he loves it as it is part of the 'big boy' school he will go to in Sept 2012. Makes me feel better that he will be used to the school and will already have made some friends.

DS2 is at a nursery for 2 full days a week cos he is too young to go to the pre school and also I need to work on those two days so this works best for us. DD1 will go to same nursery in Sept 2012 to keep my life easier.

So in sum, I guess my advice would be go for pre school (sorry forgotten which option that was...A?) and I think seeing as both could go to the same place and are close in age might be better to have them both there for ease of dropping off and reassurance for each other. Hopefully then they will make lots of local friends and you can do some playdates for some of the afternoons to take the pressure off a bit.

Good luck!

i had 3 under 3's and this is what i did:
as little as possible! ds1 started nursery this september (term after 3rd birthday), baby was 7months. the less i had to go out and get somewhere on time, the better. ds1 does every morning and it's a real pain to be honest, we have to leave really early and he finishes before lunch. i did think about putting ds2 in nursery/pre-school but going in 2 different directions just didn't appeal. i had never used childcare and just muddled along by myself at home. we went out most days but if it all got too much then we could all sit around in pyjamas till 10am and i didn't have to worry about getting anywhere on time. my older 2 are really good together so i've not felt that i needed a break by putting any of them in nursery. my main concern at the moment is preparing ds1 for school next september, and he's in the nursery attached to the school he will probably go to so that will be perfect for him.

sorry that's not really helpful for you, i just wasn't keen to start getting them to nursery before i had to as i've got 18yrs of school runs to do! i had some help in the afternoons, that didn't really affect anything but meant i could catch up with housework. i was also really lucky that my older 2 still had/have afternoon sleeps so most days i could get a couple of hours to myself.

klinda - i didnt think about making lcal friends and filling up my afternoons with playdate. thats a good idea, although i doubt there will be many mums who will invite me and my three little ones....

mayday - i did think about that but that would involve lots of going to and from places (which is good to make me lose my baby weight!!!)

natural - you are so lucky to have two good sleepers!! My two older ones dont sleep during the day (DS2 does sometimesonly if we drive somewhere). they are also quite full-on!!!

option a seems like the best thing to me. it would be nice for your 2 ds being in preschool together as they would maybe settle in easier especially with moving house atleast they would have each other?

if it was me thats what i would do it seems like the more simple option and being in preschool every morning is plenty for their age, i think full days is a lot unless you need it for the childcare

my 3 are all 3 and under and oldest will be starting preschool this week, until now i have just kept them with me and like someone mentioned having them at home is easier in a way but once they are 3 it does seem like they will benefit a lot from preschool

as for making life easier for you by having then in nursery full days so you have less dc to deal with, imo this will not make things easier really cos when you have the older 2 home together they can play together and entertain each other a bit?

i know people say all this about oh you will need to rest etc etc, but i think having 2 of them in preschool and one at home in mornings, and then having them all in afternoon, will be very manageable so i wouldnt overcomplicate it

also if your dc1 will be happier in preschool because of the school side and spending more time with you then i would go with that as him being happier will be better for him and you, especilly with moving house and new baby he will have enough to unsettle him so its much better if he is happier and settled with the preschool option than all day in a new nursery

Thank you I think you are quite right, my two play well together and at leas I'll have all my mornings free.