Stranger Danger - what message should I be giving my 5 yr old.

[SilentBoob]

She is nearly 6.

There have been two attempted child abductions in our area recently (we do not live in UK) and frankly some of the rumours flying around at the moment are terrifying.

My main approach currently is to not let them out of my sight.

I have also tried to have a chat with her, but it's a very complicated thing to explain in age appropriate terms. Particularly in a country where everyone talks to children and they have been brought up to answer politely. Tips?

Also wondering about asking school if they would be reinforcing the message. Do you think this is a good idea?

When my mum had the Stranger Danger chat with me I was traumatised. What is received wisdom on the best message to give to small children these days?

Stranger Danger is no longer taught as it was proved ineffectual and dangerous.

A MN blogger recently did an excellent post about this. I'll be back with a link in a minute!

Protecting Our Children

That's really useful and interesting. Thank you for linking Tee.

Thanks for that Tee. I have always disliked Stranger Danger. That blog explains and advises it very well.

Thanks for linking to my blog, Tee.

Glad it helped you, Silent.

I think that in your situation, I would try to remember that the rumour mill does go into overtime when something has happened. Try not to get too worked up about it.

Have a chat with the school and ask what they think. Some schools will organise a police man to come into school and chat with the parents. (Depending on the country you are in).

Speak to your daughter about good feelings and bad feelings rather than stranger danger - if she has a bad feeling about anyone, no matter if she knows them or not, she should say NO and walk away to find an adult.

Remind her that although it is important to be polite, if she feels upset by someone then it is all right to be "rude" and walk away.

I think that a 6yo can grasp that, without it terrifying her.

My Daughters have been taught a little rhyme that they both know off by heart.

"I don't go anywhere, with anyone, without checking with my mum".

I have told them that it is my job to keep them safe, and whilst most people are kind and nice, not all people are and that I can't do my job as a mummy in keeping them safe if I do not know where they are (They are aware of missing children etc). Therefore, they have certain people who they know they are always allowed to go with (for example, I have an agreement with another mum that if I'm late for school this mum will be the one to collect them), but beyond that they do not go with anyone without checking with me first.

We also have designated safe houses (mostly houses of their friends), so if DDs were approached when out and about, they know to just shout "NO" and go straight to their nearest safe house. There's lots of them, so there's always one in sight when my children are out playing.

There are other things we do, but can't remember them at the moment

In case you are interested, I have written a blog post on protecting children online as a follow up to the stranger danger one.

can you link to your blog post MmeLindor?

Letchlady
Safe houses is a good idea.

Blog here, Red