Four languages - who? when? how?

[dezfree]

My first language in Arabic (well Masri - Egyptian Arabic)
My liturical language is Coptic.

I also speak English (we live in the UK)

DH is bilingual in English and Urdu (english being his primary)
but knows religious Arabic.

Any ideas as to how we do that one would be wonderful?

Wow!

I always think that it must be REALLY hard to speak anything but your own native (primary) tongue to your baby. I speak other languages well but couldn't speak anything but English to mine. So, as far as you and your dh are concerned, I'd just do what seems natural and avoid speaking a second language to your kids. Then grandparents/other members of the family who may have different mother tongues can speak in those.

I agree with jkkplu - I suggest DH and you speak your mother tongue or the the language you feel most comfortable with. Nothing worse than speaking a non-native language to your kids imo - not only will you not feel completely at ease but your kids may pick up wrong accents.

As you live in the UK your kids will pick up English from school so no need to worry about that. Good luck!

Definitely leave English to the environment and school. If you plan to be in the UK longterm, the one language you can be sure of is English.

I agree with Pps....each parent shoukd speak the language they feel most comfortable with and then possibly introduce further languages via grandparents.

Do you and your DH at least understand each other's language of choice? This will make life a lot easier if you do. I read somewhere that the biggest reason for bilingual failure is when the two parents do not at least understand each other, as quite quickly, there is a tendancy to scitch to a common language that everyone understands. Otherwise, even exchanges such as:
DH: do you want an apple
child: yes please
Become incomprehensible and that is then a barrier to easy family life.

Once you have selected your language, be consistent.

And don't listen to the naysayers!

Good luck.

Thanks

me and DH speak English to each other. His Arabic is purely from Quran while mine is Masri and my mother tongue.
And I definatly don't know urdu (apart from yes,no,thanks etc) and even he speaks a mix of urdu and english with his family.

My only thing is that coptic I think is a dying/dead language and with us not living in a coptic community and definatly don't going to church - I don't want it to be lost (even if it only survives in the bible,prayers or hymns - but if wouldn't go to church...) any ideas on that (I know a bit of general - but...)

As previous posters have said, if you're living in the UK then you don't need to worry too much about English in the home. If Egyptian Arabic is spoken by your family and Urdu by your husband's, I'd focus on those. Religious languages can be culturally important but I assume they're not languages in which people hold a conversation with each other? Any language in which you can find suitable children's material (DVDs, books, games etc) and that has vocabulary for kids things (nappies, dummies etc) are much easier to keep alive in a foreign country that a 'high' language.

I'd say it's a very personal thing whether you feel at ease speaking a language that is not your mother tongue to your baby: I always felt comfortable switching between my first and second language and I knew my accent was good.

However, in your situation there are quite a few things going on.

Coptic is your liturgical language, so presumably not something you speak in an everyday situation. I'd leave that for later, to be taught to your dc if/when relevant. I'd say the same about your dh's religious Arabic. If it gets to a choice between these two I would have it depend on which religion (if any) your dc is brought up in. If they are brought up in either religion presumably the liturgical language is one they will learn/absorb in that particular religious setting. So I'd leave those for now.

It is then a question of what position urdu has in your dh's life and the life of his wider family. Is urdu very much part of your dh's life, something he feels a need to speak on an everyday basis because it's part of him? Or is it just something he can speak? Is it something the dc would need to know to communicate with grandparents or cousins? If not, I would leave that, too, for later.

That whittles it down to English and Arabic (and possibly urdu if it is a big part of your lives). As your husband does not seem to speak Arabic, I would do OPOL.

sorry, should have read your last post more carefully

I can see what you mean about Coptic, but there are more ways of learning a language than being brought up speaking it from birth

my mother gave me lessons in English and German from the age of 6; my English is pretty good and I can at least read German